TMI

[jasJis]

dUSt,
From the perspective of 20+ years of marital bliss and marital sheol, it's a bad idea. Treat people as you want to be treated. Sex is not you getting yours and she getting hers. It's you giving yourself and she giving herself. If it's turned into a selfish act, it's disordered. You want to make a sexual difference in your life? Make the focus of your marital sex an act of you giving love to your wife to show her how much you care for her and to bring her pleasure. Sex for you should be a physical love letter to her, not to satisfy your "needs". You want to change her mind? Than change yours first and live it. Complain 6 months later if it hasn't worked. It is in giving that we recieve. Give first.

Edited January 14, 2005 by jasJis

[Carrie]

dUSt, this is NOT going to end up in your favor. Rethink it dude, rethink it.

[Birgitta Noel]

JasJis, so very nicely put. dUSt, he's so right, you're gonna have a lot of splainin to do to the man upstairs if you're approaching this with the wrong attitude. Imagine if Christ were to withhold his gift of mercy from us just so He could get what he wanted?

Tsk Tsk dUSt.

[XIX]

I had nightmares about this whole thing last night

[dUSt]

Please. I am basically fighting fire with fire here. It's a healthy duel between two people who love eachother very much. If I am guilty of "denying my spouse her marital rights", then she has been guilty of the same sin for some time. Therefore, I am not concerned with my own desires, but for the spiritual well being of my wife--for I am implementing this tactic in an effort to get her to stop sinning. What kind of husband would I be if I kept things like they were and allowed my wife to keep committing the sin of "denying her spouse his marital rights"?

Answer that all of you Dr Phils.

[Tony]

[quote name='dUSt' date='Jan 14 2005, 05:14 PM']

Answer that all of you Dr Phils. [/quote]
:rotfl:

[homeschoolmom]

Could it be that she's just really tired from being a mommy?

[rachael]

[quote name='dUSt' date='Jan 14 2005, 04:14 PM'] Please. I am basically fighting fire with fire here. It's a healthy duel between two people who love eachother very much. If I am guilty of "denying my spouse her marital rights", then she has been guilty of the same sin for some time. Therefore, I am not concerned with my own desires, but for the spiritual well being of my wife--for I am implementing this tactic in an effort to get her to stop sinning. What kind of husband would I be if I kept things like they were and allowed my wife to keep committing the sin of "denying her spouse his marital rights"?

Answer that all of you Dr Phils. [/quote]

[jasJis]

[quote name='dUSt' date='Jan 14 2005, 04:14 PM'] Answer that all of you Dr Phils. [/quote]
As Dr. Phil would say: "You teach people how to treat you."

So. Your wife has taught you to treat sex as a weapon by with-holding it? That makes it right? Do you really think she is sinning? Really? Isn't there someother underlying conflict that is being resolved in bed? As Dr. Phil would say: "How's it working for you pal?"

You've been married for years. You have your own fair share of bad stuff to be guilty about. Do you want to make sex about power? Your current course of action will be successful to your sorrow.

Do you want your wife to view sex as a way to tell you how much she loves and cherishes you as a person and that telling and showing you that is satisfaction enough? Then you do it first for 6 months. Pray about it, ask God to grace you to get beyond the tit-for-tat (no pun intended) mentality and ask for the grace to learn how to use sex foremost as a way to show your wife how much you love her. Unless she already hates your guts, who doesn't want to hear/see/feel "I love you!" from their spouse?

[dUSt]

Let me put it like this...

If one doesn't care for brocolli, but happens to crave it one day a month--generally, one would be happy to elimate brocolli from their diet all-together rather than eat it multiple times per month.

My wife is generally happy with my decision.

My hope is that one learns to appreciate brocolli on a more consistent basis when one is deprived of brocolli for such an extended period of time.