leave parents and cleave to...

[Aloysius]

For this reason shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his... college it seems. That has become the accepted concept, that we're supposed to leave our parents when it's time to go to college... to become individuals seperate from our parents and out in the world on our own. But that's not the way the Bible has it.

The Bible has it that a man should leave his family home when he's ready to cleave to his wife. Of course, college stresses relationships often and they cannot financially be fruitful and oftentimes it's a struggle uphill to succeed, so we're supposed to leave our parents to go be on our own and find ourselves... it just seems so contrary to the natural order to me.

I know that's the way it is, but is that the way it should be? In case no one noticed, I like to be a crazy idealist and attempt to bring about the best even if it's not the way things are commonly suggested to be done.

[Era Might]

For any new Phatmassers:

Aloysius is our resident backwoods survivalist. He goes about in a hair shirt eating locusts.

Don't be frightened.

:

Edited November 10, 2005 by Era Might

[Jazz4jesus]

he also lives on islands you never thought existed

[Aloysius]

hehe

[Socrates]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Nov 9 2005, 08:04 PM']For this reason shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his... college it seems.   That has become the accepted concept, that we're supposed to leave our parents when it's time to go to college... to become individuals seperate from our parents and out in the world on our own.  But that's not the way the Bible has it.

The Bible has it that a man should leave his family home when he's ready to cleave to his wife.  Of course, college stresses relationships often and they cannot financially be fruitful and oftentimes it's a struggle uphill to succeed, so we're supposed to leave our parents to go be on our own and find ourselves... it just seems so contrary to the natural order to me.

I know that's the way it is, but is that the way it should be?  In case no one noticed, I like to be a crazy idealist and attempt to bring about the best even if it's not the way things are commonly suggested to be done.
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Stop whining and hit the books!

[Aloysius]

I love books. But not college textbooks (very poorly written)

:

[lilac_angel]

You don't *have* to leave your parents when you go to college....

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Nov 9 2005, 09:04 PM']For this reason shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his... college it seems.   That has become the accepted concept, that we're supposed to leave our parents when it's time to go to college... to become individuals seperate from our parents and out in the world on our own.  But that's not the way the Bible has it.

The Bible has it that a man should leave his family home when he's ready to cleave to his wife.  Of course, college stresses relationships often and they cannot financially be fruitful and oftentimes it's a struggle uphill to succeed, so we're supposed to leave our parents to go be on our own and find ourselves... it just seems so contrary to the natural order to me.

I know that's the way it is, but is that the way it should be?  In case no one noticed, I like to be a crazy idealist and attempt to bring about the best even if it's not the way things are commonly suggested to be done.
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I agree with you. All of my kids in college live at home.

[Aloysius]

[quote name='lilac_angel' date='Nov 9 2005, 10:10 PM']You don't *have* to leave your parents when you go to college....
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hmm... if I hadn't picked this college an hour away from home... hmm...

[sweetpea316]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Nov 9 2005, 09:19 PM']hmm... if I hadn't picked this college an hour away from home... hmm...
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No kidding, so do I... I end up going home most weekends... I think I'm gonna get out of that habit a little more. No offense to the family...

[Aloysius]

the thing is, unless you're married, it would seem that's a good habit. it seems to me that the ideal situation is living at home until one gets married. for [i]this[/i] reason a man leaves mother and father, why should we leave them for another reason, like college?

[Ash Wednesday]

I don't know, while that is an interesting observation, I'm not so sure that a student going off to college, away from their parents and with no plans to marry is necessarily "unbiblical." Maybe I'm just too modernized but it's hard to marry out of high school when you haven't found a spouse, and these days you generally can expect to go to college if you want the kind of work that can support a family. And let's suppose you didn't grow up in a college town?

You will see nowdays at many weddings that fathers still give their daughters away in the ceremony and there's often a certain "rite of passage" where the parents lose their "baby" in a wedding ceremony that college doesn't quite give. Even when kids go away to college they still often come home during breaks, and move back in with their parents after school.

I suppose I see college as slowly becoming an extension of childhood/young adulthood (not that this is a good thing) and it's marriage when people really are forced to grow up.

Meh, I've been playing "devil's advocate" with people all day. Maybe it's PMS.

I will say that this "cleaving to college" and leaving your parents behind in the process at 18 is very much an American thing. Quite often in other places, people still stay at home with their parents well past 18 and leave the house when they marry.

I lived at home for the first 3 years of college and moved into an apartment in the last year.

[photosynthesis]

you are lucky you have the economic means to afford a college education.

[cmotherofpirl]

You don't need luck to get a college education -you need good grades and some serious time put into applying for scholarships, grants and financial aid. I have 3 kids in college right now. so I know it can be done.

[Aloysius]

I didn't say I wasn't, though I do question whether this is the best use of that economic means. College is not some divine institution that makes life worth living. it's an ugly necessity for good paying jobs in modernity. it used to be a great place to train scholars where they'd push the limits of academia, but academia at college seems to be somewhat diseased by the concept that everyone should go to college to get a degree and a good job. the learning for the sake of learning atmosphere is dying rapidly because it's considered necessary for most people.

Ash Wednesday, I understand the problems at how it's not feasible, but I do think in an ideal Christianized society there wouldn't be a real leaving-of-home thing until marriage (or entering seminary or monastery or convent)

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Nov 9 2005, 10:08 PM']You don't need luck to get a college education -you need good grades and some serious time put into applying for scholarships, grants and financial aid. I have 3 kids in college right now. so I know it can be done.
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still, there are a lot of people out there who could only dream of getting to go to college. While it is possible to defy your circumstances, I know there are neighborhoods right here in Baltimore where less than half of children graduate from high school. People lose hope.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 9 2005, 11:12 PM']still, there are a lot of people out there who could only dream of getting to go to college.  While it is possible to defy your circumstances, I know there are neighborhoods right here in Baltimore where less than half of children graduate from high school.  People lose hope.
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I live in one of those neighborhoods. You don't need a high school diploma, all you need is your GED and determination to be better than where you started out.

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Nov 9 2005, 10:10 PM']Ash Wednesday, I understand the problems at how it's not feasible, but I do think in an ideal Christianized society there wouldn't be a real leaving-of-home thing until marriage (or entering seminary or monastery or convent)
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Well, Papa B. (or was it Peter Seewald or both) did mention something in one of his books -- the possibility of Christian style Kibbutzes. That would be fine with me. :

[Ash Wednesday]

I think most U.S. citizens can go to college if they really have the determination. My parents couldn't help me with college, which was why I stayed at home for the first years.

As cmom pointed out, all you need is the diploma.

And well, if need be some loans from Uncle Sam. But that's life. He's helped me out but I have to pay him back.

[Aloysius]

yeah that's true for the most part, but I think it really harms college to consider it something necessary for success in life. it's deteriorated academia into a slave to the job market, rather than a true place of HIGHER learning.

what's a kabutz?