franciscanheart Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Do forgive me if this has been recently debated... In your opinion, is it acceptable for a woman to keep her "traditionally supposed to be" maiden name instead of taking her husband's? If not, is it acceptable for a woman to keep her maiden name in addition to her husband's? If she keeps her maiden name in addition to the new name, is it acceptable to then use it on a regular basis as a part of her last name or should it be like a middle name or confirmation name (where by it is only used when saying your complete name)?
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 well, the two do become one, which i think is the idea about taking your husband's name. i think, not on any deep theological level of course, but that its best if they do have the same name. of course, as the last of my family's line (Garcias), i tried to convince my husband to take MY last name but he wasn't going for it (after all, the man leaves HIS mother and father and clings to his wife so that the two become one flesh so, i just used it as an opportunity to submit to my husband and instead, made my maiden name my 2nd middle name. in addition, we agreed that all of our children would have my maiden name as their 2nd middle name. but then, thats just me!
Sarah_JC Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 But what if you're a school teacher, and you fall in love with a Mr. Butts? (the last name does exist) No way I'd do it.
franciscanheart Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Sarah_JC' date='Feb 13 2006, 11:18 AM']But what if you're a school teacher, and you fall in love with a Mr. Butts? (the last name does exist) No way I'd do it. [right][snapback]885772[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Seems kinda childish and petty though doesn't it?
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 heehee a Seymour Butts? lol sorry, couldn't resist. besides, i'm with laura. you have to learn to submit in the little things or the big things become nearly impossible
photosynthesis Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 When I get married, I want to take my husband's name, and I'd probably keep my own last name as a 2nd middle name. Plus, it would be cool to sign my name as C. K. M. (whatever his last name is).
Sojourner Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 My boss uses her maiden name professionally, although she's taken her husband's name legally. Since if I get married it will be after having spent several years in my profession, it seems reasonable to me to weigh several factors into the decision, including what professional ramifications it could have, what his last name is, etc. I wouldn't do hyphenated. I think that's dumb.
Thy Geekdom Come Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I've never been a fan of the more modern practice of keeping one's name. Granted, it's a cultural thing (Spain, for instance, practices very different naming traditions than ours), but it bugs me when a woman doesn't take her husband's name. It's not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with it...it's just...why? The only answers I can come up with are a certain attachment to one's own familiar name, an avoidance of confusing others (as is sometimes the case with anchorwomen who get married and don't want to confuse the viewers), and last but not least, a desire not to ascribe to the false view of the "male hierarchical society." My mother didn't want my dad's name...or her own...she picked a completely different name: Kenny. I call her Mrs. Murphy. I'm such a rebel.
franciscanheart Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Sojourner' date='Feb 13 2006, 11:29 AM']My boss uses her maiden name professionally, although she's taken her husband's name legally. Since if I get married it will be after having spent several years in my profession, it seems reasonable to me to weigh several factors into the decision, including what professional ramifications it could have, what his last name is, etc. I wouldn't do hyphenated. I think that's dumb. [right][snapback]885793[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I've debated in my head such a matter... what if I become established in something with my own last name and then I get married? Would it be proper to use my maiden name for my own business practices? Is it then the money I am concerned about, my image being lost because of name confusion.... it hurts my head to think about it.
Jaime Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 If I were to marry, I would like to take my wife's maiden name as my middle name.
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 what are the professional ramifications of taking your husband's last name? why can't they just get used to you as Mrs. someone? and i'm with Micah, it just makes me go "but why"? and i haven't heard a good enough reason yet! :
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 hot stuff, that's an interesting idea.... may i ask why? just curious, is all
Thy Geekdom Come Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Brother Adam' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:36 PM']Aren't you suppose to call her mom? [right][snapback]885799[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I mean when I'm filling out forms and stuff. It always made me feel like my parents were divorced or something, putting down two names...until I filled out the address...then I felt like my parents were, in Dr. Laura's terms, "shackin' up."
Brother Adam Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 yeah it makes you think "So you want to be married but you want to be independant...so which is it? American feminism. Trying to take the best of both worlds.
franciscanheart Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='kateri05' date='Feb 13 2006, 11:37 AM']what are the professional ramifications of taking your husband's last name? why can't they just get used to you as Mrs. someone? and i'm with Micah, it just makes me go "but why"? and i haven't heard a good enough reason yet! : [right][snapback]885805[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm with you on this I think. I don' t think there should be any real thought process to it haha! Just take his last name! I like that Courtney Cox became Courtney Cox-Arquette even if it was all that hyphenated business.
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 yea, i'm with soj on the hypenated thing... cuz then your kids end up with a million letter last name and.... blah. just pick one already : also, if you have a different last name then your kids (who would presumably have the dad's last name), how do you explain to your kid why you don't match?
Jaime Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='kateri05' date='Feb 13 2006, 11:39 AM']hot stuff, that's an interesting idea.... may i ask why? just curious, is all [right][snapback]885810[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I think if you're really going for the "two become one" idea. Then why shouldn't I make a change? If she's willing to take my name and my history, I should be willing to do the same. I just thought it would be cool.
Thy Geekdom Come Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='kateri05' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:45 PM']also, if you have a different last name then your kids (who would presumably have the dad's last name), how do you explain to your kid why you don't match? [right][snapback]885820[/snapback][/right] [/quote] That's what I mean! I always felt dysfunctional when filling out forms.
homeschoolmom Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 What I always think if funny is when women won't take the husband's name for feminist reasons... I've had the following conversation before: She: I'm not going to take my husband's name. Why should I take his name just cuz he's a MAN?? Me: So, what name will you have? She: My current name, _____. Me: But isn't that the name your parents gave you? I mean, isn't that your dad's name? He's a man, right? She:
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