being divorced

[Sailahína]

I'd probably pray about it, God might not have wanted me to marry. He might have another vocation for me

[goldbug16]

I [i]would not remarry [/i] unless, I had been anulled, because [i]no matter what the other person[/i] is doing you are both [i]still in a covenant[/i], made before God. Period.

[HisChild]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 10 2006, 01:41 AM']I'm not so sure about that. It might vary from state to state, but the situation with Bud and Bai Macfarlane touches upon this very issue concerning divorce procedures in Ohio, and may be the case in many places where the couple is put on a fast track to divorce, even if one spouse doesn't want it. She is now campaigning for the laws to be reformed. I don't know what the situation is with them personally, and it's probably best not to speculate about what went on to cause the marriage crisis in the first place. But the no-fault divorce laws certainly are something worth calling into question.
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wait. . .did I miss something on the first page of this post? Bud's getting divorced???

[HisChild]

[quote name='Amator Veritatis' date='Mar 7 2006, 06:14 PM']I am not aware of the divorce laws in America or anywhere else for that matter, but as far as I understand, the party against which a suit of divorce has been brought is required at least to consent to the divorce. Am I correct? [right][snapback]905833[/snapback][/right]
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First, and I can only state with clarity the laws where I live, it does not matter if the other person consents to the civil divorce or not. . .the proceedings might take longer but if one person wants out of a marriage, and can state their case as to why, the courts will not make another person remain civilly married to their spouse. Even if the respondent was unable to be found to even be served papers, after a reasonable effort was made, notices put in the paper, etc, the hearing would proceed to take place.

[quote name='musturde' date='Mar 7 2006, 09:50 PM']Okay that makes no sense tho. Sorry if I don't understand this but how on earth can you not be on grounds for annulment if your wife left you and remmarried. That doesn't make sense. If she's cheating on you, that doesn't qualify divorce? Seriously, i think a priest would be OUT OF HIS MIND if he was to say that this isn't on the grounds of annulment... Would these two people really be meant to be in Gods eyes if one of them refuses to stay with the other? Wouldn't that qualify for annulment in itself?  I just can't understand this, can someone explain it. I have a feeling the Church is far more compassionate than this.
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A priest does not grant an annulment, the Church tribunal does. When one person goes to a Tribunal representative, seeking an annulment, there is, which varies slightly from diocese to diocese, a several page document that the applicant fills out, regarding their life before, during and after the marriage. The questions are incredibly personal, asking for instances of abuse, whether it's mental, physical, sexual, alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc., The questionnaire also asks for things such as your spiritual life, your spouses spiritual life, your Church activities, if you have children, and if not, was that a decision made by one or the other parties, etc. Truly, it's quite probing as to the state of your relationship before, during and after the marriage. Once that's filled out, your spouse is mailed a similar form in response, which they can refuse to fill out, ignore, or respond. You also are required to give names of several witnesses who knew you before, during and after your marriage (after, because you can't even formally apply until you are civilly divorced). Then, once all this is filled out and returned, a fomal Tribunal is convened. What that usually means, is that all this information is copied and sent to all the members of the Tribunal (one of the reasons the Church asks for money, to offset all these costs for copying, postage, etc.) The members read through the information pertaining to your case, and ultimately see if, according to canon law, your marriage was valid. Was there mental illness, were you coerced into marriage, is one member refusing to have children, did you marry without due discretion?

Finally, once that decision is reached, it is sent to a second diocese, as the Court of Second Instance. That Tribunal thoroughly goes over the information and the decision reached by the Tribunal Court of First Instance, and either renders the same decision, or reaches their own conclusion. Finally, when those two courts have reached an agreement, the parties are sent word of the verdict.

In the end, it's not about being nice or compassionate, it's about being Catholic. It sounds harsh, but, while I am sure Her heart aches for both parties, just because one party refuses to stay with another, it is not grounds for annulment. And, there are many things that were 'meant to be' in God's eyes, but as we all have free will, we err, we sin, we go astray from His will, from what He would will.

God bless you and I hope I helped.

Edited March 21, 2006 by PCPA2Be