God Conquers Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 PS St. Mary's rocks!!! ....and I've been to soem of those weddings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zealousrap Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 [quote name='God Conquers' date='Apr 16 2006, 11:50 AM']The argument that Norseman proposes is a good one, and applies equally well to what he is talking about (vocation) as to choice of spouse. The is no "the one", predetermined from all time for you to fall in love with. God has a perfect will... and very often it is a will which we are incapable of following. It's just reality. However, as Christians (practicing and following our faith) we are never outside of His will, although we may not attain its perfection. If God calls us to be a priest, WE make the decision, and WE must having made that choice, make it our undying life. By the same token, you may spend your entire life looking for the perfect man or woman... but you will ALWAYS find some imperfections (my girlfriend ius pretty close though haha). People must live realistic lives which are guided by the Holy Spirit and by the force of their convictions and integrity of their God guided decisions. "There is no one out there who is THE ONE. However, there are many out there who you may easily CHOOSE to BE THE ONE." - Me! [right][snapback]949142[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm not sure why you are stressing that it is our choice. That's exactly what I am saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Good. So is #82. But so many guys and girls mope around trying to find perfection. And lots of people get dissilusioned with God because of it. I agree with you most of all probably on trust. We have to trust that God will provide for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morostheos Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Apr 16 2006, 01:13 PM']No the 82 does not refer to birth year. It refers to graduation year. [right][snapback]949036[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Ooops, sorry about that, I should have checked! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_JC Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I mentioned last night I was eager to find a compatible young man... and a friend of mine tore me out because I was only 19, and she was ... older... and therefore I wasn't ready for marriage and she was. Is it ever a good idea to gently mention to a friend that she ISN'T ready for marriage? How does one say "you aren't ready to find him, because you need to love yourself first." Without implying there's a "one" or that she shouldn't sign up for an online Catholic dating thing onces she's ready? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Did she give you specific reasons why she thinks you're not ready? Maybe she regrets putting off being serious about relationships and is jealous you are actually thinking ahead? This is all speculation on my part. I know of a handful of relationships where the lady was 19 when she got married, nevermind just meeting the guy for the first time. My mother was 19 when she met my Dad. They are all still happily married. I don't see age as an issue as much as maturity. Some people are more mature at 19 than others are. I dislike blanket statements. While I wouldn't say, "Go out and find a guy as soon as possible" I wouldn't discourage someone if they met a man that stood out to them and they wanted to get to know better. My .02 cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 [quote name='Sarah_JC' date='Apr 17 2006, 12:25 PM']Is it ever a good idea to gently mention to a friend that she ISN'T ready for marriage? How does one say "you aren't ready to find him, because you need to love yourself first." Without implying there's a "one" or that she shouldn't sign up for an online Catholic dating thing onces she's ready? [right][snapback]950533[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Such a discussion must be handled very delicately, if at all. I don't think I've ever told a friend I don't think she's ready for marriage, and I've never had a friend tell me that either. I've thought it about [i]myself[/i] at various points, but that's an entirely different matter. Now, I have talked to a friend about a relationship she was having with a guy I didn't like ... he was mildly abusive when they were dating. She didn't see the problems because they were in love, and didn't appreciate my weighing in on the situation. Now they're married and have a son together, and my friendship with her has simply never been the same. In retrospect, I think I would have been less forthcoming with my opinion about the relationship. It's generally better to help someone come to a realization themselves than to preach to them your take on a given situation, no matter how gently the preaching is done. .02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I have to agree with Sojourner. Unless the situation is a dire one I would only "help someone come to a realization themseves". It is generally a lot better for everyone involved. Perhaps if your friend realizes this on her own, she will make better decisions affecting her vocation and her state in life. Sometimes when you tell someone they aren't ready for a relationship, they are quick to the defense. Being quick to the defense can lead to irrational behavior (however small) and create another obstacle in the vocational journey. I would say the two keys in such a situation are prayer and patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 [quote name='Sarah_JC' date='Apr 17 2006, 09:25 AM'] Is it ever a good idea to gently mention to a friend that she ISN'T ready for marriage? How does one say "you aren't ready to find him, because you need to love yourself first." [right][snapback]950533[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Is someone telling you this? If so, what evidence is there that you don't love yourself? Just because you are looking for a compatible young man does not mean that you are heading to the altar already. Sure, you're young, but that doesn't mean you can't get ready for the day. Unless there is something serious that she is concerned about, it sounds to me like this is a snotty cliquish buttinski who should mind her own business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_JC Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I'm going to move this to a PM... so... here's a question... In my work with Lifeteen, and CCO... I rarely see any men in 1st or 2nd year university. They're all either in high school, or 3rd or 4th year. Anyone else notice this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazor Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 NO... But then again I am a already outta college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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