Does Anyone Have A Relative Or Close Friend Who Is Gay Or Lesbian?

["Kyrie eleison"]

sorry, double post, ignore or delete please.

[Faith 1st]

I think that two of my cousins are...but they have not said anything about it yet....

[Deb]

I have a couple of gay male friends. Most of the other gay friends I knew growing up are either dead from aids or suicide.

["Kyrie eleison"]

I actually work in a field that is bombarded with gays. I have been surrounded by them most of my life after my 20's.

[Spamity Calamity]

Yes, my best friend is gay.

["Kyrie eleison"]

My heart goes out to them as they have this inner struggle within themselves. Some don't give a beaver dam about their lifestyle, but there are those that I have had deep discussions with that truly struggle and don't know what to do. Many do commit suicide or turn to substances to numb their pain.

["Kyrie eleison"]

Do any of you feel the responsibility for steering them away from their sin? What about you, Spamity, since this is your best friend.

I was told by another Catholic that my salvation is in question if I don't attempt to evangelize those that I come in contact with who are living in this life style. I will be held accountable.

Edited January 11, 2008 by "Kyrie eleison"

[Mari Therese]

Several close friends of mine are gay. It is hard for me to see them struggle with their families, identities, and "relationships". One friend of mine was living the lifestyle for quite sometime, but was left unhappy and confused, he no longer lives that lifestyle, thanks be to God. My other friends are still lost and struggling. They were friends before the "outed" themselves to me. As a friend, I am there to support them in their efforts towards holiness. They remind me that Jesus said not to judge others. My best advice is to PRAY for your friends. Love them like Jesus does (they probably need this more than ever). We all struggle with our sins. Finally, God will take care off us all:)

PAX

[Spamity Calamity]

[quote name='"Kyrie eleison' post='1444617' date='Jan 11 2008, 01:53 PM']Do any of you feel the responsibility for steering them away from their sin? What about you, Spamity, since this is your best friend.

I was told by another Catholic that my salvation is in question if I don't attempt to evangelize those that I come in contact with who are living in this life style. I will be held accountable.[/quote]

I do not feel a responsibility myself. He knows how the Catholic church feels about homosexuals and knows that it goes against Objectivist philosophy as well. He understands why it is considered a sin. He doesnt care. He himself is an atheist that holds great respect for the Catholic Church for advancing science, producing some of the greatest intellectual minds ever, keeping knowlege alive during the dark ages, and for all the good the church does today as well. He thinks that the Catholic Church and Objectivism just got it wrong on this subject and feels that in time it will be corrected.

I hope he doesnt kick my butt for revealing this but he does not engage in sex with other men. He is attracted to men, and he watches alot of gay porn (like ALOT...alot...aloooooot). He has had oral sex with other men but never anal sex ever. But his last sexual encounter was in high school and hes like 25 now and does not date or "go clubbing" hes trying to get a Masters in government and reads.

So what am I supposed to do? I'd have to get him to believe in God before I could convince him a sin was worth avoiding, right? He knows how I feel and the Catholic Church and Objectivism and he doesnt care. As far as another Catholic telling me the condition of my salvation I would be a little insulted. What gives them the right to determine my salvation? That is not their job. I would believe it more if a priest told me or it was written into Canon law or something. The best I can do is be an example to him of "What nice people those Catholics are!"

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I have one friend who is a lesbian (with a girlfriend) and another friend who has never said anything to me about her sexuality, but whom I suspect (and with good reason) of being physically attracted to me.

The first friend has asked to talk to me about Catholic ethics and sexuality before. An atheist herself, she is interested in spirituality and curious about my beliefs. She told me that she has considered living a celibate lifestyle in order to get to know herself better, and was surprised and pleased to discover that Catholicism doesn't present celibacy as 'a lesser option' for sinful people who aren't good enough to get married. (She had got that idea from the distorted media coverage about gay adoption in the British press.) I talk to her about these things whenever she raises them and readily answer her questions. Once I invited her on a retreat, but she was a bit nervous about coming.

More importantly, I just behave with her as I would behave with any of my other friends. I don't think "Lesbian!" whenever I look at her - her sexuality doesn't dominate our friendship. I pray that she can find Christ in my example and will gradually open up to the possibility of being Christian herself. I have the same prayer for all of my non-Christian friends, no matter what their sexuality.

[quote name='Spamity Calamity' post='1444638' date='Jan 11 2008, 09:25 PM']I'd have to get him to believe in God before I could convince him a sin was worth avoiding, right? He knows how I feel and the Catholic Church and Objectivism and he doesnt care.[/quote]

If he believed in God, he would be so absorbed and animated by his newfound faith that he would not need convincing about sin - he would just want to go deeper into his new life with God, and sin would lose its glamour. That's the case with all of us. We still commit sins, but they don't taste good now that we know something better.

You will never get him to believe in God. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. Keep him in your prayers, surrender your control to God, and wait peacefully.

[BG45]

Three or four friends, a good number of lesbians in the department.

[soccer girl =D]

No, I don't. Do you feel weird hanging out with gays/lesbians if your straight?

I've never had to before, so I wouldn't know.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='"Kyrie eleison' post='1444617' date='Jan 11 2008, 07:53 PM']I was told by another Catholic that my salvation is in question if I don't attempt to evangelize those that I come in contact with who are living in this life style. I will be held accountable.[/quote]

This is something that I don't understand. Are you also to be held accountable for not specifically admonishing liars, thieves, strangers who take God's name in vain in your hearing, people whom you see fare-dodging on the train, teenage vandals, or people who deliberately drop litter in the street? Why is it just sexual sin that warrants our special attention? Are we also to go out of our way to speak to heterosexual couples who are cohabiting, or are we to reserve our attentions for gay people alone?

It's not always possible to be vocal about sin. There is too much to talk about. It's important to tailor your evangelistic approach to the person and the situation, allowing yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit. I agree with Spamity that it's a bit presumptuous of someone to claim that your salvation is in jeopardy if you don't do XYZ.

Edited January 11, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[BG45]

[quote name='soccer girl =D' post='1444660' date='Jan 11 2008, 05:28 PM']No, I don't. Do you feel weird hanging out with gays/lesbians if your straight?

I've never had to before, so I wouldn't know.[/quote]

Not really, because most of the time, their sexuality doesn't come in to play, as it were. Half the people in a group project I did once were gay, oh well, they did their work, the other people (including me) did theirs.

Besides, you could have been around someone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual and "in the closet" about it. *shrugs* I know in Middle School we had at least one flaming gay guy who idolized the Pink Ranger, and tried to peep at everyone else in the showers...

[MissyP89]

A dear friend of mine is flaming. After my reversion, I did what I had to and told him what I thought...we exchanged harsh words. Now, spirituality doesn't play a part in our friendship at all. His family took it awfully when he came out...mother forced him to go to Confession, and now forces him to Church every week. It only makes him more bitter in what he feels is a culture that will never accept him.

I also have a few friends who are bisexual.

[Vincent Vega]

My Aunt is a lesbian. She was raised Catholic, so she knows how the Church feels. I don't know her religious stance, but I love her just the same anyway.

["Kyrie eleison"]

Thank you all for your repsonses. I was starting to feel like I needed to go and evangalize all the gays and lesbians that I come across, which is alot, since I am in the fashion industry. It has been weighing heavy on my mind and then a Catholic friend had mentioned to me that my salvation was on the block if I did attempt to evangalize, it was all starting to make me feel guilty.

I have now put things in perspective.

I actually have fun with the gays in my field. They are fun and we really get along. My cousin is a blast to be around and she is very thoughtful, kind and very generous.

["Kyrie eleison"]

[quote]Why is it just sexual sin that warrants our special attention? Are we also to go out of our way to speak to heterosexual couples who are cohabiting, or are we to reserve our attentions for gay people alone?[/quote]

This is a good point. Why do we single out gays... as if they are COMITTING the MOST GREIVIOUS ACT. Fornicating is fornicating regardless of your sexual preference.

[Veritas]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1444662' date='Jan 11 2008, 04:31 PM']This is something that I don't understand. Are you also to be held accountable for not specifically admonishing liars, thieves, strangers who take God's name in vain in your hearing, people whom you see fare-dodging on the train, teenage vandals, or people who deliberately drop litter in the street? Why is it just sexual sin that warrants our special attention? Are we also to go out of our way to speak to heterosexual couples who are cohabiting, or are we to reserve our attentions for gay people alone?

It's not always possible to be vocal about sin. There is too much to talk about. It's important to tailor your evangelistic approach to the person and the situation, allowing yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit. I agree with Spamity that it's a bit presumptuous of someone to claim that your salvation is in jeopardy if you don't do XYZ.[/quote]

+

I think the difference is if it is someone you know and not a stranger. Also, admonishing the sinner is a corporal work of mercy -it is good for us, and them- even though uncomfortable most of the time. If our friends are involved in any sort of habitual sin, whether it is lying, stealing, cheating, or homosexuality, we should gently and lovingly express our concern, always presenting the fact that there are other options out there -that is the loving thing to do. The key is to be prudent about it and gentle.

["Kyrie eleison"]

[quote]Also, admonishing the sinner is a corporal work of mercy -it is good for us, and them- even though uncomfortable most of the time.[/quote]

Veritas,

I guess if I am honest with myself, I can say I feel hypocritical admonishing my cousin and gay friends for their lifestyle, as I too am a sinner, and far from perfect.