Modesty For Men

[Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1314591091' post='2296731']
Actually I personally do know a guy who dresses in suit coat and tie all the time when he went to school. I never seen him wearing jeans at all. He only wore khaki slacks with a polo shirt on casual days. And btw he was cute and we were married for like 30 minutes on stage




[/quote]

......I'm in grad school and all I wear are nice slacks, dress shoes, and a button down every day (though I like to roll up the sleeves to make it a bit more casual). On sunday's I dress it up a bit and put on my charcoal three piece suit. Dressing this way though does make me feel more like and help me act more like a mature man.

Edited August 29, 2011 by Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

[Papist]

[quote name='Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam' timestamp='1314339489' post='2295121']
As I have been told by several men, modesty for men is actually quite opposite of women and has very little to do with clothing. I mean, yes one should always strive to dress appropriately, but generally guys aren't trying to flaunt their bodies and women, I am told, aren't as visual as men. Guys are immodest in another way. Now don't take me out of context but, a guy can be immodest when he spends a large amount of time with a woman he is not friends with. If there is an established relationship or solid friendship one can be supportive yes; however, constantly being emotionally supportive for a woman, talking to her about things that are very close to her heart (especially events that have hurt her), and even praying with her about them can be very immodest if one does not intend to seek a relationship with her. Such events, while they should not be shied away from lest you hurt the other person, should be used as an opportunity to push the other person towards the proper support. The sharing of these events do create a natural bond between people especially if one is consistently an emotional support and help and often shares things about themselves to the other person who has been having trouble. For guys, this can be seen as just being a good friend and helping them through a tough time, but for women, they often see something more. Guys can be immodest emotionally in this way.
[/quote]
This is true. My wife is on a mommy forum, which like here, many topics come up. She has told me that many on there have said they would prefer their husband to have a physical/sexual affair over an emotional affair. Before this, I had no idea what an emotional affair was. Based on what an emotional affair is, apparently, I had some affairs with my brothers.

[ceciliatherese]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1314471150' post='2295917']
There's a reason porn is more associated with men and romance novels women. Guys like to see; women want a story. What turns us on is a bit different.

Not saying that women don't, errr, appreciate looking at a man's body. It's just not quite the same mechanism.

In this fallen world, the goal is to avoid lusting after people, viewing them as objects to be used for our pleasure. That's something both women and men could afford to work on.

Women dress 'sexy' because it gets them attention and makes them feel good about themselves. Guys might have similar motivations to dress up, but I don't really see men wanting to flaunt what they've got in quite the same way. They might call attention to their height or physique, but they don't really walk around in revealing outfits.

I mean, in normal situations. I am not referring to what might be deemed 'appropriate' or normal attire at a gay nightclub.
[/quote]
I Never understood people who thought that way... I mean, maybe it's more of a problem for high school and college aged girls? ALL my female friends (16-19 or so) say that they have problems with guys being shirtless, wearing low pantaloons, tight clothing, (especially if they're all ripped and stuff), I mean when I hear stuff like this I feel weird that I get turned on by guys. I mean, BOTH genders have sex drives, right? O.o I guess I think it's just a bit dangerous to generalize, i.e. all guys get turned on by visuals, all girls get turned on by emotional connections. It varies a LOT just by the person, environment in which they grow up, etc. etc. etc.

[Lizzy]

Okay, bear with me here as I lay this out:

Modesty by definition is reserve or propriety. The goal of modesty is to eliminate distractions that distance others from God. And we try to eliminate those distractions out of respect for others' souls and to glorify God.

We tend to only discuss this in the context of sex...ie. women should cover up so men aren't distracted by impure thoughts. But many things other than impure thoughts can distract one from holy pursuits or distance one from God.

If a man stares at a woman, catcalls, or otherwise harasses her, he is acting immodestly. Catcalls have never tempted me to impure thoughts, but they do certainly distract me from more productive thoughts. Any moment I spend thinking about how best to avoid harassment or assault is a moment not spent in prayer or doing good works.

Therefore, a man who comments lewdly on a woman's cleavage is just as immodest as a woman who isn't wearing enough clothing because he is acting without propriety and, by distracting her, distancing her from God.

So to answer in a really round-about way, if you want to be a modest man: Be polite. Don't harass. Don't stare. Just be respectful.

Make sense?

[Theresita Nerita]

[quote name='Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam' timestamp='1314601648' post='2296805']

......I'm in grad school and all I wear are nice slacks, dress shoes, and a button down every day (though I like to roll up the sleeves to make it a bit more casual). On sunday's I dress it up a bit and put on my charcoal three piece suit. Dressing this way though does make me feel more like and help me act more like a mature man.
[/quote]

that was an immodest post for some of us girls who struggle with three-piece-suit-attraction. keep it to yourself dude.

[rachael]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1314505236' post='2296201']
if y'all don't start being nice, i am posting a picture of me in my g-string.
[/quote]
i think i hear shea screaming

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1314506131' post='2296218']
if that isn't clear enuff....i think what vee is trying to say is ...

i think i would have said "tmi" too if some guy came on saying his huge penis caused his girlfriend lust problems, even though he wore baggy pantaloons...and when he sat a certain way, she could kinda see it...

you see how that doesn't seem to be a good thing to say in a modesty thread?

i mean, this thread was caused by a guy talking about his struggle with impure thoughts... just sayin'
[/quote]girls have boobs and a vagina and guys have a penis. shocker.

[quote name='jaime (the artist formerly known as hot stuff)' timestamp='1314507154' post='2296232']
This thread got weird.


I'm a guy and Rizz did not turn me on with her post. I actually felt bad for her.
[/quote]
i'm very mad at you.

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1314617294' post='2296825']
This is true. My wife is on a mommy forum, which like here, many topics come up. She has told me that many on there have said they would prefer their husband to have a physical/sexual affair over an emotional affair. Before this, I had no idea what an emotional affair was. Based on what an emotional affair is, apparently, I had some affairs with my brothers.
[/quote]
I had an ex who had an emotional affair. It was way worse than a physical one.

[ardillacid]

In summary, women need to dress much more modestly

[Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam]

[quote name='ardillacid' timestamp='1314721403' post='2297530']
In summary, women and men need to be modest and respectful.
[/quote]

Fixed it for you

Edited August 30, 2011 by Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

[Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam]

[quote name='Theresita Nerita' timestamp='1314666567' post='2297193']

that was an immodest post for some of us girls who struggle with three-piece-suit-attraction. keep it to yourself dude.
[/quote]

Sorry Theresita. Would it be helpful if I said I never put my hands in my pockets, don't have an accent, and am an all around terrible and emotionless person?

[tinytherese]

What's an emotional affair?

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='ardillacid' timestamp='1314721403' post='2297530']
In summary, women need to dress much more modestly
[/quote]

And dudes need blinders.

[BG45]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1314740049' post='2297621']
What's an emotional affair?
[/quote]

Basically, the way it was explained to me when there was a scandal about one in my Baptist church between two worship team leaders who were married to other people, is when a dating/married couple has a member that spends an inordinate amount of time with a member of the opposite sex and becomes closer to that member of the opposite sex than the person they profess to love. Sometimes this even leads to one person lying to a partner or spouse about the time spent with the friend of the opposite gender.

[Theresita Nerita]

[quote name='Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam' timestamp='1314722574' post='2297533']

Sorry Theresita. Would it be helpful if I said I never put my hands in my pockets, don't have an accent, and am an all around terrible and emotionless person?
[/quote]

Now you're getting the hang of it.

[vee]

[b] mod·est[/b]
   [mod-ist] [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html"][img]http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif[/img][/url] [url=""]Show IPA[/url]
[color=#333333]adjective[/color]
1.
[color=#333333]having[/color] [color=#333333]or[/color] showing a moderate or humble [color=#333333]estimate[/color] [color=#333333]of[/color] one's merits, importance, etc.; free [color=#333333]from[/color] [color=#333333]vanity,[/color] egotism, boastfulness, or great [color=#333333]pretensions.[/color]
2.
[color=#333333]free[/color] from [color=#333333]ostentation[/color] or showy extravagance: a [color=#333333]modest[/color] [color=#333333]house.[/color]
3.
[color=#333333]having[/color] or [color=#333333]showing[/color] [color=#333333]regard[/color] [color=#333333]for[/color] the decencies of [color=#333333]behavior,[/color] [color=#333333]speech,[/color] [color=#333333]dress,[/color] [color=#333333]etc.;[/color] decent: a modest neckline on a [color=#333333]dress.[/color]
4.
limited or moderate in [color=#333333]amount,[/color] extent, etc.: a modest [color=#333333]increase[/color] in [color=#333333]salary.[/color]

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1314750847' post='2297751']
[b] mod·est[/b]
   [mod-ist] [url="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html"][img]http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif[/img][/url] Show IPA
[color=#333333]adjective[/color]
1.
[color=#333333]having[/color] [color=#333333]or[/color] showing a moderate or humble [color=#333333]estimate[/color] [color=#333333]of[/color] one's merits, importance, etc.; free [color=#333333]from[/color] [color=#333333]vanity,[/color] egotism, boastfulness, or great [color=#333333]pretensions.[/color]
2.
[color=#333333]free[/color] from [color=#333333]ostentation[/color] or showy extravagance: a [color=#333333]modest[/color] [color=#333333]house.[/color]
3.
[color=#333333]having[/color] or [color=#333333]showing[/color] [color=#333333]regard[/color] [color=#333333]for[/color] the decencies of [color=#333333]behavior,[/color] [color=#333333]speech,[/color] [color=#333333]dress,[/color] [color=#333333]etc.;[/color] decent: a modest neckline on a [color=#333333]dress.[/color]
4.
limited or moderate in [color=#333333]amount,[/color] extent, etc.[b]: a modest [color=#333333]increase[/color] in [color=#333333]salary.[/color][/b]
[/quote]
I'll take #4, thanks.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' timestamp='1314753173' post='2297792']
I'll take #4, thanks.
[/quote]


by that definition, I could walk around in daisy dukes and a bikini top and call it a "modest" amount of clothing.

[ardillacid]

In summary, the worlds problems would cease to exist if women could just cover up some skin

[Lil Red]

[quote name='ardillacid' timestamp='1314755053' post='2297817']
In summary, the worlds problems would cease to exist if women could just cover up some skin
[/quote]
yup. cuz there's no problems with rape or sexual assault in places where women have to wear the burqa, abaya, niqab, hijab, etc.

[faithcecelia]

We could all start wearing these

[img]http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k216/ruthbale/main_main.jpg[/img]


They are unisex, unflattering to everyone, can cover your whole body exept some of the face, and the placement of the zipz would allow each person a few moments to pull themselves together and briefly pray to lose the unchaste thoughts.

Actually they are v comfy too, I have a yellow one.

Edited August 31, 2011 by faithcecelia

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1314753736' post='2297803']


by that definition, I could walk around in daisy dukes and a bikini top and call it a "modest" amount of clothing.
[/quote]



i got two dogs and guess what their names are? Daisy and Duke!!! hahhhaa

Edited August 31, 2011 by Lil'Monster