tinytherese Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 St. Anne, St. Anne, find me a man as fast as you can.
nleyetn Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1322715424' post='2343088'] St. Anne, St. Anne, find me a man as fast as you can. [/quote] That reminds me of the prayer I learned as a kid for St. Anthony. [i]"St. Anthony, St. Anthony, look around look around, something is lost and must be found." ([/i]I'm not sure if that's a common one among other people or not). Somebody told me that he can help people in finding their spouse. I should probably seek help from him for myself.
ContemporaryCaflicCrusader Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1322635596' post='2342575'] Ever try a novena? You got St. Raphael, St. Joseph, St. Anne, St. Philomena, St. Andrew, Our Lady, and probably others. I did a novena to St. Raphael in September, and although I didn't start dating anyone on the 9th day, God really poured out the graces He willed for me at the time and it gave me the peace I needed in staying single. Either way, the novena ended beautifully and brought a lot of peace and knowledge of God's Will. Your husband's out there (provided you ARE called to married life) and he can use your prayers now more than anything. The power of prayer for your spouse is very powerful. Good luck! [/quote] I've been praying the St. Rapheal's novena to find her lots longer than since September. Good idea though I know ppl it's worked for... just not me yet.
AudreyGrace Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Also- it helps to not look at guys as "potential future husbands", but instead as brothers in Christ. When we see a guy, our first reaction shouldn't be something like, "he's so cute oh my gosh i want him to want to be my boyfriend if he's taken i'll die, why am i single? i hate my life, men need to step up to the plate already, etc. etc. etc." Instead, we should look at guys as our brothers in Christ and do whatever we can to lead them closer to God firstly in a non-intimate way. Us girls complain that guys need to affirm our womanhood, compliment us, pursue us, and whatever else, but it goes both ways. We have to affirm them in their manhood- and that means praying for them that they become the [u]men [/u]God wants them to be.
PennyLane Posted December 3, 2011 Author Posted December 3, 2011 Thank you all for the prayers and words of encouragement. If a man discerns appropriate in the seminary is one thing, but being afraid to commit to a vocation (or anything) is another I'll keep on truckin - I was having a down moment last week. Moments like those motivate me to attend the young adult groups, go to adoration, etc. In other news, I LOVE BEING CATHOLIC. yay.
LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Jackie Francois is a great speaker that i have to privelege of hearing at a steubenville conference this past summer. She has an amesome youtube channel where I found this video. She is very relatable and accurate in how to deal with the ache of singlehood. Hope it helps! [url="http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY"]http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY[/url]
Guest hermanita Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 You will know... and my prayers while you go on to whatever comes next .
got2luvjc Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 [quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1322895741' post='2344000'] Also- it helps to not look at guys as "potential future husbands", but instead as brothers in Christ. When we see a guy, our first reaction shouldn't be something like, "he's so cute oh my gosh i want him to want to be my boyfriend if he's taken i'll die, why am i single? i hate my life, men need to step up to the plate already, etc. etc. etc." Instead, we should look at guys as our brothers in Christ and do whatever we can to lead them closer to God firstly in a non-intimate way. Us girls complain that guys need to affirm our womanhood, compliment us, pursue us, and whatever else, but it goes both ways. We have to affirm them in their manhood- and that means praying for them that they become the [u]men [/u]God wants them to be. [/quote] couldn't have said it better myself.
Norseman82 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) [quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1322943067' post='2344123'] Jackie Francois is a great speaker that i have to privelege of hearing at a steubenville conference this past summer. She has an amesome youtube channel where I found this video. She is very relatable and accurate in how to deal with the ache of singlehood. Hope it helps! [url="http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY"]http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY[/url] [/quote] She ignores the facts that God created marriage because He said that "it is not good for the man to be alone" and that St. Paul, in the very same chapter in which he stated that the unmarried can devote more effort to the Lord than the married, also stated that to avoid immoralty, everyone should have their own spouse, as well as CCC 1603 which states that the vocation to marriage is written into our very nature by God Himself. It's unfortunate that these days, singles "ministry" in the Catholic Church is either dominated by bitter divorced women (one Catholic singles event I attended years ago could have been a commercial for extra strength Midol) and/or by people who have fallen for the lesbian/feminazi/career woman agenda (the whole "you don't need a spouse/children to be fulfilled" line, as well as others that are anti-biblical). It goes to kill the male drive to pursue, or many males have to seek wives outside the Church or wiith unfaithful Catholic women, with risky/disastrous results in that they may fall away from the Church. I think that the best comment on You Tube for that video was the following: [quote] A powerful verse in Genesis comes to mind about leaving our parents and uniting with the opposite sex and becoming one flesh. Unless of course you're lucky enough to answer an authentic call to the religious life. As single people, let's be aware of selfishness and ego/pride that may prevent us from intimacy and union with another through marriage.[/quote] Edited December 4, 2011 by Norseman82
Norseman82 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 [quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1322895741' post='2344000'] Also- it helps to not look at guys as "potential future husbands", but instead as brothers in Christ. When we see a guy, our first reaction shouldn't be something like, "he's so cute oh my gosh i want him to want to be my boyfriend if he's taken i'll die, why am i single? i hate my life, men need to step up to the plate already, etc. etc. etc." Instead, we should look at guys as our brothers in Christ and do whatever we can to lead them closer to God firstly in a non-intimate way. Us girls complain that guys need to affirm our womanhood, compliment us, pursue us, and whatever else, but it goes both ways. We have to affirm them in their manhood- and that means praying for them that they become the [u]men [/u]God wants them to be. [/quote] And that is how people get stuck in the "friends zone".
Basilisa Marie Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) First, the Hebrew in Genesis doesn't translate to "The Man" but "man" as in "gender neutral word for human." [quote name='Norseman82' timestamp='1323020865' post='2344379'] It's unfortunate that these days, singles "ministry" in the Catholic Church is either dominated by bitter divorced women (one Catholic singles event I attended years ago could have been a commercial for extra strength Midol) and/or by people who have fallen for the lesbian/feminazi/career woman agenda (the whole "you don't need a spouse/children to be fulfilled" line, as well as others that are anti-biblical). It goes to kill the male drive to pursue, or many males have to seek wives outside the Church or wiith unfaithful Catholic women, with risky/disastrous results in that they may fall away from the Church. [/quote] Second, I find the above quote to be offensive and extremely misogynistic, and has absolutely no place in Catholic theology. Edited December 4, 2011 by Basilisa Marie
PennyLane Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 [quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1322943067' post='2344123'] Jackie Francois is a great speaker that i have to privelege of hearing at a steubenville conference this past summer. She has an amesome youtube channel where I found this video. She is very relatable and accurate in how to deal with the ache of singlehood. Hope it helps! [url="http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY"]http://youtu.be/myIfGdNt1AY[/url] [/quote] Thank you!
AudreyGrace Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 [quote name='Norseman82' timestamp='1323020997' post='2344381'] And that is how people get stuck in the "friends zone". [/quote] You can affirm a man without making it seem like you're his sister. A real man would notice that a real woman makes him desire to be more of a man of God. There are ways to stay out of the friend zone, but neglecting assuring a man in his holy masculinity is not the way, nor does it seem to agree with the Theology of the Body that JP2 set forth.
Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1323027005' post='2344442'] First, the Hebrew in Genesis doesn't translate to "The Man" but "man" as in "gender neutral word for human." [/quote] However you translate it, the point is that Ms. Francois is in error for the reasons I have stated above. With the exception of those who have been called to celibacy, we were not built to be alone, but rather to be married - yes, in communion not just with God, but with a spouse. People should not be made to feel ashamed for seeking marriage. [quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1323027005' post='2344442'] Second, I find the above quote to be offensive and extremely misogynistic, and has absolutely no place in Catholic theology. [/quote] But it is historically accurate. When did this whole "culture of singleness" explode? The late 1960s through the 1970s (just check the studies that show how the average age at which people get married has increased since 1960), which coincided with two important events/trends: 1) The rise of contraception (due partly to the advent of the birth control pill, and also due partly to the Griswold v. Connecticut case in the US Supreme Court which struck down laws banning contraceptives) 2) The women's (aka "feminist") movement, which included anti-male/anti-family agenda points, putting career ahead of family (and if they wanted to enjoy the unitive aspect of sex without the procreative, well, how convenient it was that all these contraceptives came along, eh?) And what is so offensive about traditional gender roles? Edited December 5, 2011 by Norseman82
Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 [quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1323032602' post='2344506'] You can affirm a man without making it seem like you're his sister. A real man would notice that a real woman makes him desire to be more of a man of God. There are ways to stay out of the friend zone, but neglecting assuring a man in his holy masculinity is not the way, nor does it seem to agree with the Theology of the Body that JP2 set forth. [/quote] I think I quoted too much. My reply was to the first sentence, which asserted that one should not look at someone as a potential future spouse.
FaithAndReason21 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Well Miss Pennylane, I'm sorry you consider me a bullet to be dodged! I'm sure there is some fine lady out there who would appreciate me for who I am and for the love I try to give. One thing you can't accuse me of is lack of commitment, because as you know you needn't be single; that's your choice. Happy Feast Day, by the way! Still praying for reconcilliation... P.S. I used to be more active on phatmass and know some of ya out there, my old screenname was a guest account, FockeWulf!
XIX Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='Norseman82' timestamp='1323020997' post='2344381'] And that is how people get stuck in the "friends zone". [/quote] It's tricky, cause you don't want to come off as desperate/clingy, either.
Norseman82 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) [quote name='PennyLane' timestamp='1322318996' post='2340735'] Mostly venting and prayer-seeking... I struggle being single... I had a Catholic relationship that ended about 8 months ago (dodged a bullet) and since that point I have been single. I go on these Catholic dating websites and I either find guys that are "cafeteria Catholics" or guys that are have just left the seminary or are currently committed to discerning the priesthood. I'm active in the young adult groups at my parish, but it seems that all the girls are shopping... Don't get me wrong, I don't want to force anything that isn't there and I am open to God's will, it's just so frustrating!!! /sigh [/quote] [quote name='FaithAndReason21' timestamp='1323399637' post='2347705'] Well Miss Pennylane, I'm sorry you consider me a bullet to be dodged! I'm sure there is some fine lady out there who would appreciate me for who I am and for the love I try to give. One thing you can't accuse me of is lack of commitment, because as you know you needn't be single; that's your choice. Happy Feast Day, by the way! Still praying for reconcilliation... P.S. I used to be more active on phatmass and know some of ya out there, my old screenname was a guest account,[/quote] Edited December 9, 2011 by Norseman82
Norseman82 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='XIX' timestamp='1323411634' post='2347826'] It's tricky, cause you don't want to come off as desperate/clingy, either. [/quote] At the same time, people should not be demonized for being honest about the fact that they are seeking a spouse. In fact, at the NCSC, it was discussed that when you ask a girl out, specify that it is a date so your intentions are established upfront (of course, the audience was post-college age adults).
missionseeker Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='Norseman82' timestamp='1323058534' post='2344728'] However you translate it, the point is that Ms. Francois is in error for the reasons I have stated above. With the exception of those who have been called to celibacy, we were not built to be alone, but rather to be married - yes, in communion not just with God, but with a spouse. People should not be made to feel ashamed for seeking marriage. And what is so offensive about traditional gender roles? [/quote] nothing at all. It's the chauvinism behind it that is offensive. [quote name='FaithAndReason21' timestamp='1323399637' post='2347705'] P.S. I used to be more active on phatmass and know some of ya out there, my old screenname was a guest account, FockeWulf! [/quote] I remember you! WB
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