i<3LSOP Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Hi Sr.Marie! I was wondering, what do orders that wear veils do about earring holes? The order I'm thinking of shows a tiny bit of their ear right were earrings go and I was wondering why you can't see any marks and such?
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1323499990' post='2348481'] Dear Sister Marie, Have you heard of people crossing oceans to fulfill their religious vocation? I feel drawn to the Benedictines, but unfortunately the priory in Canada (Quebec) is not as strong as it used to be. [/quote] I have heard of people crossing oceans but I can't say I know many religious here who are from other countries and are not in international communities. I certainly think it is good to follow wherever God is leading. I'm not sure what you mean about the priory not being as strong as it used to be but I would caution against assessing the strength of a community with human measures; they could be rich in graces you know nothing about. Or their weakness could be the place God has called you to allow His strength to be revealed and your sanctification to be worked out.
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1323525280' post='2348539'] I was wondering, what do orders that wear veils do about earring holes? The order I'm thinking of shows a tiny bit of their ear right were earrings go and I was wondering why you can't see any marks and such? [/quote] Silly Putty... it is wonderful at covering earring holes. HA - actually, my veil also shows some lobe when it falls back a little and I had my ears pierced before I was in religious life. I think the [i]general rule[/i] in communities as far as piercings/tattoos that had been previously procured are concerned is that there is no jewelry in the piercings and the tattoos aren't visible (this usually isn't too much of a problem in a habit!) The sisters who you can't see holes probably never had them or they grew over.
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1323579929' post='2348970'] Sister Marie, Do you like chocolate? [/quote] LOVE IT! Wish I didn't. But this thread isn't about me... it's about a serious discussion on religious life... of which chocolate is a large part...
Lil'Monster Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1323580086' post='2348971'] LOVE IT! Wish I didn't. But this thread isn't about me... it's about a serious discussion on religious life... of which chocolate is a large part... [/quote] I love chocolate, too! Yes chocolate is very serious thing and if I couldnt have chocolate...I would die... Well this thread is about "Ask Sister Marie" I thought I could ask anything I wanted... Sister Marie, Do you like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 no jelly... just peanut butter and i love it! I especially like peanut butter and chocolate!
Lil'Monster Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1323580488' post='2348976'] no jelly... just peanut butter and i love it! I especially like peanut butter and chocolate! [/quote] yummy....I put chocolate syrup on my bread today....it was good Sister Marie, do u put chocolate syrup on bread?
Lilllabettt Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Dear Sister, I am always on the look out for what will be the key to my discernment, and so I've been thinking a lot about your posts, and my own situation. Maybe you have some more wisdom for me ... Before I became a teacher, I did not think much of anything about being alone. In fact, I rather liked it. I needed - and enjoyed being with - people, working with them, celebrating with them, etc. But I felt happpy and confident being "alone" in my interior world --- I'm not sure how to describe it. I did not feel like I had to share my interior "story" with others - I didn't need them to know me, from top to bottom. There was that private place inside I was happy to keep veiled. In the past 6 months that I havemoved and started teaching, I have found myself feeling so terribly lonely. I have friendships in my new location, but I am acutely aware of how alone I am in my interior world. I have my own "story" and my friends have theirs - we are connected but not in a permanent, through-and-through way, so that our stories become, in parts, the same. I have been wanting that and missing it- what I experienced as a member of a family. I have never been homesick in my life, but now I call my mother twice a day. I have been thinking hard about what it means. It has ocurred to me that what is missing for me is a spouse. That is what marriage is, the combining of two worlds into one. That is what makes a family, people whose worlds, whose stories are tied up together. I have serious doubts, however: I've never had much of an attraction to married life, until this period of pressure, fear and vulnerability in starting my career. And my previous experience has taught me the wrongness of going down a path with thoughts of what THIS will do for ME chiefly forefront. Where is my question for you ... its got to be somewhere! ... but I guess it isn't. I guess I'm just wondering what your thoughts are! Happy gaudete sunday!
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Dear Lillabett, Sometimes feeling lonely has nothing to do with how many people you are connected too. I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you are missing intimacy with another person or with yourself. It is quite possible that in this big transition and the pressure of everything you have been doing that there hasn't been a lot of time or energy for you to spend integrating your new experiences. One of Ignatius' rules for discernment is that one should not make any decisions when feeling desolation - or if not desolation - fear, tumult, lack of confidence... When we make big changes in our lives it sometimes happens that things; emotions, motives, needs, wants, desires, and neglects, all get jumbled up (that's the scientific term ) and it causes us to feel almost alienated from ourselves. We've been trying so hard to survive that we have to let go of those higher level emotional processes in order to survive. Then when it calms down we are left with a lot to sort through. Maybe your homesickness is really a homesickness for the comfort of your own self knowledge. Your parents were the first part of your identity as a child - if you feel insecure you might retreat to something you know is true about yourself. There's nothing wrong with this though unless you stay there which obviously you aren't. Also, if you don't feel [i]called [/i]to teaching, even if you do enjoy it, you could be experiencing some dissatisfaction between who you are and what you are doing. In short... maybe there is an answer in everything I'm saying...they are just a few ideas... maybe something will ring true for you.
Sarah147 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Sister Marie, may I ask how you came to such a great degree of wisdom, charity, compassion and common sense at such a young age? Was it maybe having a large family? Lots of job experiences?
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323634543' post='2349211'] Sister Marie, may I ask how you came to such a great degree of wisdom, charity, compassion and common sense at such a young age? Was it maybe having a large family? Lots of job experiences? [/quote] I really don't think I have a lot of any of those things but what I do have is experience receiving them from other people. I have a family that is completely crazy actually so I have had to do a lot of interior work on myself because of the things I experienced growing up. A lot of this work was done with the help and guidance of others who had/have much more wisdom, compassion, charity, and common sense than I probably ever will have. I am very grateful to God that, although it was incredibly difficult for me, I had the journey I did to where I am now. Most of the time when I comment on things I am doing some from similar experiences or thoughts as the person who wrote it. I truly believe that everything that happens to us is an opportunity for God's redemption to touch the world through the person. All of my baggage and stuff has been redeemed... it's still difficult to carry at times but by carrying it and opening it to others His redemption is active in the world. God desires not only our holiness but our wholeness as his beloved children. Holiness is impossible without wholeness. So I guess that's the short response, haha. I always talk too much!
savvy Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Sister Marie, I would agree with Joyful, I am totally in awe of your responses. If you don't mind me asking what community do you belong to?
Sarah147 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Sister Marie, how generally do Sisters deal with times of grief, losing loved ones, funerals, stress, anger, etc.? I mean, now I can talk to my close friends and my counsellor, but what about in a convent? Also, how do you advise discerning a possible call to religious life vs single vs marriage? How will I better know what God wills of me?
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 RE - Grief and Loss Different sisters handle things in different ways just like everyone else. There are people who withdraw for a time, people who don't want to be alone, people who seem fine and others who don't. First, in my experience one of the most beautiful things we do for one another as sisters is flood the funerals of our loved ones with our presence. The presence of so many sisters in the time of a sisters need speaks volumes more sometimes than any words can. We pray for their relatives out loud in our local convents and many times sisters send a letter or card after the loss just to show their care and concern. Sisters who live with someone who has had a death or loss in their family do as much as they can for the sister, knowing what she needs. A sister told me once that love in religious life for our sisters is expressed in anticipation of the other sisters needs. We know one another and living together we can see when someone is struggling and what they might need to get through it. One sister might seem lost and not know what to do with her time so someone will find something she enjoys for her to work on and be creative with. Another sister might need some time alone and the superior might tell her to take a few up-nights (to your bedroom and relax nights). It all depends on the person. We do all have sisters who are friends too who we can speak with more candidly about what we feel - just as long as we are not relying upon them to turn our sorrow into joy or our mourning into laughter. On top of that of course is the fact that we are blessed to live in the same house as the blessed sacrament. He is the ever present heart of our lives with one another and it is a great comfort to know that at any time day or night we can be with Him. RE - Stress and Anger Stress and anger are a little more difficult. Probably because most often they are caused by some force within our convents. There is nothing wrong with feeling stress and anger but their expression is a little tricky. For instance, I live with the principal of my school. If I'm angry with her about something that happened in school it isn't appropriate for me to express that at home because it is her home as well. I have to reflect upon that anger and come up with a way to appropriately communicate it to her and make peace with whatever results from that discussion. If I'm angry with her for something that happened at home in the convent - sister to sister - then it depends on what happened. I could talk to my superior if it warranted it. I could just go to her at home and tell her she upset me and why. If it's something else then depending on the subject I could share it with the sisters. It all depends a lot. As far as stress is concerned it depends. If you have taken on too much you may have to look and see what needs to be cut back in your life. If the stress is turning into anxiety then maybe you need something else. In either of these situations you don't want to disrupt the life of the community and the other sisters. Yes, they should offer you any support they can give you but at the same time they need you to be a part of the community as well. In all of these situations though there is the superior and your spiritual director to help you. You mentioned counselling so I don't know if you mean therapy by that but there are some sisters who are in therapy as well. Some communities may not readily do this but there are others who see nothing wrong with a sister getting the help she needs to work through an issue or a difficult time.
Sister Marie Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Discerning between marriage, single life, and religious life is an individual process. You need someone to guide you and walk with you to help you see whether what you are thinking and feeling are God's call to you or something else.
Lil'Monster Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I just love Sister Marie! She has avvesome answers and she is AVVESOME!!! This isnt a lie either! I am in her fan club...just kidding!
elizabeth09 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Sister, Can sisters go to the March-to-Life or not? elizabeth Edited December 14, 2011 by elizabeth09
savvy Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Dear Sister Marie, How do religious communities support themselves and look after their finances etc?
Sister Marie Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 [quote name='elizabeth09' timestamp='1323821499' post='2350723'] Sister, Can sisters go to the March-to-Life or not? elizabeth [/quote] I guess it depends on your community. I took the eighth graders last year.
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