So Yeah...

[Annie12]

I think if the opportunity comes around I might try dating. Just, lately I have been very drawn to the whole sacrament of matrimony. I've never realized it's beauty like I have recently. So, I'll be praying that God may send me my prince and I humbly ask you all to pray for me that this all goes well. I don't think I am [i]right now[/i] ready for dating but if I befriend a guy and end up falling in love, then I will consider dating. But currently I am still in the position of a bystander, watching life play out.So, I guess please pray! Also, Any advice?

[mantellata]

Just go with the flow.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1346888502' post='2479107']
Just go with the flow.
[/quote]

This. And pray!

Keeping you in prayer

[HopefulBride]

Praying for you Annie; discovering and embracing the beauty of matrimony is part of the discernment (to religious life and to marriage) one of my friends who is now married with 6 kids was set on marriage then she discovered religious life and seriously discerned that life. In being open to both vocations and recognizing the beauty of both you are allowing the Lord to guide you. I am very happy to see you discovering this and you are definitely going to be in my prayers as you navigate the journey to finding God's will for you.

[PhuturePriest]

One of the worst things I did vocationally was shutting the possibility of marriage down completely. As far as I was concerned it might as well not have existed, because I was going to be a Religious, dang it. Well, through the help of several crushes I realized that perhaps I was being an idiot, and I became very open towards it. Right now, I would be content either being a Priest in a Community or in the diocese, a simple Brother in a Community, or be a therapist that is married with a family. I believe I am called to Religious life, but I am open towards marriage, and I do not shun the idea anymore. You are in college, so if you meet a nice young Catholic guy who you think would be worth the time of dating, go for it. Sometimes this helps with discernment, sometimes it ends up doing the opposite effect. It is through thinking and praying about it and discussing it with your spiritual director that you must figure out if dating right now (Or ever so long as you are discerning Religious life) would help or hurt your discernment.

Edited September 6, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[Luigi]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1346888446' post='2479106']
I think if the opportunity comes around I might try dating. Just, lately I have been very drawn to the whole sacrament of matrimony. I've never realized it's beauty like I have recently. So, I'll be praying that God may [b]send me my prince [/b]and I humbly ask you all to pray for me that this all goes well. I don't think I am [i]right now[/i] ready for dating but [b]if I befriend a guy and end up falling in love, then I will consider dating[/b]. But currently I am still in the position of a bystander, watching life play out.So, I guess please pray! Also, Any advice?
[/quote]

1. Typically, one dates and [i]then[/i] falls in love, not the other way around.

2. Just remember that you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Prayers. And remember not to stress. Any guy you date should be your best friend before that.

[emmaberry]

Annie, from your posts it seems like the best option and safest option (safe as in being what you need right now) is to be completely open to marriage and religious life. I think this is expressed in your OP, but you have been vacillating between the two quite a bit. This is normal, but can be very stressful on the discerner. My advice is to take it easy and both pray and pursue friendships with guys without a set 'end' in mine. Do it because it is the present moment and not because it will help advance you to religious life or marriage.

I have been there, along with most discerners, and it is not easy. This uncertainty is, unfortunately for our patience, part of the normal discernment process. Still praying that God will show His holy will to you!

Edited September 6, 2012 by emmaberry

[Mary's Child]

Annie I will be praying for you. As others have said it is important to be open to whatever vocation God has in mind for you.
I am a little paranoid about this but if you do decide to date please be very careful about who you are dating and take it slowly. As someone who rushed into a relationship and ended up being abused and struggled with the traumatic experiences of this relationship for years believe me this will not be helpful. That is all Ill get off my soapbox now.

[Antigonos]

Annie and FP -- aren't you both approximately the same age? Do you by any chance live in the same general area? Perhaps the two of you ought to share a milkshake and go to a movie together?

The first VS shidduch! [match] Don't worry, as shadchan [matchmaker] I don't charge much -- only a small percentage of the bride's dowry

Edited September 6, 2012 by Antigonos

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1346904580' post='2479269']
Annie and FP -- aren't you both approximately the same age? Do you by any chance live in the same general area? Perhaps the two of you ought to share a milkshake and go to a movie together?

The first VS shidduch! [match] Don't worry, as shadchan [matchmaker] I don't charge much -- only a small percentage of the bride's dowry
[/quote]
I wish I could prop you!

[emmaberry]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1346904580' post='2479269']
Annie and FP -- aren't you both approximately the same age? Do you by any chance live in the same general area? Perhaps the two of you ought to share a milkshake and go to a movie together?

The first VS shidduch! [match] Don't worry, as shadchan [matchmaker] I don't charge much -- only a small percentage of the bride's dowry
[/quote]

GENIUS!


EDIT: Waaait, Annie is college-aged. FP is not. Continue discerning, pholks!

Edited September 6, 2012 by emmaberry

[BarbTherese]

Continuing prayers including for your intentions, Annie.

[Antigonos]

[quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1346910480' post='2479319']
GENIUS!


EDIT: Waaait, Annie is college-aged. FP is not. Continue discerning, pholks!
[/quote]

Nu? My husband is six years younger than myself. I admit that at 16, a year or two seems another epoch altogether, but as you age the gap becomes less and less.

Not to mention that, since women statistically seem to last about 8 years longer than men these days, if you want to die romantically in each other's arms, you almost HAVE to marry a younger man.

[AnneLine]

Antigonos, I love the idea... and it is the right one (finding someone who shares your values & interests... and then going on a date with that person) ... but too much age difference at those ages, I'm afraid for a date.... we don't want to get anyone in trouble! But a friendship... ah, that is fine.

I also married someone 4 years younger.... and dated someone 12 years older ....so you never know..... But the older guy was in my Secular Order group.... and the one I married I met on a silent retreat! So God sometimes does do the most interesting things!

Enjoy just being with people who share common ideas and values... the dating will happen if/when it is right.

Annie, If God is calling you to the convent, nothing on earth will keep you out.
If God is NOT calling you there, nothing on earth will get you there.
Serving God either way is a privilege, and being in the right place is.... the best way to serve God.

The more loving, kind and well rounded a person you are / can become, the better wife OR sister/nun you will make. So, just relax, trust God and focus on making friends.


BUT... Antigonos -- perhaps you can be our shadchan (matchmaker)!

Edited September 6, 2012 by AnneLine

[mantellata]

Official Shadchan

Antigonos needs a new tag!!

[Antigonos]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1346916967' post='2479336']
Antigonos, I love the idea... and it is the right one (finding someone who shares your values & interests... and then going on a date with that person) ... but too much age difference at those ages, I'm afraid for a date.... we don't want to get anyone in trouble! But a friendship... ah, that is fine.[/quote]

[i]There's a reason that one's "significant other" is called "bashert" [the destined one] in Yiddish. Finding the right one is not easy.[/i]

[quote]The more loving, kind and well rounded a person you are / can become, the better wife OR sister/nun you will make. [/quote]

[i]IMO, this ought to be engraved on a plaque in large letters for every potential VS-er to see every day. I'd only add priest/monk/friar to sister/nun as well. Some say that to live religious life one has to be superhuman; I'd say you have to be a super human* for either the vocation of marriage or religious life.[/i]

[i]*Something every mother learns very quickly, along with the necessity for 3 pairs of arms, like a Hindu idol.[/i]

Edited September 6, 2012 by Antigonos

[AnneLine]

[color=#0000FF][i]Some say that to live religious life one has to be superhuman; I'd say you have to be a super human for either the vocation of marriage or religious life.[/i][/color]

I'll prop that, Antigonos...... Super-sized prop if available

[Annie12]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1346904580' post='2479269']
Annie and FP -- aren't you both approximately the same age? Do you by any chance live in the same general area? Perhaps the two of you ought to share a milkshake and go to a movie together?

The first VS shidduch! [match] Don't worry, as shadchan [matchmaker] I don't charge much -- only a small percentage of the bride's dowry
[/quote]

Funny. Ha. He. Ha. He Ha. ........( )

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1346904580' post='2479269']
Annie and FP -- aren't you both approximately the same age? Do you by any chance live in the same general area? Perhaps the two of you ought to share a milkshake and go to a movie together?

The first VS shidduch! [match] Don't worry, as shadchan [matchmaker] I don't charge much -- only a small percentage of the bride's dowry
[/quote]

Bahaha. I am flattered, but sadly we are not in the same general area. I'm probably not worthy of her fine company anyway.