So Yeah...

[AnneLine]

[img]http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/s.jpeg[/img]


Clothes and hats do make a difference, Mon....

[url="http://snarkcriticpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/river-wild-meryl-streep.jpg"][img]http://snarkcriticpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/river-wild-meryl-streep-300x204.jpg[/img][/url]

Edited September 8, 2012 by AnneLine

[mantellata]

[color=#0000cd][i][font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Also I will only attract guys who like to hunt...I guess.....And if a guy doesn't like me for me....then he's not worth it. [/font][/i][/color]


[font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Great attitude! But props on the "I'm open to dating bit"... which is why I qualified it by saying don'[/font][font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]t go girly girl.[/font]

[font="Segoe UI, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"]Not saying loose the hat forever - just trying to let you know that you have great looks and your face isn't the problem as you indicated. Just as words convey intentions, clothes do as well. Camo tends to communicate - I'd be a great friend to hang out with on the weekend but not - I'm open to a long walk in the park and milkshakes at the DQ so I can enjoy your cute smile......[/font]

[font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I was trying / attempting to throw a genuine compliment out there while letting you know that you really could have a date, or two, or three if you wanted. (Without changing who you are)! [/font]

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1347086148' post='2480201']
Lil Mon, you are so right that you don't need to change for a guy-and if you do, then he is definitely not right for you! I think mantellata was not saying to change who you are or get rid of the camo-maybe just incorporate some more girly aspects into your wardrobe that say, "I am open to dating!"

Like I said, I don't think the point was to get rid of your hat. We all think, from your picture, that a nice cute girl like you should be getting plenty of offers for dates... but if you are not getting the offers now (and we know it's not because of how you look!), that implies that something [s]needs to change[/s] might be done a little differently. I personally think that you may need to chat with more RL guys, as you said you don't do much of this in an earlier post.
[/quote]

Umm I don't know what to say.....I know that mantellata didn't say to get rid of my camo hat........What girly aspects in my wardrobe will get guys to noticed that I am open to dating?

Like what?


Yeah I know......I just don't get out much.......I live out in the boomdocks....where weird things happen...like me


And I just don't go up to strangers and talked to them like they are my best friends......I am very shy........but after that....nah

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1347087448' post='2480208']
I think you posted a picture of you wearing something blue at one point that was really WOW.... would you change your avatar in honor of our Lady's Birthday on Sept 8? Huh? Maybe?

I agree with all that has been said - you want a guy who likes you in camo... but you may want to occasionally bait your hook with a different bait...
[/quote]

Oh yeah.....that's an old pic of me...like a couple of years ago. I don't know....I don't have anymore recently pics of me..I might......I just dont know.

What different bait?

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1347106027' post='2480225']
[color=#0000CD][i]Also I will only attract guys who like to hunt...I guess.....And if a guy doesn't like me for me....then he's not worth it. [/i][/color]


Great attitude! But props on the "I'm open to dating bit"... which is why I qualified it by saying don't go girly girl.

[font=Segoe UI, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Not saying loose the hat forever - just trying to let you know that you have great looks and your face isn't the problem as you indicated. Just as words convey intentions, clothes do as well. Camo tends to communicate - I'd be a great friend to hang out with on the weekend but not - I'm open to a long walk in the park and milkshakes at the DQ so I can enjoy your cute smile......[/font]

I was trying / attempting to throw a genuine compliment out there while letting you know that you really could have a date, or two, or three if you wanted. (Without changing who you are)!
[/quote]

I guess so..........and thank you for the compilment.

[emmaberry]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347162470' post='2480448']
Yeah I know......I just don't get out much.......I live out in the boomdocks....where weird things happen...like me


And I just don't go up to strangers and talked to them like they are my best friends......I am very shy........but after that....nah
[/quote]

I am a homebody and fairly shy as well, so my advice on these areas would do more harm than good!

[Lil'Monster]

okie dokie

[PhuturePriest]

The only way to fix being a homebody is to go out when you can. I understand being far away and busy, but go out to a parish group when you can, or go on a parish youth trip. Maybe even a diocesan one. You probably have more options than you realize, you must simply make the conscious decision to go out and meet people. Will you be awkward? Probably, as most people are awkward when first going out to meet people. But with practice you will get better, and I am sure you will be thankful that you did decide to start going to social groups eventually.

[emmaberry]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1347163232' post='2480463']
but go out to a parish group when you can, or go on a parish youth trip. [/quote]

*shivers*


Youth groups were the bane of my existence growing up... Granted, I wasn't Catholic most of that time, and in some really 'fishy' as we would say on PM Protestant churches. Contrary to everything I've experience concerning them, my Catholic college friends absolutely loved their youth groups and almost fainted dead away with happiness at the idea of getting to-get ready for it-[i]lead[/i] a youth group.

I kid, I kid.

While it goes against my grain, I have to admit that FP's parish youth group suggestion is a very good one.

Edited September 9, 2012 by emmaberry

[Lil'Monster]

Well I know there are a few problems like I live with my parents and I don't drive.........I don't have my driving license

Yep I am very weird



I am too old for the youth things unless they have a group for Young Adults......




I am not a kid anymore........I am 21

Edited September 9, 2012 by Lil'Monster

[Lil'Monster]

I hijacked this thread

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347164876' post='2480487']
Well I know there are a few problems like I live with my parents and I don't drive.........I don't have my driving license

Yep I am very weird



I am too old for the youth things unless they have a group for Young Adults......




I am not a kid anymore........I am 21
[/quote]

That doesn't have to stop you. There are young adult things, or you could maybe even volunteer to be a youth group leader, where you would become friends with other youth group leaders or girls that were near your age.

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347165747' post='2480494']
I hijacked this thread
[/quote]

That's not something weird on Phatmass. I'm not even sure if it's frowned upon since it happens so frequently, to be honest.

Edited September 9, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[mantellata]

Step 1: Get a drivers liscence.

Are you going to college presently?

Step 2: Get a job -- this will already put you in a place to meet people! AND put some change in your pocket.

Step 3: Visit a Macy's or Sears or similar department store (and I know this is going to kill you but call it an experiment) go to the Clinique counter. My skin is allergic to everything but Clinique products are hypoallergenic. The lovely lady in the white coat will give you a free makeover (and their ladies are all trained) if you let her know that you have never really worn makeup and need some help and advice. If nothing else it's [u]totally fun[/u] and you can take it off when you go home.

[Lil'Monster]

Step 1: I know.....I am working on it

I am not going to college......I have no idea what to do and it's too expensive...But many Catholics from my new parish go to the nearest and the best college in the world. There was many college or college aged people at Mass today.

Step 2: I have a part time job at a library......I work outside doing yardwork....I don't look the greatest while I am working outside either. And I don't get much hours either.

Step 3: Ummm the last time I wore makeup was over 3 years ago.....it was for prom. I think that's what ruined my skin....it is very dry and itchy. I don't really have the time to wear makeup.....Besides I don't need it to get guys to noticed me. I just need some stuff that will get rid of pimples (which I have but it makes my face drier) and get rid of my very dry skin. And I do like to touch my face.....I don't know... its a habit I guess.


And I do pluck my eyebrows....maybe not a whole lot because of my skin. Besides the best makeup which is natural is to smile.

[mantellata]

Ah dear - I hope you don't feel like I am picking on you! I just sensed your frustration and questions and wanted sincerely to help you out. Once again, not trying to change who you are -- that does very little in the quest to find out one's vocation.

If you are looking for a job that is perhaps a little more than simple yard work -- try looking at www.catholicjobs.com It is a great resource.

Also, while college is expensive, it is a wonderful investment. My suggestion however is rather than attempt to get a student loan for funds - see if you can take out a line of credit with perhaps your parents as co-signers. I was able to be debt free from 3 years of college education only months after I graduated. Basically I worked the summer before - used my funds on residence and tuition until they ran out, (and you can usually get "financed" at college as well - for tuition, so you can pay over a series of months instead of upfront) after my summer work money ran out I used my line of credit. This meant I only had to pay interest on the amount I took out at that time instead of a large principal like you do with a student loan. Then, at the end of the semester, I went back to work, paid off the line of credit, and then started earning money for the following school term. At the end of my college career, I only had 1 semester's worth of debt to pay off. AND I had amesome credit. (Which you need to eventually buy your own house).


Cheap make-up will certainly dry your skin out. If you are interested in such things, you want something that improves your skin while it's on and not something that dries it out. The kind of makeup you get from a pharmacy or a Walmart are [u]awful[/u] for someone with sensitive skin! You are 100% right!

Yes, if you are working outside the last thing you want on your face is something that is just going to sweat off. It's not about looking pretty on your job anyway. BUT you still look pretty - so once again - it's not the face that is scaring anyone off.

Just wanting to give you the tools to improve a situation you seem dissatisfied with. Hopefully (as stated before) this doesn't come off as my picking on you or trying to make you more "worldly".

Edited September 9, 2012 by mantellata

[Spem in alium]

Sorry to chime, but Lil'Mon, I just wanted to say that I can relate! I'll be 21 in just over 2 months, and what I'm experiencing is fairly similar to your description.

I've never dated and never really gotten to know guys as friends until I started uni. Before that, I knew no-one. All my friends were dating, which made me feel (a bit foolishly) like I was being pressured and that not having a boyfriend was a sign of something awful. I don't really consider myself attractive, and there are many who would agree with me, so that also made it hard during my adolescence.

But then I went to uni and started making more friends. And I realised that what matters more than a woman's physical appearance is her modesty, her confidence, her selflessness, her mission. If a woman is so fixated on how she looks, if she dresses to please others and does not spend time nurturing her inner beauty, she will be at a loss.

I learnt that the best thing I could do was focus on God and on loving Him. If I am called to marriage, I want it to be with someone who loves God more than he loves me. I want him to expect the same kind of love from me also. So I figured it was best to start now. I think this kind of love reveals a beauty that is much more alluring than physical attraction. My physical appearance lets me down (in some ways, a lot), so I try to nurture my heart so that it shows a deeper level of radiance, and I hope that if marriage is where I end up, I will find a guy who finds me beautiful.

Lil'Mon, you are beautiful. I can tell this not only from your avatar, but from the nature of your posts. You come across as kind and considerate, and in my book that's an instant mark of beauty. Show this kindness through your smile You need to be proactive in some ways (like encouraging yourself to meet people; I tried it and it was one of the best things I've done), but ultimately, pray and trust in the Lord. He has a plan for you, and it won't be thwarted

And Annie, entrust your life to God also. He knows where you will end up. Just put your faith in Him, and work to make friends with guys (and girls) who will enrich your life and your faith through their own witness. Even if you don't end up deepening your relationship with any of your guy friends, you will have gained something extraordinary and powerful - wonderful friends Friendship is one of life's greatest blessings, I believe.

[mantellata]

^^^ well put.