Writing Love Letters To Your Future Spouse

[inunionwithrome]

My mother and father wrote letters for three years to each other. I think it was before they had even met. And you know what? The have been married for 34 years in March!

[PhuturePriest]

You people are way too concerned about his letters. Y'all should put this in perspective and realize he probably won't ever be handing them over to anyone -- and if he does, it will probably be to a girl who won't be totally creeped out. Sometimes y'all are serious buzzkills. What happened to the whole "If you don't have something nice to say..." bit?

 

 

This. Exactly this. There is a difference between constructive criticism and acting like a donkey butt!
The way people are reacting, you would think he was going to give them to a girl on the first date while smiling creepily and telling her they were going to get married!
I personally would have thought it a bit strange if my husband did this, but its also not something that would be in line with who he is at all, but that is why we match well. I would think by the time FP gets married, the girl he is marrying will know him well enough to not be totally thrown off by this. And by that time, FP will know her well enough to have a reasonable idea of how this would be received, and make a final decision based on that. Its not like its set in stone that he has to give these letters to whomever he marries!

 

I thought I was being crazy for thinking the same thing. One person said something about it not working if I dated more than one girl? I think he/she missed the entire concept of it being given during the honeymoon, which means it would only be to one girl. Anyway, thank you. And yeah, it's not etched in stone. Anything is possible, perhaps in five years I'll be in the Marines and they will have manned me up so much that I think this is too girly for me to handle. Maybe the girl I end up marrying won't receive these letters the way they are intended to be received, so I won't give them to her. And maybe, just maybe, by the time we get married she'll know me well and I'll know her well and these letters won't be the end of the world. But hey, anything is possible. ;)

 

In all seriousness, FP, I couldn't care less whether you wrote these or not, it's not my business. But try not to get so upset when people get all whatever. Sometimes that's just Phatmass. I've been called emotionally manipulative, self-centered, and attention-seeking on here before. But hey, haters gonna hate and they don't know you, so try to just blow it off. You learn what to post and what not to post.

That's why I've started mostly posting snarky and lame stuff. It's just received better sometimes. ;)

 

You people are the greatest. All three of you. I will reward you by night stalking you all at your houses tonight.

 

But yeah, I didn't mean to get/seem to upset. This was just something I felt really strongly about and I had no idea why everyone was reacting the way they were. I honestly wasn't even as upset as it seems. It's hard to get me angry, but when I get kind of annoyed I try to show that I'm angry-ish through my words, and in doing so I usually overdo it. Sorry for overreacting and being a drama llama.

[XIX]

FP, go ahead. Sounds like you aren't doing it wrong.  Just keep in mind that you're going to change a whole lot in the next ten years. 

 

Even just reading my own blog posts from freshman year of college is embarrassing. :) Just as I suspect I am completely embarrassing to my future 30-year-old self. 

 

 

I think most of us (at least most young people) are fully aware that we were not all that bright five years ago.  Which is sobering, because it probably means we're still rather humiliating and naive right now.  It'll just take us five years to realize it. :)

[PhuturePriest]

You people are the greatest. All three of you. I will reward you by night stalking you all at your houses tonight.

 

This should say "not stalking" not "night stalking". But hey, what the heck. :hehe:

[Nihil Obstat]

I think most of us (at least most young people) are fully aware that we were not all that bright five years ago.  Which is sobering, because it probably means we're still rather humiliating and naive right now.  It'll just take us five years to realize it. :)

Worse, you may be on the downturn already and never know it. :|

[GeorgiiMichael]

I have officially emailed Jason Evert. We shall see what he says about this in four months...

 

You already know his answer, why'd you bother?

 

Anyway. I apologize for getting a bit heated, but the sniff test failed miserably with this idea, and I don't want you to inadvertently hurt yourself, FP. I've expressed my opinion as an older and more experienced man, if you don't wish to take my advice so be it.

 

Good luck and God keep you, FP.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

This should say "not stalking" not "night stalking". But hey, what the heck. :hehe:

 

Good, cause I was a little scared. :|
 

[Nihil Obstat]

I liked it more when it was night stalking.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

 

Edited February 7, 2013 by FutureCarmeliteClaire

[PhuturePriest]

 

 

Is it odd that these memes make me feel special? :P

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[Winchester]

You already know his answer, why'd you bother?
 
Anyway. I apologize for getting a bit heated, but the sniff test failed miserably with this idea, and I don't want you to inadvertently hurt yourself, FP. I've expressed my opinion as an older and more experienced man, if you don't wish to take my advice so be it.
 
Good luck and God keep you, FP.

Why this is such terrible advice:

Yes, it may appear smarmy, or weird to you. It looks smarmy, to me. But it's who FP is, right now. If he changes, fine. But if he doesn't, whomever he hooks up with is likely to think it's cool. Because there are people who are also women who will think this is awesome. They will like this stuff. They will completely dig it, and be happy. Remember my Nicholas Sparks advice? That's brilliant advice.

And what if he suppresses it? What if he acts cool? Well, he possibly attracts a chick who thinks this sort of stuff is dumb. But how long can he suppress this trait? One day, he'll act out. She will be totally freaked out, instead of charmed. And she will leave him. Divorce him. FP will end up divorced, and probably will lose a sizable portion of his property and likely whatever benefits package he has at his job. He will struggle financially, it will take a toll on his health. He will develop high blood pressure. He will have a stroke, leaving him partly paralyzed and mentally damaged. FP will end up in a personal care home, and will probably suffer abuse from the careless staff, eventually, he will go to an early grave, after spending untold years in half-witted misery.

Why would you wish such a fate on FP? What has he done to you to inspire you thus? Don't wish a short, mentally damaged, destitute life on FP.

Write the letters, FP.

[IcePrincessKRS]

 

rotfl

[PhuturePriest]

Why this is such terrible advice:

Yes, it may appear smarmy, or weird to you. It looks smarmy, to me. But it's who FP is, right now. If he changes, fine. But if he doesn't, whomever he hooks up with is likely to think it's cool. Because there are people who are also women who will think this is awesome. They will like this stuff. They will completely dig it, and be happy. Remember my Nicholas Sparks advice? That's brilliant advice.

And what if he suppresses it? What if he acts cool? Well, he possibly attracts a chick who thinks this sort of stuff is dumb. But how long can he suppress this trait? One day, he'll act out. She will be totally freaked out, instead of charmed. And she will leave him. Divorce him. FP will end up divorced, and probably will lose a sizable portion of his property and likely whatever benefits package he has at his job. He will struggle financially, it will take a toll on his health. He will develop high blood pressure. He will have a stroke, leaving him partly paralyzed and mentally damaged. FP will end up in a personal care home, and will probably suffer abuse from the careless staff, eventually, he will go to an early grave, after spending untold years in half-witted misery.

Why would you wish such a fate on FP? What has he done to you to inspire you thus? Don't wish a short, mentally damaged, destitute life on FP.

Write the letters, FP.

 

:notworthy:

 

But why smarmy?
 

[Winchester]

:notworthy:
 
But why smarmy?

Is what it is.

My judgement on all counts stands. Carry on.

[PhuturePriest]

Is what it is.

My judgement on all counts stands. Carry on.

 

Yes, sir.

[Norseman82]

I know. But usually when people disagree on this stuff they aren't being total jerk wads.

 

Maybe now you understand how Augusta felt by your hypocritical comment in the locked thread.

[Autumn Dusk]

I think the whole notion of needing to do something "impressive" is inherently self-seeking.  What happens if you marry, your wife dies, and you re-marry?  Does wife #2 get the letters?  Is she no less deserving of your love?

 

Why not just do what has been done for ions and write a journal?  You can still get all gushy about it.

 

To me, this kinda reeks of imaginary friend, even if you're not idealizing.

[PhuturePriest]

I think the whole notion of needing to do something "impressive" is inherently self-seeking.  What happens if you marry, your wife dies, and you re-marry?  Does wife #2 get the letters?  Is she no less deserving of your love?

 

Why not just do what has been done for ions and write a journal?  You can still get all gushy about it.

 

To me, this kinda reeks of imaginary friend, even if you're not idealizing.

 

Everyone keeps saying just write a journal. What is the difference? As someone told me, what I'm writing in there is pretty much the same thing as writing an entry into a journal, so I guess I'm already doing that.

 

And this has nothing to do with being impressive. Will it impress my wife? Maybe. But it's not about impressing.

Edited February 8, 2013 by FuturePriest387