What You Don't Know Can Hurt You

[arfink]

IcePrincessKRS is a long-time member, an ex-long-time moderator, and a dear friend. Look at her post.

My response to the poster you mentioned probably didn't do well to set a great stage for discussion. But I don't much care for ignorance or disrespect. Mixed together in one post and heaped on top of some ugly history and well, I am not surprised I said what I did, however distasteful.

You're new here so trust me on this: I wasn't setting up a place to rant about anything. If you don't want to trust that, fine by me.

 

You have told me, repeatedly, that I don't know anything about you. I am not really hip to the problems that gay people have. I asked a genuine question with no disrespect meant, because I can't read your mind and have no idea what you wanted to talk about. I understand you've disliked me for a long time, but it still was not warranted.

[Tony]

can we eat cheese and do facial masks?

[franciscanheart]

can we eat cheese and do facial masks?

Please! :)

[Lil Red]

can we eat cheese and do facial masks?

 

only if it's the good kind of cheese. with good wine. ;) 

[SilentJoy]

I hate good cheese. Good cheese is bad.

[WillT]

I prefer yogurt for my dairy intake.

[the171]

Let's have some y.ogurt too

[WillT]

Let's have some y.ogurt too

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[MissyP89]

Well, there goes that.

[Lilllabettt]

I've got one. although perhaps given the thread so far you may not be in a place where you can answer this question.

 

How would you advise religious people (catholics in particular, if you want) deal with prejudice from the gay community/allies? 

How do we approach dialog with people when their preconceived notion is that our perspective is grounded in disrespect?

 

How should religious individuals reach past intolerance and invite those in the majority to ask the minority "why." E.g.: why are you opposed to gay marriage? (as opposed to assuming it is based on hatred/fear of gay people.)

 

 

 

 

[Luigi]

My niece is marrying her girlfriend in Colorado this summer. I'm not going because of schedule conflicts, but even if I could go, I'd boycott. 

 

And no, it's not a Catholic wedding. 

[Anastasia13]

I love how you mentioned, "I did not just admit to lesbian sex. I did not just admit to a 'homosexual lifestyle'. I did not just admit to supporting any agenda held by all homosexual persons." Many Christians I've heard don't get that.

 

I was a little confused by your answer to Fink, so let me try to ask a clarifying question. Do you find that there is much difference in ignorance about things in general, among the Catholic communities, or at Phatmass? Do you find more need to raise awareness of the social aspects and meaning of being gay or about how we approach legal matters as a response to our faith?

[blazeingstar]

I third the question by Arf. 

 

I have know you for a while, not closely, but we've been on good terms.

 

I am glad that you are reiterating that it's ok to be homosexual and that you are obeying the rules of the Church which are especially cumbersome.   Some might even say "condemn" you to a life of loneliness.  Yet I see you as someone who is incredibly strong and has really great friendships with men and women.  I pray that those friendships will help carry you through as

 

I guess I am also curious about the need to "come out".  Because it seems these days with sports stars and movie stars it's just something popular to do.

 

That and I work in an extremely liberal workplace where Catholic values are put down.  I live my live very quielty so as to avoid scorn.  My co-workers drink to excess, have sex with multiple partners, live together before marriage, dump their kids at daycares to have extra days away from them, and support all sorts of crazy things.    I know I'm in the minority and I keep my mouth shut becuase I know what they say about "people like that".  In a prievious job in the same industry I ate lunch every day with a group for 2 years until they found out I listened to a conservative radio station in addition to NPR.  They stopped speaking to me.  So I guess I don't get why anyone would want to upset the apple cart so to speak.  I don't see any purpose in it....maybe I'm not "being me" in every situation, but is that really necessary so long as I'm not lying outright?

[CrossCuT]

[the171]

Are you kidding me?

[Kateri89]

I haven't been on Phatmass for very long but in the time I've been here I've seen plenty of disagreements between members which is fine but sometimes some people are just rude.  I'd also go so far as to say that I see a pattern in which particular PMers tend to be rude.  I'll leave it at that.

[blazeingstar]

I haven't been on Phatmass for very long but in the time I've been here I've seen plenty of disagreements between members which is fine but sometimes some people are just rude.  I'd also go so far as to say that I see a pattern in which particular PMers tend to be rude.  I'll leave it at that.

 

I've been blunt and haven't had the best tact, but in this I don't mean any rudness at all.  I don't think Arf did either.  When it comes to same-gender attraction the thing that most intersts me is,  "why tell?"  I am a very private person so maybe there's something I'm missing.

[CrossCuT]

Im all for gay rights, in fact ive been ridiculed on here a hnumber of times for it, whatever.
I dont see a point in this topic being so persoanlly centered to the point where its almost a chalenge "ask me things you homophobes!" And then proceed to flip a tit when someone does ask a question.

Not cool.


I understand being there to suport a friend going through an important part of her life, but that doesnt give her the right to be a bitch to people.

Edited February 24, 2014 by CrossCuT

[Aloysius]

meh, I didn't like arfink's reaction either.  it strikes me strongly of "why bother telling us, just keep it to yourself, because talking about it makes us uncomfortable"... maybe that's not the spirit it was intended in, but it strikes me that way and I can understand why Franciscan responded to it the way she did.  sure, I usually keep my own issues with sexuality to myself, but it's also nice to be able to talk about it with people too.  a long time ago when I was confused I came out as gay (or as "having SSA") here on phatmass, as I grew up I realized I was more bi I just hadn't realized people could really be both so I swung a pendulum from one side to the other thinking I had to be one or the other... a rather psychological unhealthy thing to do but maybe it's natural to do that for someone like me, I dunno.  just being honest.  I'm not seeking out attention here.

 

franny's a long time member sharing something personal about herself with the pham here... I remember I was received very well back when I did that, and I did have a lot of personally focused posts about that kind of thing, and I would've been annoyed to say the least if I had been responded to by a question like arfink's, even with his caveat that he didn't intend to be dismissive.  it's like when you say "no offense intended" and then say something offensive, you basically said "no dismissiveness intended" but really just asked a very dismissive question.  why bother making a thread about it?  because it's sort of a deep emotional part of her life and it's helpful to be able to talk about it.

 

so I'll just repeat in public what I said to you in private, Franny, in terms of your sexuality thing, good luck and I hope you find your way in happiness and God's grace.  God knows I don't really know my own way in this world in regards to all that kind of stuff.

[Lilllabettt]

 "ask me things you homophobes!"

 

 

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