PhuturePriest Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 And this is why new people never stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 You stated Godwin's Law on me when I first came on Phatmass, so I felt it only right to return the favor. An eye for an eye and all that jazz. Also I felt it was unjustified and uncharitable to use Nazis as an example when speaking about Courage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 being uncharitable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 borders on being uncharitable You should wear a sign that around your neck with those words written on them. I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Sometimes I get discouraged in my reaching out to people because weeks can go by with little or no response. But if experience has taught me anything (on both sides of the aisle), it's that continuing to reach out is so tremendously helpful. It can feel (on both sides) like it doesn't make a beaver dam bit of difference, but it totally does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I've been thinking about the care package idea. I've had a care package sitting in my home waiting to be mailed to someone special for, I think, a year now. A YEAR. I need to get better about sending these things. In the meantime, I keep adding to it. Here are some of my favorite things to include. 1. TokyoMilk Let Them Eat Cake candle, $12.00 ... seriously tdf. 2. La Bonne Maison Pillow Mist (Violet), $17.90 ... again, tdf. 3. Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Base, $56.00 ... okay, everything on this list is tdf. some are more expensive than others, obvs. 4. Macadamia Oil Deep Repair Mask, $16.80 ... I love the way this stuff smells. YUM. (you could also opt for the little bottle of oil, about $8 at target stores.) 5. Wei Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask, $42.00 ... closest thing to a spa. i'll take five... What are yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 My care package: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 This would be mine: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I guess I should have mentioned that usually my care packages are going to women who already keep their liquor cabinets stocked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 This thread got a whole lot less meaningful after page 1. Arguing experience and semantics won't help me help someone with disphoria. If you want to know why Nihil brought up Courage, maybe it's something particular he read that made them sound better than Dignity and asking what that was and how much he read and knew about them would get more of an answer. Clarifying what that was would help more than here X which I knew almost nothing about but is better than Y. I know someone with disphoria. Please be more productive or go to the lame board cause this tread got lame fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I know someone with disphoria. I can't tell what purpose this sentence was intended to serve. Enlighten me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I can't tell what purpose this sentence was intended to serve. Enlighten me? I take that seriously and this thread quickly became unhelpful and seeemingly pointless and valueless in the greater scheme of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I take that seriously and this thread quickly became unhelpful and seeemingly pointless and valueless in the greater scheme of things. Don't get me wrong, I don't seek all help on a forum, I just expected a thread on how to help people with a certain thing to talk about how to help people with that thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Wanted to share this too but didn't want to make a new thread: 10 Ways to Show Love to Someone With Depression Do You Love Someone With Depression? If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu. Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term. 1. Help them keep clutter at bay. When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.) 2. Fix them a healthy meal. Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties. 3.Get them outside. The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this. 4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling. If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression. 5. Encourage them to focus on self-care. Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving. 6. Hug them. Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift. 7. Laugh with them. Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety. 8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings. Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness. 9. Challenge their destructive thoughts. A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.” 10.Remind them why you love them. Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this. via The Darling Bakers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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