Jennifer Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 Lovely to hear that you are working again. Many prayers for you and your fellow discerner as you visit the community this weekend, especially for your good health. I hope all goes well for you both. God Bless.
Kayte Postle Posted January 11, 2019 Author Posted January 11, 2019 Hey all, tomorrow I will be heading to community B to spend a few days with them. The weather is looking iffy, so please pray for safe travels for myself and the other discerner! Thanks!
Kayte Postle Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Hey pham, My visit with community B went very well, and a bit not like what I expected. I'm not going to go into huge details, but I have concluded that community B is not where I am called. It's really hard because I felt a tremendous about of peace the first day I was there, but after talking with the VD I know for sure that it's just not the right place for me. One of the things I was, and still am, processing from the retreat is the ability to let go of my family. I'm very close with them, and this retreat for some reason really brought that particular fear to the surface and I felt it's effects very much over the weekend. On the bright side, praises be to God that I was healthy the whole weekend, no migraines at all! I'm still in contact with community C, and have pushed back my visit with them to a tentative date in April. I've got a lot to process before I finalize those plans though. I'm honestly at a point where I'm ready to make a hard decision one way or the other; to enter or give up on religious life for good. I'm going to start aging out of communities soon, and it's just time to stop being a "sister of perpetual discernment". I need to stop trying to have my cake and eat it too, (a huge explanation behind this I'll keep to myself for now). I ask for your prayers, that I may have clarity of God's will, and that I may accept His loving will whatever it may be. Know that I'm praying for you all!
Kayte Postle Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 My lovely Pham! Things in life are going very well. My job is going smoothly and my health is great. So great in fact that with my doctors guidance I am coming off of medication! I will be completely med free (minus over the counter allergy meds...dogs) by the middle of March. So far the process is going very very well. The only problem (and not sure if I should really call it a problem) is this opens up a whole new world discernment wise. Communities that were once unthinkable are now possible given some time. It’s very confusing and a bit stressful. I’ve reconnected with the very first community I ever visited way back in 2012. I ran into some of their sisters at a conference last week, and one of them remembered me from such a long time ago! I wrote the community and I get to make a short visit with them in April. I’m so excited because never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever be healthy enough to be med free and able discern with this community. I’m of course taking it one day at a time, and know that I’ll be waiting for possible entrance for at least another year while I’m medication free. However I’m so joyful and praising God for this development. Im praying for you all and hope everyone is well. Love you Pham!!
Guest Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Thank you very much for your prayer, Kayte. May God Bless you as you are weaned off medication and may it be totally successful. God Bless your ongoing discernment too 2 hours ago, Kayte Postle said: never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever be healthy enough to be med free and able discern with this community Our God of The Surprise A very happy April visit to the community.
GraceUk Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 I hope your visit goes well but don't rush into things. But on the other hand I've read stories from nuns where they knew immediately they walked through the door it was the right community for them.
Kayte Postle Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 Hello my pham. Update: I am completely medication free! We were actually able to take me off a little faster than anticipated, so it has been three weeks medication free. I am doing very well. The normal stresses of life come up as usual, but I am dealing with them in normal healthy ways. It's honestly a miracle from the Lord. I am so happy right now. Discernment wise, things are very much at peace. I have my visit with a certain community on April 6th, which I am looking forward to very much. I also signed up for a general Lenten retreat given by my favorite community on March 30th. I am so excited to go to their monastery for a general retreat, and just be among them. (Ironically the theme of the retreat is "Finding your personal vocation"). This is a community I have loved since the very early days of my discernment (way back in 2011). Like I said in my last post, this is another community I never let myself dream that I might ever be healthy enough to discern with. There have been times where I would literally be heartsick at the sight of this community on my FB feed. I vividly remember crying a lot the day I found out I couldn't even visit while on meds. It will still be some time before I can visit this community as the last time I contacted them (many years ago) they said they would like me to be off medication for a considerable amount of time before visiting. I'm perfectly happy and at peace with this. I'm in no rush. I'm just on the verge of tears out of joy that I might have the ability to discern with them eventually. I just wanted to share my good news, and rejoice. I love y'all and constantly pray for you. =)
Guest Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 You are blest indeed, Kayte. And even more blessings on your Lenten retreat and discernment journey. Thank you for the update too.
Antigonos Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Keeping my fingers crossed for you! No matter how discernment goes, being off meds and coping well is excellent news!
Kayte Postle Posted April 22, 2019 Author Posted April 22, 2019 Blessed Easter to you all my dear pham! I have some less than great news to share, I'm back on medication. I had a rather severe mental breakdown that has prompted this, and I ended up losing my job because of the amount of time I missed in order to deal with my health (it's a crappy situation, but unfortunately perfectly legal to do in my state). I've also had some things come up in my personal life that very well may prevent me from ever entering an order. I'd like to pick the brain of someone very well versed in Church teachings about something, so if you consider yourself someone who is please PM me. Health wise I'm doing really well now that I'm back on medication, and I already have several job interviews lined up. I'm okay overall, just in a bit of a tiff with the Lord. I know it will all be okay in the end. Pray for me.
Dymphna Posted April 22, 2019 Posted April 22, 2019 Blessed Easter for you too, Kayte! Too bad about the breakdown - and about the laws of your state. But considering all this you sound really well, I hope you're lucky with your job interviews! And don't worry about being in a tiff with God - I have quite some experience with this, he can take it. Praying for you.
Guest Posted April 22, 2019 Posted April 22, 2019 1 hour ago, Dymphna said: And don't worry about being in a tiff with God - I have quite some experience with this, he can take it. Prayer for you, Kayte.
gloriana35 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 Speaking as one who has had bipolar for many years - I am RELIEVED to hear you are back on your medications, and not surprised at the bad effects of being 'off' them. I loathe the idea that there is weakness in taking medication. It is a godsend for many. I'm sorry some communities admit candidates contingent on their not taking their medication.
Antigonos Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 4 hours ago, gloriana35 said: Speaking as one who has had bipolar for many years - I am RELIEVED to hear you are back on your medications, and not surprised at the bad effects of being 'off' them. I loathe the idea that there is weakness in taking medication. It is a godsend for many. I'm sorry some communities admit candidates contingent on their not taking their medication. I completely agree with you. No one would ever suggest that a diabetic foreswear oral medication or insulin; many who have mental illness can be completely stable when properly medicated.
Kayte Postle Posted June 4, 2019 Author Posted June 4, 2019 Happy June everyone! I'm doing well back on medication and have a new job that has me working from home, which has been really good in terms of my health. I'm still in a bit of a tiff with the Lord (I know He can handle my rants though), mostly because I received a rejection from the community I was discerning with. I'm honestly a little heartbroken over it, and I am increasingly frustrated with each closing door as I discern. I have a lot to think about and pray about. Please continue to pray for me, and I always pray for you all! Pax.
Dymphna Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 Hello Kayte, I'm just wondering - have you ever tried psychotherapy for your mental health problems? I don't know your diagnosis, so I don't know if your illness is one which can be treated by psychotherapy. But if it can help, and your circumstances allow it, you could give it a try - and may be able to come off your medication again, once you have developed enough coping skills or whatever you need in psychotherapy. Therapy is hard work, yes, but if it works it might make it possible for you to live without long-term medication. Which is a good thing in itself, independent of possibly making it easier for you to join a religious order.
Kayte Postle Posted June 19, 2019 Author Posted June 19, 2019 @Dymphna I have been in psychotherapy for several years now. I see two doctors, one for talk therapy and the other for medication management. Both times I have tried to come off medication it has been under the supervision and with the permission of both of these professionals. Therapy is indeed hard work as you say, and I've made an incredible amount of progress over the years. However, especially with this recent situation, my medical team believes that staying on medication long term is the best option for me. I trust their judgement deeply. In other news friends, work is going well. I have a meeting with my SD this week, and I have a lot to discuss with him. Still praying about my vocation and my medical status. I have written a community that is within the same spiritual family as the others one I have discerned with in the past. I'm just inquiring to learn more about them, and I'm going into this process (for what seems like the millionth time) with zero expectations. I want to follow God and get to heaven, no matter the vocation. Pray for me as I really need to focus more on striving for holiness in the everyday. Love you pham, and I'll be praying for you!
deusluxmea Posted June 19, 2019 Posted June 19, 2019 Best wishes, Katye, and prayers on your discernment journey
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now