Kayte Discerns (An Ongoing Journey)

[Jennifer]

Praying for you Kayte.................I hope you had a wonderful time with the sisters.

[Antigonos]

Spam.

[kg94]

Dearest Kayte, 

I guess you're probably already in the convent at this time, but hopefully you will see my message when you get back. Please be assured of my prayers and know that nothing can prevent you from doing God's will, and His timing is perfect. I had a similar situation where I was in the convent with the Sisters right after being told the school I previously worked in had issues and my contract was suddenly ended. I still went ahead to the Sisters and continued my discernment despite my job being up in the air and have come back to where I stay to find myself in a new job in a better school. So trust in God's will and His plan. Let the Creator create what He envisioned of His creation, since His plan is perfect and always to make us more fully human and alive, to be the people He meant us to be.

Peace and God bless, 

Kim Thérèse

[Kayte Postle]

My dear Pham! 

Retreat was AVVESOME. The minute my plane loaded and Sr. MP picked me up I was so at peace and felt so at home. Never have I been on retreat where I felt like I was truly authentically myself the entire time. I also have never been so accepted and embraced for being authentically myself, warts and all. Saturday I slept through my alarm and missed morning prayer, so my roommate had to come get me for mass. When each sister asked me about how I slept and I shared that bit of news each of them said something to the tune of "It's okay, Jesus knew you needed the extra z's". This is one small example of the love and generosity I experienced. I also came home to two jobs offers later in the week, with another job interview still to go this week. God is good! He lavishes on His beloved, in His time of course. 

The most exciting news is that, I have asked for application papers to the community!! They should be arriving in the mail in the next couple of days. My friends and mental health doctors are thrilled and behind me 100%. My family is another thing. My father and sister are keeping their opinions to themselves, but I can tell they are livid. My mother and I are speaking tomorrow (she has been on vacation in another state since I got home), and I know from past experience that it's not going to go over well. Please storm the heavens with prayers for this intention! If accepted my entrance into the affiliacy will be early September 2020, with me moving down there in late August. I'm very thankful for the affiliacy, as it should be an easier transition for my loved ones and myself. I will be living with the community while still having an outside job, which also gives me an extra year to work on my debts before entering the postulancy. 

I am so excited, joyful, and a tad bit nervous. I know that this is the step and time I need to do this. Please keep me and my family in your prayers during this time. I have a lot to take care of in the next 6 months, (should I be accepted), and I don't think it's quite set in yet that I'm actually finally taking this step. 

Edited February 26, 2020 by Kayte Postle

[Kayte Postle]

Also I totes need to thank @Spem in alium for introducing me to the community. We're going to be sisters! 

Edited February 26, 2020 by Kayte Postle

[Pax17]

Wonderful news, Kayte...take everything one step at a time.

:Prayers:

[monica_margaret]

That's amazing, Kayte! I'll keep praying for you and your family! God is so good. <3

[Antigonos]

Good to hear your news.  Take everything one day at a time.  Try not to get dispirited if your family seems negative, be philosophical about it, "this too will pass".  Be prepared for a dimunition of the elation you've experienced -- it's a bit like a honeymoon; the real work of a marriage only begins after it's over!

Keep us updated.

[JHFamily]

I'm so glad this seems to be working out for you after all the struggles you've had.  I'll pray for your family.  This will be a hard time for you and for them.  May I suggest going to a temporary agency and seeing if they can give you steady work until you leave?  I did this while waiting to enter many years ago, and it worked out fantastic for me. 

[Kayte Postle]

9 hours ago, JHFamily said:

May I suggest going to a temporary agency and seeing if they can give you steady work until you leave? 

I'm actually already doing this! One of the job offers I received was from a temp agency that lasts just about the time I need! I'm trying to also keep my options open job wise, mostly because of the chance that I might not be accepted into the community. From the discussions I've had with the VD this is unlikely, but I want to be prepared for that situation. I'm just taking one day at a time right now, and taking it one step at a time (despite my joy). 

[Nunsuch]

Kayte, I am so glad that this seems to work out for you. These sisters have at least one mission in my diocese, so I might see you around here someday!

[Kayte Postle]

Just need some prayers right now pham. 

I've talked to my immediate family and they're all not thrilled, and openly against this choice to apply. My conversation with my mother got into my head and I've been spiritually attacked pretty hard. It doesn't help that I can't seem to get a hold of the VD (we were texting pretty regularly before retreat), and I think my application got lost in the mail. My temp job isn't the greatest, but I'm hanging in there. I just miss the convent with my whole heart, and miss my sisters. Being apart from them is hard, and being in an supportive environment just erodes you after time. 

[Kayte Postle]

21 minutes ago, Kayte Postle said:

being in an supportive environment just erodes you after time. 

unsupported*

[Antigonos]

Just keep saying to yourself, "I'm free, white, and over 21!"

No, seriously, don't.  But the over 21 part is apt.  You are an adult; you make the choices, for good or ill, for yourself.  Sure, it helps to know that you've got a phamily behind you when you need them, but if that's not possible, remember you are an independent adult.  If you enter, your phamily in religion will support you, and indeed, they will become your primary phamily.  Take everything one day at a time.

We are all rooting for you.

[Kayte Postle]

21 minutes ago, Antigonos said:

Just keep saying to yourself, "I'm free, white, and over 21!"

No, seriously, don't.  But the over 21 part is apt.  You are an adult; you make the choices, for good or ill, for yourself.  Sure, it helps to know that you've got a phamily behind you when you need them, but if that's not possible, remember you are an independent adult.  If you enter, your phamily in religion will support you, and indeed, they will become your primary phamily.  Take everything one day at a time.

We are all rooting for you.

@Antigonos Thank you so much for this! It's something I definitely needed to hear. 

[Pax17]

Kayte, following on @Antigonos excellent advice, it's time to "dig in your heels" and stand up for what you want.  My parents were dead set against my dating the man who eventually became my husband.  My dad came around after he got to know my then boyfriend.  He still wasn't pleased with the situation, but he wanted me to be happy.  My mother made my life a real misery, but every time she tried to make me feel guilty, I became steadfast in my desire.  I refused to let anyone tell me what to do.  It certainly wasn't easy or pleasant.  Your family will either come around or they won't (my mom never liked my husband).  What matters is that you follow your heart.

 

 

[UndividedlyHis]

Kayte, I don’t really know you (also, this is my first post on here, yay!) but I’ve been reading your thread for a while and I’m familiar with your journey and the trials you’ve been going through. It looks like you have been through a lot, and God has carried you through many difficulties on your path to following His will for your life. I admire your beautiful heart for Him and your perseverance. I think this new opportunity and this beautiful community are like a miracle He has given you, a new chance to grow closer to Him and discover His will for you. Please do not let anyone take that away from you, or shift your focus from following Him through this community. In most cases, our parents do love us very much, but there is often a bit (or not a bit) of selfishness hidden in that love, if it’s not rooted completely in Christ - they often want us to do what they believe is better, according to their own standards, rather than give ourselves wholly to God and do His will. They often want to get something “out of us”, even if it’s just our company - and religious life goes against that desire! For now, you believe His will is that you explore this call to become His bride in this community, so stay strong in Him and don’t look back! As Catholics we are to honor our parents, but nowhere does it say we also have to let them decide what we do with our lives. Look at your Beloved, at your Heavenly Father, and pray for strength to remain firm. Perhaps the Lord has allowed this to help you learn detachment from family, and He’s waiting for you to take this step to take you closer to Him and to fulfilling your vocation. You are not alone.

As for the VD not getting in touch as fast as usual, please do not worry before you actually have to. Nothing has actually been done on their part to make you worried. Sometimes things like that happen. My sisters have once disappeared all of a sudden and I thought the community decided not to discern with me anymore. But they were just busy. I think we should always be prepared for difficulties and obstacles when we try to fulfill our vocations, as the tempter never wants that - because he knows that the vocation God has given you will take you closer to Him!

My SD has always said (my family situation is similar to yours) that if one is indeed called to RL and they live it out in a holy way, that brings a huge blessing and a lot of grace on their family, too, eventually. And often it helps bring that family to God and Holy Mother Church, even if it seemed impossible. Leave your parents in God’s hands. That has really helped me.

please forgive me for any possible mistakes as I am from Europe and English is not my first language

[gloriana35]

Some religious congregations do not engage in correspondence during Lent.

[Kayte Postle]

Hello pham, 

It's been a hot minute since I have posted, and well much has happened in the world and in my own life since I posted back in March. Ultimately I did not apply to the community I mentioned above. The VD had sent out two applications, both of which got lost in the mail. Then I was asked to wait on my application, which was completely fine, but the community was less than communicative from there on out. I haven't been able to speak with the VD since March, despite my efforts at contact. I have resigned myself to the fact that entering this community is not going to happen. I was very bitter about the whole thing for awhile. I was mad at the community, and I was mad at God. I felt like went off the rails in my bitterness and immediately started to try and date, which of course, was a terrible move. The lack of access to the sacraments because of COVID-19 also has taken it's toll on me just as it's taken it's toll on everyone. 

I'm at a point where in my diocese I can attend mass and confession again, and feel as though I can begin to pick through the pieces of what has happened. I'm taking some time to breathe and rest in the Lord before moving forward with discerning with any other community. I know in my heart of hearts I'm still called, despite my struggles and shortcomings. Just right now I need from rest from the journey. 

Pray for me please? I continue to hold you all in prayer! Love you my pham. 

 

[Antigonos]

You have my prayers as you go through this difficult time.  Whenever something unpleasant happened in nursing school, we were told to think of it as a "learning experience".  This entire episode is a "learning experience", as is this time of quarantine and deprivation for all of us.  Hang in there!