Why is the Phorum Mostly Dead?

[tinytherese]

13 minutes ago, tinytherese said:

That's funny. I remember finding out somehow that pringles counted as kosher.

I might be wrong about this or they might literally not be marked as kosher anymore.

[Credo in Deum]

 

I fell away from the faith. Stopped practicing and started deteriorating rather quickly. Lots of drugs and battles with suicidal thoughts, so basically a hopeless existence.  

The good part is this entire thing has shown me that my main issue is trust and self-hatred. I don’t trust God or people and I don’t value myself. I know I will need to do those two things if I’m ever going to be able to fulfill my part in this relationship.

I’ve started to read a book called The Popes Against Modern Errors: 16 Papal Documents. It has really shown me how even when I was considered “practicing” that I wasn’t really orthodox in my thinking. 

While it’s good to be back it’s also difficult to be back. That’s the other thing I’ve noticed is how much sin has changed me inside or maybe it’s that grace is what had kept me from experiencing what fallen man naturally feels like: lost, far from God,  uncomfortable around religious things and persons, untrustworthy, and hopeless.

 

[cruciatacara]

9 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

Do you think the number of people actively discerning has died down? Or are they just not coming to VS anymore?

I remember when nunsense was bumping around these parts. It was epic. Let's get her back. Pray real loud and she will hear.

Maybe dairygirl was killed by vegans. Did you know teddy grahams are vegan? As are oreos. I am not a vegan, but I was deeply disturbed to discover that oreos are vegan.

I know nunsense personally. She was basically kicked off the forum - dust told her the other posters had voted and they considered her to be a trouble maker. Naturally she felt unwelcome after that. You won't get her back here again. She's very happy in her life and doesn't need the validation of phatmass. I lurk here mainly, but the place really has gone downhill since I first joined. I think some people started taking things too seriously and wouldn't allow any dissenting opinions. Maybe that's not it, I don't know. But your comment was kind and I will pass it on to her if I see her.

[deusluxmea]

1 hour ago, cruciatacara said:

I know nunsense personally. 

I often wonder about nunsense, too. Are you able to share if she ended up in religious life? 

[cruciatacara]

1 hour ago, deusluxmea said:

I often wonder about nunsense, too. Are you able to share if she ended up in religious life? 

Yes, but she wouldn't like me talking about her personal life. Sorry.

[Lilllabettt]

2 hours ago, cruciatacara said:

I know nunsense personally. She was basically kicked off the forum - dust told her the other posters had voted and they considered her to be a trouble maker. Naturally she felt unwelcome after that. You won't get her back here again. She's very happy in her life and doesn't need the validation of phatmass. I lurk here mainly, but the place really has gone downhill since I first joined. I think some people started taking things too seriously and wouldn't allow any dissenting opinions. Maybe that's not it, I don't know. But your comment was kind and I will pass it on to her if I see her.

I'm so glad that she is happy in her life. What a consolation to know that. God is good.

But what a terrible treatment you describe. Its behavior unrecognizable in the phatmass I remember. I had left by then, I guess, after my own issues. Certainly if a forum is going to survive it needs its "troublemakers".  It is so important who is selected as moderator. If you do speak to nunsense, and please do, tell her that phatmass is ripe for conquering by The Interesting.  Tell her I am more than willing to share power. Lol

[Lilllabettt]

5 hours ago, Credo in Deum said:

 

I fell away from the faith. Stopped practicing and started deteriorating rather quickly. Lots of drugs and battles with suicidal thoughts, so basically a hopeless existence.  

The good part is this entire thing has shown me that my main issue is trust and self-hatred. I don’t trust God or people and I don’t value myself. I know I will need to do those two things if I’m ever going to be able to fulfill my part in this relationship.

I’ve started to read a book called The Popes Against Modern Errors: 16 Papal Documents. It has really shown me how even when I was considered “practicing” that I wasn’t really orthodox in my thinking. 

While it’s good to be back it’s also difficult to be back. That’s the other thing I’ve noticed is how much sin has changed me inside or maybe it’s that grace is what had kept me from experiencing what fallen man naturally feels like: lost, far from God,  uncomfortable around religious things and persons, untrustworthy, and hopeless.

 

Welcome back. I felt like you describe after I was ejected from the convent.  Except it was in every setting. I felt like an alien. Id forgotten how to wear pantaloons and do my hair. Some one tried to explain Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana to me and I couldnt understand. I can laugh at that part now. But the alienation from God which was horrible, I can't laugh yet. I had this feeling of holy things, religious things, and even the church building itself repelling me. I had a desire to "get away" from them. 

I think what you've suffered is an opportunity. No two people suffer alike. It's a unique experience you've had. It follows that there is unique wisdom and understanding to be gained from that experience.  There is literally no one else who has ever lived, or will ever live, who can pass on the understanding available to you. Therefore you have a duty to live and share this with the world. Otherwise the knowledge of that experience will be lost to us forever.

 You will never know what it is like to live a life never having fallen from grace to hopelessness. That particular experience is lost to you, forever.  But what a gift to be acquainted with what "fallen man naturally feels like". I can almost pity people who never experience this. I hope one day you will write a book mapping the path back to God. You can start by writing on phatmass. Just a suggestion<<<<recruiting trick

 

[Anomaly]

People change a lot.   Back in the early days, 2001, I posted as jasJis and was a faithful 7/7 Catholic. I taught CCD and confirmation classes and was a volunteer with the parish youth group.   Now I’ve been an atheist for years, don’t see that changing, but have no hatred or disdain for the Catholic Church.   I arrogantly believe I understand it more and respect it more than most Catholics I know.  

I’ve seen other posters here Chang a lot as well.  Some fall away from Catholicism and any morals.    Others seek peace and order elsewhere.  I’ve seen some become Catholic and some get ordained.  It’s always a struggle to be forgiving, empathetic, tolerant, and kind towards those we disagree with.  Especially when we look in the mirror.  

Our social media celebrates group think, and simultaneously  panders to conflict in order to generate interest, attention, and advertising dollars.  We sell our reasonableness for free internet and online “friends”.

It’s extremely rare that people are men or hurtful with the intent to be preemptively mean or hurtful.  Rodney has a point in asking why we can’t all get along. 

[AveMariaPurissima]

14 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

Do you think the number of people actively discerning has died down? Or are they just not coming to VS anymore?

My guess would be that many of the formerly active posters either entered religious life or discerned that that wasn't their calling -- but then not a lot of new discerners joined the phorum.

[Guest]

I post every now and then in streaks. I used to go by Delivery Boy until I entered AA 63 months ago and switched to my real name at that time. By the grace of God I haven't had a drink although I have new negative addictions. I credit Phatmass for teaching me the faith and Catechizing me. I found this place at around 21 and learned a lot. I go to Mass every week now and on days of Obligation. Also Confession thanks to what I learned here.

I appreciate the leiancy by the moderators over the years. I recently joined Catholic Answers Forum and within the first week was banned until 3018. The reason given was my tone in posts and lack of respect for other posters. No cursing or anything just going all the way in on some lady insinuating only Catholics will probably make it to Heaven. I get where C.A. is coming from with the Mediator of Meh ban hammer although it made me appreciate this place more and what we were/are allowed to get away with.

The last sexual abuse stuff has messed with me. It sorta did in the past although when it happened in the early 2000's I was completely away from the faith. Then over the years I would hear about new stuff off and on. This last time though was tough to stomach. I wanted to join a non denominational Church or something. But I know to much to go that route. Unfortunately I've also used these scandals to justify my own sinful actions which is bad. I haven't been to Confession in 3 or 4 months. And as twisted as it is the scandels are what's going to give me the push to spit out all my grave sins (a ton) to the Priest when I do go. If he wants to yell at me fine (only happened once) but knowing what a lot of the heiarchy is guilty of and covering up I'm just another messed up sinner in good company in need of forgiveness.

I'm guessing a lot of people have left Catholicism because of what happened or are in the process Of leaving now. If you're reading this and thinking about it don't. Especially if you're Holy and a decent person. People like myself need good examples to follow and learn from. And if you're like me and not Holy and thinking of leaving don't. You need Confession and all of the grace God has to pour out on you.

[tinytherese]

8 hours ago, cruciatacara said:

I know nunsense personally. She was basically kicked off the forum - dust told her the other posters had voted and they considered her to be a trouble maker. Naturally she felt unwelcome after that. You won't get her back here again. She's very happy in her life and doesn't need the validation of phatmass. I lurk here mainly, but the place really has gone downhill since I first joined. I think some people started taking things too seriously and wouldn't allow any dissenting opinions. Maybe that's not it, I don't know. But your comment was kind and I will pass it on to her if I see her.

Nunsense of all people got banned? She didn't troll, wasn't mean, and sincerely tried to live her faith. It sounds like some people on here need to stop being butthurt. 

[tinytherese]

On November 29, 2018 at 8:41 PM, Lilllabettt said:

Ugh you would . JK 

I think Trump and PF are similar in some ways. Non traditional preparation for the job, elected to drain the swamp, tendency to throw bombs/say things that need walked back. 

There are big huuuge differences too of course.

But it's a destabilizing moment. What's the Catholic response to Trump? To PF? Faithful Catholics are in freak out mode I'm thinking.

Yes, those two are such controversial figures for Catholics to deal with. I've noticed that if you question, criticize, or express wanting clarification on anything they say or do, some Catholics get so defensive, accusing you of being a bad Catholic. In regards to Trump, if you don't support him, then you're a pro-choice Clinton supporter, which is against Catholic morality and you're letting millions of babies die.  It's not as simple as that. Talk about being damned if you do and damned if you don't. 

I remember when the election between Romney and Obama happened, that there were multiple threads on here where some people accused other posters of somehow supporting pro-choice Obama by voting third party because they had issues with both primary candidates. What?

 

 

[cruciatacara]

9 hours ago, tinytherese said:

Nunsense of all people got banned? She didn't troll, wasn't mean, and sincerely tried to live her faith. It sounds like some people on here need to stop being butthurt. 

TT, From what I recall her telling me, she didn't get banned. She got a note from dust saying that a vote had been held and that she had been voted the worst of whatever the adjective was: 'troublemaker', 'disruptive', 'argumentative' - I don't remember the exact wording, but he didn't specifically ban her, just warned her I think. I just remember it was a weird poll that was run with everyone being asked to vote for those posters they felt were bad for phatmass. I thought it was a stupid poll because it was so negative, and I think a lot of people didn't vote because they didn't want to be judgmental of others, but there was a very strong negative clique around at the time who did vote for people just because they didn't like them. I don't think the final results were ever made public but dust probably contacted those with the highest negative votes individually, like he did with nunsense - he sent her a list of names and the number of negative votes each person had received, and she was at the top of the list.  I remember some of the other people on the list that she mentioned, and some of them aren't here anymore either. She told me that she just didn't feel welcome here after that, so she left. 

I do think the poll was a stupid mistake ('Let's vote for the people we  like least!') but we all make mistakes and hindsight is 20/20. It's all water under the bridge since it was so long ago - and besides, most of the people who voted nunsense 'off the island' aren't around these days anyway.  It's kind of ironic.

[Lilllabettt]

4 minutes ago, cruciatacara said:

 I don't think the final results were ever made public but dust probably contacted those with the highest negative votes individually, like he did with nunsense - he sent her a list of names and the number of negative votes each person had received, and she was at the top of the list.  I remember some of the other people on the list that she mentioned, and some of them aren't here anymore either. She told me that she just didn't feel welcome here after that, so she left. 

 

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

[cruciatacara]

2 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

I probably won't be in contact with her until the New Year, but will pass on your message next time I am. 

[Ash Wednesday]

A lot of phatmassers from the core group I know and remember got married and their families grew, so their available time shrunk. I know a couple of ladies personally that used to post on here and have no issues with phatmass and the phorum, but they're busy moms. 

I think social media changes things a lot, too. There's only 24 hours a day and more places for younger Catholics to spend their time that would normally have been flocking here. We didn't have instagram and twitter in the early 00s when Phatmass was more populated. That said I've dabbled a little bit on Catholic twitter but I found it pretty disappointing. Blocked or unfollowed for being "too traditional" because I was critical of heterodox Jesuits or blocked for pointing out that Democrats are just as bad with "cults of personality" as Trump supporters are. Or shunned by others for not being "trad enough" because I'm not a sedevacantist. Whatever, dudes. Not as friendly of a community there as phatmass has been when its at its best. For me, sometimes I get busy or just plain tired and just don't have time for Catholic internet. I spent a long time away around 2015-2016 because I was very sick but I'm doing OK now.

I always like seeing familiar faces come back. I think some of the drama and fights hurt but there's no need to let those things define a place. Ideally the best you can do is try to make the place a positive corner on the internet and let the rest take care of itself. 

[tinytherese]

16 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

I remember that poll too. The intentions behind it were probably good and I'm not calling those behind it and their responses bad people, but I thought it was inappropriate. 

[Lilllabettt]

2 hours ago, tinytherese said:

I remember that poll too. The intentions behind it were probably good and I'm not calling those behind it and their responses bad people, but I thought it was inappropriate. 

I was like... uh oh. This is not going to end well... lol...

[lost_in_this_world]

As someone who was slightly active for a hot second years ago and now recently started checking it out again, I think it has a lot to do with the way responses are perceived by the one who started the thread. Sometimes when someone has a question or comment that doesn’t fit the proper catholic mold, I think some of the responses can be a bit challenging to swallow. Not that they are wrong but it’s hard to interpret a persons inflection when reading a comment online. I also think that in general there are a lot of issues with the church right now so when someone is looking for guidance or answers and they get a firm response. It might be hard for them to move on. We must remember that we are all imperfect and sometimes that doesn’t come across. 

[Anomaly]

12 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

I was like... uh oh. This is not going to end well... lol...

I remember  the poll.    I vaguely remember nunsense.   

She was one of the few people that were on my blocked list.  I don’t remember why in particular.   But if I blocked them, I’m sure some others felt they were challenging to deal with.   

Almost every person of the billions walking the earth right now have some good in them.  But that doesn’t mean all others will interpret them in a positive manner.  Some get highly offended or hurt by that. Regular human foibles.