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Oh my.....


rachael

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maybe i should give up on going to college all together. then i wouldn't have to deal with any of this BS. :(

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The latest excuse from my parents on why I [i]have[/i] to go instate is so I can get my teeth fixed because I might need braces again on my bottom teeth (but there's no rush to get them). Then I told my mom that's not a good reason to stay instate....she said, "Fine! You pay for your d*** college then." She sounded serious. :mellow:

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prayers and more prayers!!

visit the Department of Ed site, fill out the Fafsa.

what in-state school do they suggest, and what would it cost

get on the phone with Steubie and talk to them about financial aid, what exists, what is available, what you qualify for; work study (from Mrs. Bro Adam, I get a sense working on the economy at large may be a problem)

if you can keep their out of pocket cost in the range of in-state tuition they are prepared to pay - half the battle is over

another prayer, just for good measure


ps - don't confront - finagle - err, present rational alternatives

Edited by journeyman
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The problem isn't about whether or not we have enough money to pay for college because we do have enough. The problem is that they want to go the cheapest route possible, all while keeping me close to home (why?). They don't care whether I'll be unhappy, rather they don't seem to care about my input at all. It almost seems that all along they let me apply to those out-of-state schools just to get me to shut up about it. I just want to be able to make my own decision about my furture, ya know? :sadder:

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so maybe you need to have a serious, adult, non-confrontational discussion with them and ask them how this "rest of my life" decision should be made . . . that you've throught a lot about it . . . (make sure that's true!) . . . and spell out the reasons in favor of Steubie

1. They are your parents, and they love you, and will miss you, and in their heart of hearts you are still that cute as a button munchkin who came into their lives 18 years ago (on March 19) . . . time stands still

(insert - this may not be the best time to talk about your plans to go skydiving n March)

2. They are your parents, and they are worried that you won't study, will party, take up drinking, rock and roll, and start hanging out with jazz musicians . . . (lions and tigers and bears, oh my) (I really think the Franciscans will keep this from being a real concern, maybe they're worried about the opposite extreme . . . find a way to address that too)

3. You can't change them . . . to quote one of my friends . . . if you can't blind them with brilliance, baffle them with . . . cow patties . . .

you can only address the issues they raise . . . if it is money, then find a way to fit in their budget (it doesn't matter if they have more than the budget) (maybe they invested in one of those pre-paid tuition plans years ago, when the states only offered it for in-state schools - the rules have changed today - but that isn't going to help them access that money for you) (do you have brothers or sisters who might want to go in-state?)

if it is medical . . . find out what the medical community is like in Steubie
from some of the comments you've made, this may be their real concern . . . I have a friend who sometimes doesn't take his medication - once he ended up blacking out in the middle of his commute to work . . . scares the stuff out of me, and I can't even begin to imagine how his wife deals with it . . .

(but his parents let him go away to college (it was in state - Michigan) and let him get a job and let him get married and move to Virginia . . . )


if it is academic/future employability . . . . talk to Steubie's alumni office, where are their graduates today, (these guys live for these questions)

options are what you need . . . this is a real life adult experience . . . how to turn this from a "beat head against wall" into a "win/win" for you and your parents


I wasn't thinking there was any reason you "can't" go . . . but you have to take all the "maybe not the real reasons" your parents raise, and address them - alleviate that concern, and move on to the next one




(and there are some good schools in Georgia . . . and great football fight songs . . . "rambling wreck from Georgia Tech") . . . just kidding

Edited by journeyman
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[quote name='journeyman' date='Feb 5 2005, 09:21 PM'] so maybe you need to have a serious, adult, non-confrontational discussion with them [/quote]
It starts out that way almost every single time, then my mom starts yelling for no reason. that's when the fights start <_<


[quote]rambling wreck from Georgia Tech[/quote]

and, yes, everyone quotes that. :rolleyes:

that's the only place in georgia i'd wanna go. but i couldn't get in there. and that's the truth. -_-

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[quote name='rachael' date='Feb 5 2005, 09:23 PM'] It starts out that way almost every single time, then my mom starts yelling for no reason. that's when the fights start <_<

[/quote]
don't fight back - don't give in, but don't yell back - and the talk will get back on track. It's hard, I can't do it . . . without calling a time out . . . when I zing off a cheap shot, I always get zinged in return . . . and then things go down hill fast

so don't let it turn into a yelling contest . . . either pretend she spoke in a normal tone of voice and continue to discuss . . . and if she keeps yelling, call a time out . . . if she calms down quickly, go look for some supporting document you think you remember . . . if it will take several hours, maybe there is some paper coming due that you "forgot" you had some additional research to check on

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[quote name='journeyman' date='Feb 5 2005, 09:43 PM'] don't fight back - don't give in, but don't yell back -  and the talk will get back on track.  It's hard, I can't do it . . . without calling a time out . . .  when I zing off a cheap shot, I always get zinged in return . . . and then things go down hill fast

so don't let it turn into a yelling contest . . . either pretend she spoke in a normal tone of voice and continue to discuss . . .  and if she keeps yelling, call a time out . . . if she calms down quickly, go look for some supporting document you think you remember . . .  if it will take several hours, maybe there is some paper coming due that you "forgot" you had some additional research to check on [/quote]
i don't yell most of the time. that's what really ticks my mom off. :(

hard to believe.....i mean yea, i do sometimes scream, but most of the time she's the one doing the yelling. i tell her i don't wanna talk to her if she's going to yell at me like that and i quietly leave the room. then she proceeds to tell me to stop feeling so sorry for myself or to stop being such a big baby.


ah. family lovin' <_<

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If that plane leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And for the rest of your life.

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