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I've got a not-a-date-yet!


theculturewarrior

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theculturewarrior

Hi!

So I went out last week with this woman. We had a cup of coffee and talked. I had pretty much closed myself off from dating and romance, thinking it isn't my vocation, but I'm not so sure anymore. I'm hearing a call from God, and it is very loud, and now I just have to figure out what He's calling me to, if that makes sense. I plan on discussing this with my pastor (and with a psychologist. I want to see what I'm in for!)

And today's readings and homily kind of put it in perspective for me. The homily was awesome, the pastor mentioned America's contraceptive mentality within a context of a cultural paranoia and fear of getting hurt. He said we should take risks in love (he wasn't talking about romanitic love) and that if we lost our one little talent, at least we didn't bury it and get thrown out into the darkness where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. And I realized that I've been living in a cave, with all of my talents buried! I need to get out and love, just not quite sure yet what kind of love(but I have an idea)!

So anyway, me and my not-a-date-yet are going to the dollar movies tonight. (She's interested in me even though I can't afford the rich people's theatre! :P: ) She knows that I was nervous about "coming out of my cave," and I insisted on a friends-until-it-becomes-something more approach. Tonight is different, though.

I think I would like to get her a gift. A gesture of friendship. I was thinking a yellow rose. (This is Texas! :P: ) What do you think?

(This is only our second not-a-date-yet).

(BTW: It amused my sister to suggest that we watch the "40 year-old virgin." We just might! :unsure: )

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[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:14 PM']I think I would like to get her a gift. A gesture of friendship. I was thinking a yellow rose. (This is Texas! :P: ) What do you think?

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awww I think that would be cute :) I see yellow roses as signs of friendship, which I actually believe that's what they are a symbol for lol. They're also my fave flower :) So I think it would be a cute idea :)

Edited by StColette
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Thy Geekdom Come

You could hold off on the rose and then when you decide you want to date her, offer her a red one and a yellow one and ask which one she wants...if she knows the symbolology, she'll think it's romantic.

...or, you could offer her a yellow one each date until, surprise, a red one when you want it to be a real date. :)

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[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:14 PM']I think I would like to get her a gift. A gesture of friendship. I was thinking a yellow rose. (This is Texas! :P: ) What do you think?
[right][snapback]787349[/snapback][/right]
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Get it.

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theculturewarrior

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:18 PM']You could hold off on the rose and then when you decide you want to date her, offer her a red one and a yellow one and ask which one she wants...if she knows the symbolology, she'll think it's romantic.
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I already know which one she wants! :P:

I think, for a while, I'm only offering the other.

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photosynthesis

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:14 PM']Hi!

So I went out last week with this woman. We had a cup of coffee and talked. I had pretty much closed myself off from dating and romance, thinking it isn't my vocation, but I'm not so sure anymore. I'm hearing a call from God, and it is very loud, and now I just have to figure out what He's calling me to, if that makes sense. I plan on discussing this with my pastor (and with a psychologist. I want to see what I'm in for!)

And today's readings and homily kind of put it in perspective for me. The homily was awesome, the pastor mentioned America's contraceptive mentality within a context of a cultural paranoia and fear of getting hurt. He said we should take risks in love (he wasn't talking about romanitic love) and that if we lost our one little talent, at least we didn't bury it and get thrown out into the darkness where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. And I realized that I've been living in a cave, with all of my talents buried! I need to get out and love, just not quite sure yet what kind of love(but I have an idea)!

So anyway, me and my not-a-date-yet are going to the dollar movies tonight. (She's interested in me even though I can't afford the rich people's theatre! :P: ) She knows that I was nervous about "coming out of my cave," and I insisted on a friends-until-it-becomes-something more approach. Tonight is different, though.

I think I would like to get her a gift. A gesture of friendship. I was thinking a yellow rose. (This is Texas! :P: ) What do you think?

(This is only our second not-a-date-yet).

(BTW: It amused my sister to suggest that we watch the "40 year-old virgin." We just might! :unsure: )
[right][snapback]787349[/snapback][/right]
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Go TCW!!! I hope you have fun!

I like the idea of a yellow rose, but that's just me.

this might sound weird, but are you paying or are you going dutch? Usually if I go out with a guy but it's not a date, but he pays anyway, I get confused...

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theculturewarrior

She's coming over to my apartment instead. We're just going to sit on my porch and talk for a while, and maybe take a walk. She says things that scare me, though. I think she just has a different sense of humor. I hope so, anyway.

(Something about friendship with privileges. I didn't quite catch what she was saying. :unsure: )

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Thy Geekdom Come

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 05:43 PM']She's coming over to my apartment instead. We're just going to sit on my porch and talk for a while, and maybe take a walk. She says things that scare me, though. I think she just has a different sense of humor. I hope so, anyway.

(Something about friendship with privileges. I didn't quite catch what she was saying. :unsure: )
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Yeah..."friendship with privileges" could be bad.

Hope for the best, be polite, hold your own, and be a gentleman. You can do it.

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photosynthesis

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:43 PM']She's coming over to my apartment instead. We're just going to sit on my porch and talk for a while, and maybe take a walk. She says things that scare me, though. I think she just has a different sense of humor. I hope so, anyway.

(Something about friendship with privileges. I didn't quite catch what she was saying. :unsure: )
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ok, if someone ever asks to be "friends with privileges" or "friends with benefits" you just cover your ears and sing "lalalalalala...i can't hear you!" And if that doesn't work, you just run away.

seriously, friends w/privileges and friends w/benefits is a bad idea. always.

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theculturewarrior

I'm not sure that that's what she was suggesting. I certainly HOPE NOT!

[quote]ok, if someone ever asks to be "friends with privileges" or "friends with benefits" you just cover your ears and sing "lalalalalala...i can't hear you!" And if that doesn't work, you just run away.

seriously, friends w/privileges and friends w/benefits is a bad idea. always.
[/quote]

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photosynthesis

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 04:49 PM']I think me and my guardian angel will be growing closer tonight. :unsure:
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I think so!

as I understand it, friends with privileges/benefits can mean different things. For some, it means having doing all of the physical stuff that people sometimes do while they're dating without the responsibilities of intimacy. Couples sometimes define their relationship as "friends with benefits" if they want all of the emotional benefits of dating and intimacy, without all of the responsibilities towards one another. Either way, I don't think it's a very Catholic notion.

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Maybe she means she's gonna petition the Pope to grant you an indulgence whenever you go out on a not-a-date. That way, evertime you see eachother, it'll be a priveleged indulgence. Hence, you're friends with priveleges -- indulgence priveleges. :idontknow:

Edited by Era Might
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Thy Geekdom Come

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Nov 13 2005, 06:12 PM']I'm a little scared, here. :unsure:
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Nada te turbe. Nada te sponte. Solo Dios tiene nada la falta. Solo Dios basta.

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