My Engagement

[Aloysius]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Dec 7 2005, 09:13 PM']I did, and thought your argument was silly.
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I'm not sure I understand this... my argument for a long engagement to be certain about marriage is silly?

[quote]This is a silly statement. If one does not yet have a "self-identity," he is probably not mature enough for marriage, whether he is 18 or 38![/quote]
certainly a self-identity... I'm just thinking of people who establish themselves so individually that to enter into marriage means to get pre-nup agreements, completely distinct bank accounts, and all that kinda stuff. they're at a stage where they so want to hold onto their individual selves that they won't let themselves be vulnerable to another individual, though they'll still share the same bed.

[Laudate_Dominum]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Dec 7 2005, 02:59 PM']L_D's statement that statistics are secular is important because that means it doesn't take into account the factor of the FAITH and the concept that ending a marriage isn't even an option because the two people understand so well the permanence of it.
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yeah, that's basically what I meant. If I were to do statistics based on the people I've known who married very young (by todays standards) I can think of one such couple who actually divorced, and they are the only one that I know for a fact became sexually active before they married.

I can remember in sex education class being told to wait until you're like 30 to get married because of xyz. But this ideology also said, "if you feel like getting married at all", and they assumed you'd obviously start having sex much sooner, hopefully in high school or even junior high.

I guess part of the idea is that you should be experimenting and getting your kicks while you're young so that when you finally settle down you would have been able to have sex with lots of different people. I mean heck, if you're young why not enjoy it? Marriage is something to do when you've passed your prime and need someone so that you won't have to be alone. And of course marriage involved kids which are a threat to the lifestyle of hedonistic irresponsible sexual activity.

I think in an ideal society most people would get married in their teen years. This is when one begins to feel the call of sexuality in their body, its the natural time to leave father and mother and be joined to your spouse.

I can see how devaluing marriage would involve convincing people that they shouldn't get married until they're older and older. It fits the ideals of the sexual revolution nicely. Less child bearing years, more fornication in society, more baggage when you get married, etc..

I can think of arguments based on the "maturity" thing that support younger marriages. I think that perspective starts with the presupposition that older marriages are more desirable.