Balthazor Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 I really do not have any good advice, but I can offer a prayer or two for you. Tell someone else that can help, please.
fearundercontrol Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 Yeah I'm getting even more tempted to now. I scared myself today entertaininig the thought of throwing up dinner. (And this at least an hour before dinner that this was going through my head, mind you.) And from there thinking about throwing up whatever else I'm forced to eat, trying to figure out how I would manage it without anybody finding out. That really scared me. So now I am a LOT closer to calling Sherie tomorrow.
fearundercontrol Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 Please pray for courage for me today to make that phone call to Sherie. I want to but...well...yeah.
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 I am praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for you. God bless.
fearundercontrol Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 Thanks. I really don't think I can do it though. I planned on making the phone call after I got out of math class, and well I just got out of math class about 10 minutes ago, and my phone is still in my pocket. I can't get myself to make the call. Maybe I'm scared or maybe it's that other part of me that keeps telling me I'm not supposed to tell people. Or maybe it's both. I just can't do it.
fearundercontrol Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 It's 11:12...so technically I have 45 minutes left to call if I want a chance of getting ahold of her today. I might be able to call when I get out of my last class today (at 3:20), but I'm not sure how long I'd have because I don't know what time they close. Although my guess is four. I need to call, I know I do. Why then am I having such a hard time telling someone I really trust?
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 [quote]Or maybe it's both. I just can't do it.[/quote] You can't do it on your own, no. But in Christ you can do all things. Take courage. I will continue to pray. Love, CA
Mary's servant Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 I'm still praying for you, you aren't alone.
fearundercontrol Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 I just called but I had to leave a message w/ the receptionist to have Sherie call me back. The receptionist said she'll give it to her "as soon as she gets out." Hopefully that won't be while I'm on the way home in the car with my dad. And y'all can thank cmotherofpirl for literally MAKING me call. The sneak.
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 [quote]CMom is an angel.[/quote] Agreed. She can have my next rosary for her intentions - if she doesn't mind sharing it with fearundercontrol, that is.
Balthazor Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I am very happy you called. PRayers still with you.
fearundercontrol Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 Thank you for the continued prayers. Sherie didn't call back today, so I'm going to assume she'll call back tomorrow. So now instead of being nervous about [i]making[/i] a call, I'm nervous about [i]taking[/i] a call.
Fr. Antony Maria OSB Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Allison, you did a great job today at calling Sherie: that takes a lot of courage. You've taken the first step in the right direction, you've gotten the boulder moving down the mountain, so now you just have to keep it rolling. Remember that you are never alone in this, Jesus is always right by your side, and know that you have all of us pham praying for you here. You're doing the right thing in getting help: keep it up! May God bless and protect you always in all of your endeavors! Your Brother in Christ, Joe
fearundercontrol Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 Sherie called me back this morning. We talked for a little bit and then made me an earlier appointment for this coming Monday (the 13th). And she told me she wants me to periodically throughout the day have a snack, a carbohydrate (like an apple or banana) and a protein (like coagulated milk or peanut butter). That's when I really started crying. Because it means eating something. And I've told myself I'm not allowed to eat. Even though I am desperately wanting to. So it's both torture and a relief at the same time. That so does not make sense.
Domine ut Videam Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 [quote name='fearundercontrol' post='1115045' date='Nov 8 2006, 10:19 AM'] Sherie called me back this morning. We talked for a little bit and then made me an earlier appointment for this coming Monday (the 13th). And she told me she wants me to periodically throughout the day have a snack, a carbohydrate (like an apple or banana) and a protein (like coagulated milk or peanut butter). That's when I really started crying. Because it means eating something. And I've told myself I'm not allowed to eat. Even though I am desperately wanting to. So it's both torture and a relief at the same time. That so does not make sense. [/quote] So have you decided what you are going to do? Are you going to let yourself eat? Because that my friend is strength....and if you can do that than the rest of us can do anything. Keep us posted.
Balthazor Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 You are not only allowed to eat you are encouraged to eat. Perhaps it would help to think of eating in a different light. Not as something that you are or are not allowed to do. But rather something you do for someone else, out of love. I know there have been times I did not want to eat, and said I shouldn't eat and didn't like the food or was feeling too full or a little sick.....and then some beloved person came out with a dish that they just wanted me to try so bad.....that I forced myself to eat it. Just to see the happiness on someone elses face and in thier heart. Concentrate on the happiness you will bring us....everyone here that is praying for you at phatmass, by eating a piece of coagulated milk...I know it sounds silly. But How many people can make someone deliriously happy by eating coagulated milk? You sure would make me happy! I know you would make cmom bounce off the wall with joy (moms are like that) Think of every morsel as a victory and every tidbit a little joy that you bring to everyone of us that cares for you. OK..... I am done, Peace out, and prayers, Balty
fearundercontrol Posted November 9, 2006 Author Posted November 9, 2006 I don't like coagulated milk.
Balthazor Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Then eat something you do like. It doesn't have to be coagulated milk.
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