Long Distance Relationships!

[traichuoi]

I'm happy to see others in the same boat as me. I just moved to Minneapolis to go to school and left my bf behind in arizona. It really smells of elderberries. He's dealing with it so much better than me...why is that? Is that a guy thing? He tells me not to worry...but how do you deal with the roller coaster of feelings?

I hate this!!!

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='traichuoi' post='1355287' date='Aug 10 2007, 02:33 PM']I'm happy to see others in the same boat as me. I just moved to Minneapolis to go to school and left my bf behind in arizona. It really smells of elderberries. He's dealing with it so much better than me...why is that? Is that a guy thing? He tells me not to worry...but how do you deal with the roller coaster of feelings?

I hate this!!![/quote]

Thats a looong way Trai!

[kateri05]

[quote]I'm happy to see others in the same boat as me. I just moved to Minneapolis to go to school and left my bf behind in arizona. It really smells of elderberries. He's dealing with it so much better than me...why is that? Is that a guy thing? He tells me not to worry...but how do you deal with the roller coaster of feelings?

I hate this!!![/quote]

let me just say, it totally is. i had a long distance relationship and my (now husband! ) bf dealt with it SOOO much better than i. my moodiness could get scary

i asked him about it, and he said that he dealt with it better by not dealing with it. not that he didn't care or anything, or not love me, or didn't miss me, but its like he could just ignore it, or some weird, testosterone based response that girls just can't do i think, for the most part, guys are like this.

so don't worry, it will get better.... and you'll see him again eventually

[Slappo]

I don't know... I had a long distance relationship and man... when she saw me off at the airport... ...

It was long distance with a 4 hour time difference too. I think it was okay, but it was hard to get to have good long conversations. I think a lack of GOOD communication is what killed our relationship. She was going through some really hard times, and in advertently it was affecting my side of our relationship, but neither of us knew what was going on because of bad communication. It ended up all coming out in a single night and then I freaked out the next morning and broke up . Long distance is hard! That was a year ago TODAY... wow just realized that! I still wonder what'd have happened if I didn't freak and we stuck it out...

[traichuoi]

[quote name='littleflower+JMJ' post='1355477' date='Aug 10 2007, 02:37 PM'] Thats a looong way Trai![/quote]

I know! it totally smells of elderberries...

[traichuoi]

[quote name='kateri05' post='1355486' date='Aug 10 2007, 02:57 PM']let me just say, it totally is. i had a long distance relationship and my (now husband! ) bf dealt with it SOOO much better than i. my moodiness could get scary

i asked him about it, and he said that he dealt with it better by not dealing with it. not that he didn't care or anything, or not love me, or didn't miss me, but its like he could just ignore it, or some weird, testosterone based response that girls just can't do i think, for the most part, guys are like this.

so don't worry, it will get better.... and you'll see him again eventually [/quote]

thanks, Kateri! Makes me feel not so crazy. guys are so weird.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='kateri05' post='1355486' date='Aug 10 2007, 06:57 PM']he could just ignore it, or some weird, testosterone based response that girls just can't do i think, for the most part, guys are like this.[/quote]

Yeah, I don't really envy guys for a lot of things they have, but that "on" and "off" switch with the emotions thing would come in really handy.

[kateri05]

i also think its cool that they don't have to sit down.



well, it seems like it saves time. i'm just saying


/hijack

[missionseeker]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1312053' date='Jul 4 2007, 01:53 AM']I know how you feel (all of you going through long distance).... Matt and I were apart for over a year and a half (with a few visits in between). But we've been back together for almost 2 months and its a little difficult to remember what it was like to be apart. Being together is just THAT good. You'd think I'd be a pro at it, since almost our entire pre-marriage relationship was long distance, too, but really it just stinks. I can deal with it but I hate it.[/quote]

I take comfort in that. That may sound weird, I guess, but I'd also guess you can relate? heh. It's just that people are always asking "how can you really know someone if he is so far away? how do you know that his quirks won't drive you insane?" I don't think I really have an answer to the second, but honestly with the first, I think there are fewer things to take for granted. Like just having to ask "how are you today?" can lead to learning things about that person, you know? so ... idk... I was ust wondering if you ever got those uestions and if/how you answered them. heh.

I am not liking this whole Canada/ two days' drive away.



[quote name='kateri05' post='1356220' date='Aug 10 2007, 11:15 PM']i also think its cool that they don't have to sit down.



well, it seems like it saves time. i'm just saying


/hijack[/quote]

that was the best thread killing post ever.

[tinytherese]

Wow, talk about a resurrected thread!

[StColette]

Wow, old thread!

[missionseeker]

[CatherineM]

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1845697' date='Apr 24 2009, 12:47 AM']I take comfort in that. That may sound weird, I guess, but I'd also guess you can relate? heh. It's just that people are always asking "how can you really know someone if he is so far away? how do you know that his quirks won't drive you insane?" I don't think I really have an answer to the second, but honestly with the first, I think there are fewer things to take for granted. Like just having to ask "how are you today?" can lead to learning things about that person, you know? so ... idk... I was ust wondering if you ever got those uestions and if/how you answered them. heh.

I am not liking this whole Canada/ two days' drive away. [/quote]

Just wrote an article for the Western Catholic Reporter about marriage, especially how we met. One of the things I put in (that I hope doesn't get edited out) was that with a long distance relationship, without the tension of the temptation of a physical relationship, you have to actually talk to each other. In a 3 hour phone call, we would talk about a 100 times more stuff than we would have on a 3 hour date. By the time we first met in person, we practically knew everything there was to know about each other. I truthfully believe that could not have happened if we had lived in the same town.

[rkwright]

I've been doing the long distance relationship for about a year and a half now. We're getting married in 3 months and then it will be 2 years.

We get to see each other on some weekends but not every weekend. It can be tough at first especially after living in the same town for a year or so. But the times on the weekends are great.

Cell phones have helped tons. We basically talk every day. But its not the same. Like for me, I'm very much a "quality time" person and like to have someone's full attention. And girls like to multitask - ie talk on the phone and watch TV\write an email\do something else. haha I dunno but this gets to me! I know in person she doesn't do this, but its that phone!

Also! Wedding planning over the phone has been tough!

3 months can't come soon enough!

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1845697' date='Apr 24 2009, 02:47 AM']I take comfort in that. That may sound weird, I guess, but I'd also guess you can relate? heh. It's just that people are always asking "how can you really know someone if he is so far away? how do you know that his quirks won't drive you insane?" I don't think I really have an answer to the second, but honestly with the first, I think there are fewer things to take for granted. Like just having to ask "how are you today?" can lead to learning things about that person, you know? so ... idk... I was ust wondering if you ever got those uestions and if/how you answered them. heh.

I am not liking this whole Canada/ two days' drive away. [/quote]

Yeah, when we were engaged Matt and I talked SO much, if we couldn't talk on the phone we had daily e-mails and IM chats. We were lucky to be "only" 5 hours apart so he (since he was the one with a car) was able to visit me every couple of weekends. I didn't know all his quirks by the time we got married. I mean, I knew some of them, but not all of them, but we got to know each other so well because long distance forced us to [b]communicate[/b] that quirks were easily overlooked. Does it drive me crazy that he loads the dishwasher backwards? (Yes, backwards, the dishes face the wrong way and bowls don't come clean) Yeah, it totally does, but there are so many GOOD things about him that outweigh the quirks that they barely phase me.

Last week he got involved in a bet with one of the guys he was taking an infantry officers course with. If he or I had been anyone else I probably would have flipped out on him and told him he was a complete moron. But, being who we are, when I found out what happened I laughed and told him he was a dork and I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. He had come home with bites from fire ants all over his wrist, he said it was a "test of wills". I thought he meant that he was in some sort of test out on the firing range or something and couldn't move even though he had ants crawling on him (so I felt bad that his hand was all bit up). Nooooo, they made a bet about who could hold their hand in the ant hill longer. He won.

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1845961' date='Apr 24 2009, 01:13 PM']Just wrote an article for the Western Catholic Reporter about marriage, especially how we met. One of the things I put in (that I hope doesn't get edited out) was that with a long distance relationship, without the tension of the temptation of a physical relationship, you have to actually talk to each other. In a 3 hour phone call, we would talk about a 100 times more stuff than we would have on a 3 hour date. By the time we first met in person, we practically knew everything there was to know about each other. I truthfully believe that could not have happened if we had lived in the same town.[/quote]

I totally agree with this. I actually met Matt in person first, but since we lived in different states most of our communication was over the phone or internet. When we visited in person temptation was surely present, but our transition into married life was so easy because we knew each other so well. Everyone kept telling me the first year would be the hardest and I would think to myself "If this is hard I wonder what easy is like."