Time Magazine Article On Teen Girl Purity

[Excelsior1027]

[url="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1823930,00.html"]http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/...1823930,00.html[/url]

Thoughts, comments?

I thought it was a pretty good article on the whole. I'm glad to see dads taking a more active role in their daughters' lives. I liked the part where it talked about random dating vs. intentional dating, too.

[StColette]

[quote]So he and Lisa came up with a ceremony; they wrote a vow for fathers to recite, a promise "before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the areas of purity," to practice fidelity, shun pornography and walk with honor through a "culture of chaos" and by so doing guide their daughters as well[/quote]

[CatholicDefender]

I'm glad that that article was published. Maybe fathers will be more aware of what their daughter do on dates.

This country has an unfair bias on females. Guys are just as guilty. God's laws apply to everyone.

[CatherineM]

I know things have changed now, but when I was a teenager, my dad practically frisked and interrogated any boy that came near me. I didn't date, but occasionally had male lab partners that had to come over for some school work.

As to intentional dating, he told me I should never date someone that I wouldn't or couldn't marry, because that was what dating was supposed to be for, the investigation of future spouses, not for playtime.

[CatholicDefender]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1604723' date='Jul 21 2008, 07:18 PM']As to intentional dating, he told me I should never date someone that I wouldn't or couldn't marry, because that was what dating was supposed to be for, the investigation of future spouses, not for playtime.[/quote]

That's great advice. Sometimes I wish that I didn't stray away from the Faith in high school and college. Dang modern society. Thank God I'm coming back. That advice your dad gave you is what I'm putting into effect in my own life. No more fornications. No more slavery to sin. Break the cycle!

[CatherineM]

The only other relationship advice he gave me was to not marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without. He died when I was still in college, so he never got to meet my husband, but when we began to see each other, we didn't date. We courted. It's a subtle difference. I had investigated and reviewed that he was a suitable candidate for husband, as he decided in my case as well, before we went out for the first time.

[Ookami]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1604751' date='Jul 21 2008, 07:47 PM']The only other relationship advice he gave me was to not marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without. He died when I was still in college, so he never got to meet my husband, but when we began to see each other, we didn't date. We courted. It's a subtle difference. I had investigated and reviewed that he was a suitable candidate for husband, as he decided in my case as well, before we went out for the first time.[/quote]
Wat sux is when the guy you cant live without can live with out you. *tear* Im hopelessly in love...save me!

[prose]

I totally think that dating is in preparation for marriage. When people say to me "well, what about fun?" I just get irritated.

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='Ookami' post='1604753' date='Jul 21 2008, 06:50 PM']Wat sux is when the guy you cant live without can live with out you. *tear* Im hopelessly in love...save me! [/quote]

Don't worry. There are many many more men out there.

If you [i]really[/i] want peace in the dating life, I recommend an intentional dating fast. Pick a time frame that you won't date for, and then don't date for that period of time. It really works wonders in giving you peace about the whole thing.

You're young yet, anyway. I'm 22, and I need six months to a year to get myself situated before I would really feel comfortable entering the kind of relationship that I want. Maybe I should consider a dating fast?

[HisChildForever]

I think it's a lovely idea, since most young women (including myself) would feel more comfortable talking to their mothers about dating, not their fathers. But like someone mentioned, I think that the young men should have something like this as well.

[Ookami]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1604949' date='Jul 22 2008, 12:17 AM']Don't worry. There are many many more men out there.

If you [i]really[/i] want peace in the dating life, I recommend an intentional dating fast. Pick a time frame that you won't date for, and then don't date for that period of time. It really works wonders in giving you peace about the whole thing.

You're young yet, anyway. I'm 22, and I need six months to a year to get myself situated before I would really feel comfortable entering the kind of relationship that I want. Maybe I should consider a dating fast?[/quote]
I couldnt date another guy now if i tried! I probably wont 4 a while its already been 3 months and im still hopelessly in love with this kid...its killing me and im finding it hard 4 me 2 believe in love anymore.

[J.P.]

Chin up cowgirl *nudges chin*

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='Ookami' post='1605167' date='Jul 22 2008, 11:35 AM']I couldnt date another guy now if i tried! I probably wont 4 a while its already been 3 months and im still hopelessly in love with this kid...its killing me and im finding it hard 4 me 2 believe in love anymore. [/quote]

Been there! Isn't love a wonderful thing?

Seriously. Take some time off. Plot out, say, three months. Take the time for yourself. Try to get in a regular prayer schedule, too. Get to know God and yourself better. I can't give any better dating advice than that -- "Nosce te ipsum" ... know thyself. You'll be so much happier if you do.

[Ookami]

[quote name='J.P.' post='1605182' date='Jul 22 2008, 12:57 PM']Chin up cowgirl *nudges chin* [/quote]
thnx.

[Ookami]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605337' date='Jul 22 2008, 04:51 PM']Been there! Isn't love a wonderful thing?

Seriously. Take some time off. Plot out, say, three months. Take the time for yourself. Try to get in a regular prayer schedule, too. Get to know God and yourself better. I can't give any better dating advice than that -- "Nosce te ipsum" ... know thyself. You'll be so much happier if you do.[/quote]
no...ugh! i hate love...

[J.P.]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605337' date='Jul 22 2008, 02:51 PM']Been there! Isn't love a wonderful thing?

Seriously. Take some time off. Plot out, say, three months. Take the time for yourself. Try to get in a regular prayer schedule, too. Get to know God and yourself better. I can't give any better dating advice than that -- "Nosce te ipsum" ... know thyself. You'll be so much happier if you do.[/quote]

Agreed. *Two thumbs up* Count one more who's been there. Its not as bad as you think.

[quote name='Ookami' post='1605357' date='Jul 22 2008, 03:10 PM']thnx. [/quote]

No worries

[Sarah_JC]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1604949' date='Jul 21 2008, 10:17 PM']Don't worry. There are many many more men out there.

If you [i]really[/i] want peace in the dating life, I recommend an intentional dating fast. Pick a time frame that you won't date for, and then don't date for that period of time. It really works wonders in giving you peace about the whole thing.

You're young yet, anyway. I'm 22, and I need six months to a year to get myself situated before I would really feel comfortable entering the kind of relationship that I want. Maybe I should consider a dating fast?[/quote]

My future husband and I developed feelings for each other while each of us had sworn off dating. A month in to my 6 month fast, and a few months into his year long fast... ha ha. We started dating 20 days before my fast was over. But, it was a Marian feast day, and we'd just finished consecrating ourselves to Mary.

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='Sarah_JC' post='1605405' date='Jul 22 2008, 05:34 PM']My future husband and I developed feelings for each other while each of us had sworn off dating. A month in to my 6 month fast, and a few months into his year long fast... ha ha. We started dating 20 days before my fast was over. But, it was a Marian feast day, and we'd just finished consecrating ourselves to Mary.[/quote]

No way! Was it the de Montfortian consecration? That seriously changed my life.

I swear, I think I'm going to name my first son Louis de Montfort.

[J.P.]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1604723' date='Jul 21 2008, 05:18 PM']As to intentional dating, he told me I should never date someone that I wouldn't or couldn't marry, because that was what dating was supposed to be for, the investigation of future spouses, not for playtime.[/quote]

I know exactly what you mean Catherine, but I think that dating/courting is supposed to be fun. I know thats not what you meant your post, but I still think that its important for all those young mouldable minds to know and understand that they should seek someone that they can laugh with so hard that they end up with washboard abs.

Boy...my high school english teacher would have slaughtered me for that run-on-sentence.

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605432' date='Jul 22 2008, 05:06 PM']I swear, I think I'm going to name my first son Louis de Montfort.[/quote]

That's an stellar name. Permission to hijack?

Edited July 22, 2008 by J.P.

[picchick]

[quote name='Ookami' post='1604753' date='Jul 21 2008, 06:50 PM']Wat sux is when the guy you cant live without can live with out you. *tear* Im hopelessly in love...save me! [/quote]


[quote name='Ookami' post='1605167' date='Jul 22 2008, 11:35 AM']I couldnt date another guy now if i tried! I probably wont 4 a while its already been 3 months and im still hopelessly in love with this kid...its killing me and im finding it hard 4 me 2 believe in love anymore. [/quote]

Oh my goodness!!! I have been there My boyfriend of about 3 years broke up with me in January. We were very close. In the future we were going to get married. We were not officially engaged, he had not asked me but we had talked about it. I was broken after January. It was very hard because I was in my last semester and it was the hardest semester of the school year. Nusring school hit us really hard. There were times where I did not think I'd make it. That on top of my boyfriend breaking up with me was very very difficult. I found out quickly that the love I had for him was not returned. He was able to move on faster than I and was over me rather quickly. It was very sad and hard for me. At first I thought that I would never have a crush on someone let alone love someone again. I prayed and prayed to God and He allowed my heart to heal. I was soon able to close the door on that part of my life.
It is ok now. I am not longer sad but happy. And I have crushes on people!! To me it is amazing. I am all teary eyed thinking about how wonderful God is. There are times that I miss being able to hold someone's hand or being able to call someone mine but I know that God has someone out there planned in my future. Somedays it is really hard to wait for that guy. It gets me down but I know that my patience will pay off because this guy that is coming is going to be more awesome than I can imagine

The same is for you. You are young. Younger than me. You have so much time for God to reveal His will for you. He will give someone to you that will amaze you time and time again. He will respect you and love you for everything that you are. He will take who you are in stride and be amazed at you. Pray to God for help and support. He will heal your heart quickly and allow you to be happy. He has for me. He will not let you down

Meg