Time Magazine Article On Teen Girl Purity

[J.P.]

[quote name='picchick' post='1605481' date='Jul 22 2008, 05:39 PM']Oh my goodness!!! I have been there My boyfriend of about 3 years broke up with me in January. We were very close. In the future we were going to get married. We were not officially engaged, he had not asked me but we had talked about it. I was broken after January. It was very hard because I was in my last semester and it was the hardest semester of the school year. Nusring school hit us really hard. There were times where I did not think I'd make it. That on top of my boyfriend breaking up with me was very very difficult. I found out quickly that the love I had for him was not returned. He was able to move on faster than I and was over me rather quickly. It was very sad and hard for me. At first I thought that I would never have a crush on someone let alone love someone again. I prayed and prayed to God and He allowed my heart to heal. I was soon able to close the door on that part of my life.
It is ok now. I am not longer sad but happy. And I have crushes on people!! To me it is amazing. I am all teary eyed thinking about how wonderful God is. There are times that I miss being able to hold someone's hand or being able to call someone mine but I know that God has someone out there planned in my future. Somedays it is really hard to wait for that guy. It gets me down but I know that my patience will pay off because this guy that is coming is going to be more awesome than I can imagine

The same is for you. You are young. Younger than me. You have so much time for God to reveal His will for you. He will give someone to you that will amaze you time and time again. He will respect you and love you for everything that you are. He will take who you are in stride and be amazed at you. Pray to God for help and support. He will heal your heart quickly and allow you to be happy. He has for me. He will not let you down

Meg[/quote]

Great testimony.

*Applauds* Encore!

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='J.P.' post='1605452' date='Jul 22 2008, 06:20 PM']That's an stellar name. Permission to hijack? [/quote]

Go for it. He's a saint, a priest, and a SERIOUS devotee of the Blessed Mother. I can't think of a better name for a baby boy.

Well, John Paul is a good one, too ...

[rkwright]

gah.. meg.. what dummy dumped you?!

[picchick]

[quote name='J.P.' post='1605486' date='Jul 22 2008, 06:47 PM']Great testimony.

*Applauds* Encore![/quote]
Thanks, that was actually the first time that I shared it on PM. I am telling ya, God is awesome!


[quote name='rkwright' post='1605497' date='Jul 22 2008, 07:10 PM']gah.. meg.. what dummy dumped you?![/quote]

I don't know if I'd call him a dummy....what is meant to be is meant to be right? Obviously it wasn't meant to be. And I mean I wasn't perfect in the relationship either. It's ok though, God's got someone for me Just gotta wait.

Edited July 22, 2008 by picchick

[picchick]

You know, back the article. I hope that this gets more media attention. I think that it is beautiful the way the fathers participate in this. It gives the girls a role model on what to look for in a man. Someone who stresses purity and protects their own purity as well as their girlfriend's.

Good job Time

[Ash Wednesday]

It's amazing how when your heart is broken from a failed relationship -- some time later, in hindsight the person you break up with will not hold a candle to the Mr. or Mrs. Right you meet later (or your vocation to religious life if that's what God calls you to.)

[Sarah_JC]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605432' date='Jul 22 2008, 05:06 PM']No way! Was it the de Montfortian consecration? That seriously changed my life.

I swear, I think I'm going to name my first son Louis de Montfort.[/quote]

It WAS! I think we might need a separate thread.

[Excelsior1027]

[quote name='picchick' post='1605502' date='Jul 22 2008, 07:25 PM']You know, back the article. I hope that this gets more media attention. I think that it is beautiful the way the fathers participate in this. It gives the girls a role model on what to look for in a man. Someone who stresses purity and protects their own purity as well as their girlfriend's.

Good job Time [/quote]
Yes, I give a tip of my hat to whoever it was who wanted to include that in the issue. I pray it will at least make some people think about it, ya know? I wouldn't really expect people to read it and then have a huge conversion (not that I wouldn't love that!), but when people really think objectively about purity and chastity I think it makes sense.

[tinytherese]

I found this prayer in a book called "Theology of the Body for Teens" about finding the one that God wills for us. Instead of us talking to Him though, here He talks to US!

"Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, my child. But until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists-one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must be patient.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking at Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready...until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me...and this is perfect love.

[J.P.]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605494' date='Jul 22 2008, 06:00 PM']Well, John Paul is a good one, too ...[/quote]

My parents are very wise.

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='J.P.' post='1605653' date='Jul 22 2008, 11:41 PM']My parents are very wise.[/quote]

LOL! So that's what J.P. stands for?

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1605634' date='Jul 22 2008, 11:29 PM']I found this prayer in a book called "Theology of the Body for Teens" about finding the one that God wills for us. Instead of us talking to Him though, here He talks to US!

"Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, my child. But until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists-one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must be patient.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking at Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready...until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me...and this is perfect love.[/quote]

That's pretty awesome!

So, here's a question:

We're always told that we need to wait for God to show us who He wants for us. Then, guys are told that we have to be the one to initiate the relationship and take risks. I'm not sure if there is one, but I feel a slight paradox here. How does a guy "wait for God to show us what he wants for us", but then still take the initiative? Both ideas just don't quite mesh together for me.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='mommas_boy' post='1605691' date='Jul 23 2008, 12:03 AM']That's pretty awesome!

So, here's a question:

We're always told that we need to wait for God to show us who He wants for us. Then, guys are told that we have to be the one to initiate the relationship and take risks. I'm not sure if there is one, but I feel a slight paradox here. How does a guy "wait for God to show us what he wants for us", but then still take the initiative? Both ideas just don't quite mesh together for me.[/quote]

Correct, grasshoppa, they don't mesh; it's a bunch of nonsense. And luckily for you, it took you 15-20 less years than it took for me to figure that out. That whole "you need to be satisfied completely with God before you can handle a relationship" is a recent invention. After all, if we could be satisfied completely with God, that means we could handle lifelong celibacy, and there's a good chance we'd be wearing collars. It's also a standard few if any of us will achieve until after we undergo our purification in purgatory, and besides, if Mother Theresa could not obtain complete satisfaction with God, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I really would like to ask the person who put that thing in the book where that quote came from. Is it really an utterance of God? To whom was it given? When? Where? Was it shared with the magisterium? Is it strictly a private revelation (keeping in mind that private revelations are not binding on the general public)? Otherwise, if someone is making stuff up and saying it comes from God....well, he/she could be in a whole heap of trouble (can you say "blasphemy", boys and girls?) and I will definitely be avoiding him/her if we get serious thunderstorms.

The whole "wait for your spouse to be sent to you" probably only applies to females, since they are the ones that are supposed to be pursued by the males (and this comes from a question from the young lady who ran the National Catholic Singles Conference), and even so, thinking that our spouses are pre-chosen for us is theologically dangerous in that it smacks of Calvinism, goes against what CCC 2230 says indirectly about people choose their spouses and state of life, and in general could breed complacency and could lead people to stop taking responsibility for their actions if they have a "well, it was meant to be" attitude (see Sirach 15). Trust me, I've seen it.

Here's a blog to chew on:

[url="http://thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com/"]http://thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com/[/url]

[picchick]

[quote name='Norseman82' post='1605787' date='Jul 23 2008, 02:06 AM']Correct, grasshoppa, they don't mesh; it's a bunch of nonsense. And luckily for you, it took you 15-20 less years than it took for me to figure that out. That whole "you need to be satisfied completely with God before you can handle a relationship" is a recent invention. After all, if we could be satisfied completely with God, that means we could handle lifelong celibacy, and there's a good chance we'd be wearing collars. It's also a standard few if any of us will achieve until after we undergo our purification in purgatory, and besides, if Mother Theresa could not obtain complete satisfaction with God, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I really would like to ask the person who put that thing in the book where that quote came from. Is it really an utterance of God? To whom was it given? When? Where? Was it shared with the magisterium? Is it strictly a private revelation (keeping in mind that private revelations are not binding on the general public)? Otherwise, if someone is making stuff up and saying it comes from God....well, he/she could be in a whole heap of trouble (can you say "blasphemy", boys and girls?) and I will definitely be avoiding him/her if we get serious thunderstorms.

The whole "wait for your spouse to be sent to you" probably only applies to females, since they are the ones that are supposed to be pursued by the males (and this comes from a question from the young lady who ran the National Catholic Singles Conference), and even so, thinking that our spouses are pre-chosen for us is theologically dangerous in that it smacks of Calvinism, goes against what CCC 2230 says indirectly about people choose their spouses and state of life, and in general could breed complacency and could lead people to stop taking responsibility for their actions if they have a "well, it was meant to be" attitude (see Sirach 15). Trust me, I've seen it.

Here's a blog to chew on:

[url="http://thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com/"]http://thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com/[/url][/quote]

God does have someone picked out for you...that doesn't mean sit around to wait passively for them...and that means BOTH girls and boys. Let me tell ya, girls don't sit and look pretty to wait for some guy to come a long.

Meg

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='picchick' post='1605819' date='Jul 23 2008, 07:59 AM']Let me tell ya, girls don't sit and look pretty to wait for some guy to come a long.[/quote]
No, we most certainly don't.

As for what that passage was saying about being content with where you are - I do think you need to be content being single before being in a relationship. Not that you can't want to meet that someone and get married, but that you aren't obsessed with that. So every time you meet someone of the opposite sex you don't immediately start asking if they're "the one". But allow things to unfold. And I think it was speaking to the fact that you can't expect to find someone and then suddenly be happy. The purpose of a relationship is not to make you happy - that makes the relationship rather selfish. Anyway, that's what I got out of that blurb that was posted.

[Ash Wednesday]

I think on a certain level there is such a thing as fate or a spouse that coincides with a kind of "meant to be" sort of thing, or at least there's potential, but I think we can be compatible with a lot of people and not just one person. (Otherwise what hope would widowers have after losing a spouse?) We have vocational callings, but we also have free will and a multitude of choices as well.

I think on my own personal journey towards getting married, is that I had to get over that hangup of what my "plan" is, whether or not someone I was with was "The One" and whether or not it was "in God's plan." I'm not explaining myself very well, but with the wrong mindset and not having a proper understanding of what it means when God has a plan for you, you either fluctuate between a kind of naivate where you end up jumping into things without thinking things though and just assume God will do all the work for you, or else you are doubled over in anxiety and worried about whether or not God's going to strike you down for not following his plan to the letter. (Oops, you did it wrong. No turning back now! You're going to hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.)

For me personally, I've realized over time that God allows for life to be a little more fluid than what I had thought before. Previously I did have that almost Calvinistic concept of "God's plan" and the one "God had chosen for me to marry" -- so when things didn't work out with someone I thought was "the One", I was devastated. I went from being really naive about love and marriage, to not having any trust in God at all in whatever decisions I made afterwards. It took me a long time to regain my sense of trust.

He presents opportunities to us, but he can't force you to do one thing or another. Your vocational direction has to be your own freely chosen decision considered with a great deal of prayer and trust. It certainly makes it easier to serve God when you know it's something you've freely chosen to do, by your own will. You own up to your own vocational responsibilities in that regard instead of "blaming God" when things aren't going right.


One of the things that is difficult these days, is finding "marriage material." I guess Catholic dating sites and the internet do help like-minded people connect, though. It certainly has helped a couple of people on here.

It seems to me that we generally aren't meant to develop a relationship with God on our own in solitude. Our relationship with God is molded, in part, through the people we meet. Be it spouses, children, friends, even enemies.

And I don't know where all this philosophical rambling came from. I'm just waiting for my doctor's appointment.

Edited July 23, 2008 by Ash Wednesday

[Ookami]

[quote name='picchick' post='1605481' date='Jul 22 2008, 07:39 PM']Oh my goodness!!! I have been there My boyfriend of about 3 years broke up with me in January. We were very close. In the future we were going to get married. We were not officially engaged, he had not asked me but we had talked about it. I was broken after January. It was very hard because I was in my last semester and it was the hardest semester of the school year. Nusring school hit us really hard. There were times where I did not think I'd make it. That on top of my boyfriend breaking up with me was very very difficult. I found out quickly that the love I had for him was not returned. He was able to move on faster than I and was over me rather quickly. It was very sad and hard for me. At first I thought that I would never have a crush on someone let alone love someone again. I prayed and prayed to God and He allowed my heart to heal. I was soon able to close the door on that part of my life.
It is ok now. I am not longer sad but happy. And I have crushes on people!! To me it is amazing. I am all teary eyed thinking about how wonderful God is. There are times that I miss being able to hold someone's hand or being able to call someone mine but I know that God has someone out there planned in my future. Somedays it is really hard to wait for that guy. It gets me down but I know that my patience will pay off because this guy that is coming is going to be more awesome than I can imagine

The same is for you. You are young. Younger than me. You have so much time for God to reveal His will for you. He will give someone to you that will amaze you time and time again. He will respect you and love you for everything that you are. He will take who you are in stride and be amazed at you. Pray to God for help and support. He will heal your heart quickly and allow you to be happy. He has for me. He will not let you down

Meg[/quote]
thnx that means alot...I am a very affectionate person with alot of love 2 giv and i really need someone 2 giv it 2! hopefully ill find someone who can handel me! lol!

[Ookami]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1605844' date='Jul 23 2008, 09:26 AM']No, we most certainly don't.

As for what that passage was saying about being content with where you are - I do think you need to be content being single before being in a relationship. Not that you can't want to meet that someone and get married, but that you aren't obsessed with that. So every time you meet someone of the opposite sex you don't immediately start asking if they're "the one". But allow things to unfold. And I think it was speaking to the fact that you can't expect to find someone and then suddenly be happy. The purpose of a relationship is not to make you happy - that makes the relationship rather selfish. Anyway, that's what I got out of that blurb that was posted. [/quote]
Im done trying 2 be someone else 4 someone 2 love me! I think thats where divorces start eventually u get tired of faking who u r 4 someone u dont truly love. I still do love my Sean though...*tear* but instead of hating him i pray 4 him and hope someday our paths will cross again or he will find someone who is perfect 4 him! Ive tried 2 hate him...but i cant I love him far 2 much hate gets us nowhere! (besides hell) Nvr hate those who've hurt u show them love and someday u'll be granted the same love in return maybe not by that person but from the perfect person 4 u.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Ookami' post='1605875' date='Jul 23 2008, 02:40 PM']Im done trying 2 be someone else 4 someone 2 love me! I think thats where divorces start eventually u get tired of faking who u r 4 someone u dont truly love. I still do love my Sean though...*tear* but instead of hating him i pray 4 him and hope someday our paths will cross again or he will find someone who is perfect 4 him! Ive tried 2 hate him...but i cant I love him far 2 much hate gets us nowhere! (besides hell) Nvr hate those who've hurt u show them love and someday u'll be granted the same love in return maybe not by that person but from the perfect person 4 u.[/quote]
Oh no, you definitely shouldn't feel like you have to be "someone else" in order to find love! As a friend of mine said, your spouse (if you're called to be married) will find everything about you "wildly attractive" because it's you, and no one else.

In my earlier post I was more or less rambling from my experience/perspective, and trying to identify what the blurb from Theology of the Body for Teens was trying to say.

You're right that you shouldn't hate those who hurt you, but to show them love instead. It's a difficult thing to do sometimes. OK, most of the time.

[Ookami]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1605887' date='Jul 23 2008, 10:54 AM']Oh no, you definitely shouldn't feel like you have to be "someone else" in order to find love! As a friend of mine said, your spouse (if you're called to be married) will find everything about you "wildly attractive" because it's you, and no one else.

In my earlier post I was more or less rambling from my experience/perspective, and trying to identify what the blurb from Theology of the Body for Teens was trying to say.

You're right that you shouldn't hate those who hurt you, but to show them love instead. It's a difficult thing to do sometimes. OK, most of the time.[/quote]

I just cant wait 2 find that person who goes crazy over me! I know im called 2 have children! wether by means of a husband or adoption idk maybe both! but I will wait and pray about it im only 16 ive got some time left 2 find the right guy!