Self Abuse=mortal Sin?

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Fragments' timestamp='1281602033' post='2156383']
I have been diagnosed with depression and DID, I have disordered eating patterns, and a skewed sense of self. But I've had CBT and DBT and other talking therapies and have been effectively undiagnosed. The first two times I left therapy was because each therapist thought they'd gone as far as they could. The last time I was really upset about something she said, the DBT was impossible and I basically ran away from it, after trying to contact me a couple of times they pretty much gave up.

The real issue behind me self harming was that I do not believe I deserve to be happy. I don't deserve the food, love. I deserve to be punished as much as I can be. However, sort of despite my judgement, I am attempting to give it up.

I don't know whether what I was doing was excusable considering circumstances, whether it was the right thing to be doing or whether I've sinned in taking my punishment into my own hands?
[/quote]
I would suggest that maybe you're tending towards scrupulosity. That's common with those in the process or recently finished with the process of converting.
The one size fits all solution obviously would be Confession. Whether or not you're personally culpable isn't really all that relevant once it's confessed. Of course in your situation I'm assuming this has to wait a little while.

There aren't many people who can address your circumstances. I'm really hesitant to even approach the topic in the context of a somewhat impersonal message board. Like I said before, my free speculation is that your culpability would be significantly reduced as a consequence of your psychological conditions, but I can't say that with any sort of authority since I don't know you well.

You should keep in mind though, that continuing to worry about it is probably just going to make you feel worse. I'd recommend praying an [url="http://www.catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=940"]Act of Contrition[/url] as often as you feel the need, confess as soon as you're given the opportunity, and in the meantime to trust in God's infinite, loving mercy.

[Fragments]

Yeah, I have to wait a little while until I can confess. It's sort of a life long problem so perhaps I am just a scrupulous person?

Thank you for replying even though you are not fully capable, I appreciate any other point of view.



Thank you for the advice. I shall do so.