Menstruation Is Pointless.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Marie-Therese' date='28 August 2009 - 04:18 PM' timestamp='1251494290' post='1957404']
To have a genuinely female-empathetic experience:

Step 1. Drink water until the entirety of your body is swollen and tender. Then drink more to ensure frequent trips to the toilet.
Step 2. Hit yourself in the small of the back with a sledgehammer. This will serve a dual purpose: first, it will make you experience the sensation of low back pain related to cramps, and second, it will make you hella irritable.
Step 3. Beginning just above the navel, cut yourself open with a rusty, dull blade. This will maximize discomfort. Take all intestines out, knot them in a giant wad, and then drape them up over your head. Now you have the weird hot flashes, probable headache, and terrible abdominal pain.
Step 4. Maximize blood loss by leaving the wound open.

Congratulations. Now do it again next month, for the next 30-40 years of your life. Only disruption to the cycle is to take 9 months off in order to swell to the size of an elephant and then pass something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a walnut.
[/quote]



[quote name='MIkolbe' date='28 August 2009 - 06:24 PM' timestamp='1251501853' post='1957484']


like the blade needs to be rusty...TOTAL EMBELLISHMENT

you chicks exaggerate so much.
[/quote]


I knew you were gonna say that.

[Christie_M]

[quote name='Marie-Therese' date='28 August 2009 - 03:18 PM' timestamp='1251494290' post='1957404']
To have a genuinely female-empathetic experience:

Step 1. Drink water until the entirety of your body is swollen and tender. Then drink more to ensure frequent trips to the toilet.
Step 2. Hit yourself in the small of the back with a sledgehammer. This will serve a dual purpose: first, it will make you experience the sensation of low back pain related to cramps, and second, it will make you hella irritable.
Step 3. Beginning just above the navel, cut yourself open with a rusty, dull blade. This will maximize discomfort. Take all intestines out, knot them in a giant wad, and then drape them up over your head. Now you have the weird hot flashes, probable headache, and terrible abdominal pain.
Step 4. Maximize blood loss by leaving the wound open.

Congratulations. Now do it again next month, for the next 30-40 years of your life. Only disruption to the cycle is to take 9 months off in order to swell to the size of an elephant and then pass something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a walnut.
[/quote]

that was great!

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Marie-Therese' date='28 August 2009 - 10:18 PM' timestamp='1251494290' post='1957404']
To have a genuinely female-empathetic experience:

Step 1. Drink water until the entirety of your body is swollen and tender. Then drink more to ensure frequent trips to the toilet.
Step 2. Hit yourself in the small of the back with a sledgehammer. This will serve a dual purpose: first, it will make you experience the sensation of low back pain related to cramps, and second, it will make you hella irritable.
Step 3. Beginning just above the navel, cut yourself open with a rusty, dull blade. This will maximize discomfort. Take all intestines out, knot them in a giant wad, and then drape them up over your head. Now you have the weird hot flashes, probable headache, and terrible abdominal pain.
Step 4. Maximize blood loss by leaving the wound open.

Congratulations. Now do it again next month, for the next 30-40 years of your life. Only disruption to the cycle is to take 9 months off in order to swell to the size of an elephant and then pass something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a walnut.
[/quote]
Oh, and don't forget that at the end of that 9 month "break", during which you are sick for months at a time and have wonderful back pain and RLP, that you then bleed for up to 6 weeks and have those wonderful cramps as your uterus shrinks back to it's normal size.

Edited August 29, 2009 by Archaeology cat

[VeniteAdoremus]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='29 August 2009 - 11:29 AM' timestamp='1251534555' post='1957698']
Oh, and don't forget that at the end of that 9 month "break", during which you are sick for months at a time and have wonderful back pain and RLP, that you then bleed for up to 6 weeks and have those wonderful cramps as your uterus shrinks back to it's normal size.
[/quote]

That's it, I'm going to be a celibate.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='VeniteAdoremus' date='29 August 2009 - 05:55 PM' timestamp='1251564937' post='1957897']
That's it, I'm going to be a celibate.
[/quote]
But you do get a cute kid out of the deal. The up side to having had bad periods all my life is that I didn't think labour was all that bad (except for the sciatic pain - that was a killer).

[rachael]

I was gonna adopt.

[Fidei Defensor]

I, for one, feel really bad for women.

I get cramps from my IBS and I can only imagine how bad things are for women if their cramps feel anything like mine.

Edited August 30, 2009 by fidei defensor

[VeniteAdoremus]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='29 August 2009 - 07:59 PM' timestamp='1251565146' post='1957899']
But you do get a cute kid out of the deal. The up side to having had bad periods all my life is that I didn't think labour was all that bad (except for the sciatic pain - that was a killer).
[/quote]

This is true.

That's why I'm nagging my brother to give me nephews and nieces already

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='29 August 2009 - 12:59 PM' timestamp='1251565146' post='1957899']
But you do get a cute kid out of the deal. The up side to having had bad periods all my life is that I didn't think labour was all that bad (except for the sciatic pain - that was a killer).
[/quote]
I'm hoping I'll have a similar experience. Although, I always take drugs for menstrual cramping, so if I go sans drugs for childbirth it could really be bad.

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='30 August 2009 - 12:41 PM' timestamp='1251650505' post='1958314']
I, for one, feel really bad for women.

I get cramps from my IBS and I can only imagine how bad things are for women if their cramps feel anything like mine.
[/quote]
Having experienced both, IBS cramps are worse, in my experience. I'll have to tell you how labor measures up.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='30 August 2009 - 05:41 PM' timestamp='1251650505' post='1958314']
I, for one, feel really bad for women.

I get cramps from my IBS and I can only imagine how bad things are for women if their cramps feel anything like mine.
[/quote]
I hope they're able to help your IBS.

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='30 August 2009 - 10:58 AM' timestamp='1251651511' post='1958329']
I hope they're able to help your IBS.
[/quote]
It's been okay, lately. A high fiber diet is really helpful. And I have meds in case it gets really bad, but I rarely resort to those.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='30 August 2009 - 06:50 PM' timestamp='1251654619' post='1958375']
It's been okay, lately. A high fiber diet is really helpful. And I have meds in case it gets really bad, but I rarely resort to those.
[/quote]
Glad to hear that.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='fidei defensor' date='30 August 2009 - 01:50 PM' timestamp='1251654619' post='1958375']
It's been okay, lately. A high fiber diet is really helpful. And I have meds in case it gets really bad, but I rarely resort to those.
[/quote]
What did they give you?

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' date='30 August 2009 - 03:39 PM' timestamp='1251668393' post='1958460']
What did they give you?
[/quote]
Hyoscyamine (Levsin)

[Marie-Therese]

Levsin? That's interesting. It's great for smooth muscle spasm. I typically have given it to patients experiencing bladder spasm.

Glad to know you are having some relief!