Why Do People Register On Pm And Then Never Post?

[Dan]

I was somwhat reluktent to rite since my spelking tends to go frum worse to worsterer at any one pint in thyme.


But, after a while, I said, "Dan ( for indeed that was my name ), what doez it mattur? Dey can figur it out if theey wish".

[heavenseeker]

[quote name='zunshynn' post='1910901' date='Jul 4 2009, 07:21 PM'] Why does that happen so much? [/quote]
Idk, its one of those questions that i have pondered myself.
It really doesn't make any sense because the only thing that i am aware of that you need an account for is to post. if all they want to do is read the threads or other stuff they should be able to do that no problem.

[Dan]

As an aside, I just noticed that I have been upgraded from "Lower life form" to "May have some potential"...

YIPPIE

[heavenseeker]

[quote name='Dan' post='1915491' date='Jul 9 2009, 10:30 AM']

As an aside, I just noticed that I have been upgraded from "Lower life form" to "May have some potential"...

YIPPIE [/quote]

[VeniteAdoremus]

[quote name='Dan' post='1915491' date='Jul 9 2009, 05:30 PM']

As an aside, I just noticed that I have been upgraded from "Lower life form" to "May have some potential"...

YIPPIE [/quote]

Congratulations

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1914232' date='Jul 8 2009, 07:49 AM']

Too true.

I think one reason people don't post is that we regulars are very comfortable with each other. It can be hard to see right away where you fit in with a group of people who know each other well.[/quote]
That might be exactly it. Over a year later I'm not always 100% comfortable.

[princessgianna]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1914232' date='Jul 8 2009, 07:49 AM']I think one reason people don't post is that we regulars are very comfortable with each other. It can be hard to see right away where you fit in with a group of people who know each other well.[/quote]
I totally agree to this. It is always hard getting in the group. Even if the group is totally accepting. Many people are super shy, not to mention all the inside jokes. It takes a couple months to get the swing of things.

[stbensgirl]

OK, I'll take the bait and reply to this. It's interesting seeing some of the guesses as to why people register but never post. Several of them apply to me, but the main one, no one has guessed. I am a little shy, do have a life, am pretty normal (in a crazy kind of way), and yes, I'm an alien. (Name of home planet is a secret. Sorry.) Familiarity among cliques and insiders doesn't bother me. I have posted a few times.

What no one's guessed is that it might be the tone of the forum, that what I'm interested in doesn't resonate with anyone else. In reading posts of various threads, I come across only one or two people who really seem to have any substance, at least in their posts. Admittedly, that's judgmental, and I apologize for that, but it's part of seeing where you fit in. So, I sense that I'm a little out-of-phase with the people on PM. When I was discerning religious life, it was invaluable, and for a while, I hung out a lot on Vocation Station and drank in everything. It was like I couldn't get enough. But I was new so couldn't post there, was kind of put off by that even though I understood the reason, and then I began moving through different states of mind and life got busy... You know how it is.

My best friend in the world, and probably of my whole life (I'm 52 as of this moment), just entered the monastery. Just prior to entering, she was very active here and posted a lot on Vocation Station. She even posted a question on Vocation Station on my behalf, but the topic was not a winner. Three people replied, mostly to wish her well, as that was her last post. We're talking about walburga, and the topic she entered on my behalf was on spiritual motherhood.

I don't post because I feel that my discernment path is going in a direction that no one here is really interested in. Very recently, my discernment came to a natural and restful close as I determined (with gratitude and relief) that I am lay. However, within that lies a whole world of vocation possibilities, and how I'm going to live my lay vocation is of great interest to me. Nothing's decided. The discernment continues. I'd love to explore these avenues, hear what others are doing, etc. (Remember, I already tried this once.) The nature of the topic is vocation, yet it's abundantly clear that Vocation Station is not about the lay vocation. It's about religious life, and that's not where I'm going. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not whining, it's just how it looks to me.

A facet of posting when you're going through something very interior and it feels like you have your whole life in your hands is that it almost feels disrespectful to get shallow, silly little responses. (The length of a nun's veil has nothing to do with how spiritual they are.) Not sure how to get the level of thoughtful exchange I'm interested in since so much goes into the effort of representing yourself in writing. I am a writer by profession, so coming here to write some more is a significant decision.

I guess it comes down to the fact that my personality, the nature of the public forum, and the demands on my time all conspire against me being a good member. I check VS because walburga is still interested in a few people, but I can't post there, so... And I check out various threads looking for a reason to post, but rarely find it. I could start a thread, but my expectations are so low that I don't.

However, I love the site. It's so well done, it's amazing. I'm so glad there's a place like this. But will I stay? Will I post? Not sure. Maybe.

Thanks for listening. Have a good day, now, y'hear?

lauraleigh

[VoTeckam]

[quote name='stbensgirl' post='1916652' date='Jul 10 2009, 01:00 PM']OK, I'll take the bait and reply to this. It's interesting seeing some of the guesses as to why people register but never post. Several of them apply to me, but the main one, no one has guessed. I am a little shy, do have a life, am pretty normal (in a crazy kind of way), and yes, I'm an alien. (Name of home planet is a secret. Sorry.) Familiarity among cliques and insiders doesn't bother me. I have posted a few times.

What no one's guessed is that it might be the tone of the forum, that what I'm interested in doesn't resonate with anyone else. In reading posts of various threads, I come across only one or two people who really seem to have any substance, at least in their posts. Admittedly, that's judgmental, and I apologize for that, but it's part of seeing where you fit in. So, I sense that I'm a little out-of-phase with the people on PM. When I was discerning religious life, it was invaluable, and for a while, I hung out a lot on Vocation Station and drank in everything. It was like I couldn't get enough. But I was new so couldn't post there, was kind of put off by that even though I understood the reason, and then I began moving through different states of mind and life got busy... You know how it is.

My best friend in the world, and probably of my whole life (I'm 52 as of this moment), just entered the monastery. Just prior to entering, she was very active here and posted a lot on Vocation Station. She even posted a question on Vocation Station on my behalf, but the topic was not a winner. Three people replied, mostly to wish her well, as that was her last post. We're talking about walburga, and the topic she entered on my behalf was on spiritual motherhood.

I don't post because I feel that my discernment path is going in a direction that no one here is really interested in. Very recently, my discernment came to a natural and restful close as I determined (with gratitude and relief) that I am lay. However, within that lies a whole world of vocation possibilities, and how I'm going to live my lay vocation is of great interest to me. Nothing's decided. The discernment continues. I'd love to explore these avenues, hear what others are doing, etc. (Remember, I already tried this once.) The nature of the topic is vocation, yet it's abundantly clear that Vocation Station is not about the lay vocation. It's about religious life, and that's not where I'm going. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not whining, it's just how it looks to me.

A facet of posting when you're going through something very interior and it feels like you have your whole life in your hands is that it almost feels disrespectful to get shallow, silly little responses. (The length of a nun's veil has nothing to do with how spiritual they are.) Not sure how to get the level of thoughtful exchange I'm interested in since so much goes into the effort of representing yourself in writing. I am a writer by profession, so coming here to write some more is a significant decision.

I guess it comes down to the fact that my personality, the nature of the public forum, and the demands on my time all conspire against me being a good member. I check VS because walburga is still interested in a few people, but I can't post there, so... And I check out various threads looking for a reason to post, but rarely find it. I could start a thread, but my expectations are so low that I don't.

However, I love the site. It's so well done, it's amazing. I'm so glad there's a place like this. But will I stay? Will I post? Not sure. Maybe.

Thanks for listening. Have a good day, now, y'hear?

lauraleigh[/quote]


Thank you for posting. I have often felt the same way that you do. I would advise that you continue to check in on the phorum occassionally. Even if you never have a high post count or if you never make yuor way into the phatmass "in crowd" there will undoubtedly be a few members that share your views, concerns, priorities, and even frustrations.

I actually came to phatmass a few years ago and only visited vocation station as well. I felt lost there even then because I knew that if relgious life was my calling that I would eventually enter an active/contemplative order and most girls/women here seem to be most interested in cloistered communities. Now that you are trying to discern your place in the lay world I think phatmass can be of even more use to you. Even if you have yet to see many posts that grab your attention, you might surprised what you find when you dare to participate in the threads.

Based on your post I would say that phatmass has much to gain from your contributions and I hope you will start some of those threads you have thought about posting. I promise to give a thoughtful response.