osapientia Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 [quote name='brightsadness' date='15 June 2010 - 06:31 PM' timestamp='1276637478' post='2129478'] At a concelebrated wedding liturgy the Presider wanted to release some tension so he said (as they all stood around the sanctuary) "now let us take a minute and relieve ourselves." It cracked up the church. I kid you not, my dad was there. [/quote] Oh the poor man must have been mortified when he realized what he said. I'd have been cracking up too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 [quote name='osapientia' date='15 June 2010 - 06:22 PM' timestamp='1276640551' post='2129520'] Oh the poor man must have been mortified when he realized what he said. I'd have been cracking up too. [/quote] My thoughts exactly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Top Ten Reasons to Join the Dominican Order by Mark Shea 10. Everyone looks better wearing black and white. (Not necessarily good, but better.) 9. It adds depth and resonance to all those great Jesuit jokes. 8. November is Party Month! (St. Martin de Porres, Nov. 3; All Dominican Saints, Nov. 7; St. Albert the Great, Nov. 15) 7. They validate your parking at Santa Sabina. 6. You can learn the correct way to spell and pronounce “Schillebeeckx.” 5. You DO expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition. 4. Buying lots of books doesn’t count (much) against the Dominican spirit of poverty. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it’s to ask you to be his secretary. 2. Arguing in bars is part of the founding spirituality of the Order. (See para. 15 of the Libellus.) 1. If you do it right, you go to heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 [quote name='Lil Red' date='15 June 2010 - 06:29 PM' timestamp='1276640949' post='2129529'] Top Ten Reasons to Join the Dominican Order by Mark Shea 10. Everyone looks better wearing black and white. (Not necessarily good, but better.) 9. It adds depth and resonance to all those great Jesuit jokes. 8. November is Party Month! (St. Martin de Porres, Nov. 3; All Dominican Saints, Nov. 7; St. Albert the Great, Nov. 15) 7. They validate your parking at Santa Sabina. 6. You can learn the correct way to spell and pronounce “Schillebeeckx.” 5. You DO expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition. 4. Buying lots of books doesn’t count (much) against the Dominican spirit of poverty. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it’s to ask you to be his secretary. 2. Arguing in bars is part of the founding spirituality of the Order. (See para. 15 of the Libellus.) 1. If you do it right, you go to heaven. [/quote] I might have to print those out. Too funny! .... is #7 actually true? That would be vedy nice. (Not that I can drive... or ever will be able to drive. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 One cold winter's day in Bethlehem, just after he had been born, Jesus is lying asleep in the manger. Awaking from his nap, he opens his eyes, sees the ox and the ass standing beside him, and thinks to himself, "So this is the Company of Jesus!" ================== There is always a right way and a wrong way to proceed: Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. They decided to ask their superior for permission. The first asked, but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking. "Why did the superior allow you to smoke, but not me?" he asked. His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked!" ======================= A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, overcome with awe at the sight of God born in such poverty. The Dominican fell to his knees, adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy Family. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, and said, "So, have you thought about where to send the boy to school?" ============================== Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had. After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...." "Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 [quote name='Lil Red' date='15 June 2010 - 07:29 PM' timestamp='1276640949' post='2129529'] Top Ten Reasons to Join the Dominican Order by Mark Shea 10. Everyone looks better wearing black and white. (Not necessarily good, but better.) 9. It adds depth and resonance to all those great Jesuit jokes. 8. November is Party Month! (St. Martin de Porres, Nov. 3; All Dominican Saints, Nov. 7; St. Albert the Great, Nov. 15) 7. They validate your parking at Santa Sabina. 6. You can learn the correct way to spell and pronounce “Schillebeeckx.” 5. You DO expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition. 4. Buying lots of books doesn’t count (much) against the Dominican spirit of poverty. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it’s to ask you to be his secretary. 2. Arguing in bars is part of the founding spirituality of the Order. (See para. 15 of the Libellus.) 1. If you do it right, you go to heaven. [/quote] Love it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 [quote name='Mary Veronica' date='15 June 2010 - 03:18 PM' timestamp='1276633131' post='2129426'] SO! napping aye?! wait, are you a Jesuit?.[/quote] A Jesuit?! .... oh if only there were a female branch I would so try to join but alas Ignatius didnt have a St Clare type to help with that so nope not a Jesuit Much to my shock and disappointment my charism is predominantly Carmelite For proof see this thread. [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=104829&st=0"]http://www.phatmass....pic=104829&st=0[/url] [quote] ..WELL in any case, I, and all my insane Carmelite peeps, demand to know what charism you predominantly have! that we too, may also go after your crew [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/evil.gif[/img] guwahahaha....and MOST LIKELY... add you as a PM friend: [/quote] LOL youre so mean! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosophette Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 This is a very funny thread. I think some of you might appreciate [url="http://www.amazon.com/Tilted-haloes-Robert-Eimer/dp/B0007EDTPC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276648417&sr=1-1"]this book[/url]. Although there is not a picture, the book is all about funny stories from the lives of the saints... some a little fantastic (like St Juliana throwing a demon into a latrine), but some are highly believable (St Bernadette and her sharp wit). It is called "Tilted Haloes" and it is very hard to find, but Amazon has a few copies. Sister B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosophette Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 (edited) Not to create a war... but..... Top Ten Reasons to [url="http://www.salesianvocations.org/"]Join the Salesians[/url]. by Sister B 10. Our habit is virtue, according to Don Bosco. [We do wear a distrinct habit, though, but without virtue, we are just posers!] 9. Most of us can do magic tricks, juggle, or have some other wacky talent that would make us able to perform at birthday parties or bar mitzvahs (I do balloon twisting). 8. January (Luigi Variara, Francis de Sales, Bronislaus Markiewicz, Laura Vicuna, Don Bosco), May (Dominic Savio, Mother Mazzarello, Louis Orione, Leonard Murialdo, Joseph Kowalski, Mary Help of Christians) and October (Albert Marvelli, Alexandrina da Costa, Luigi Guanella, Michael Rua) are party months, but we have [url="http://www.sdb.org/index.php?ids=12&sott=73&ty=1"]many other reasons[/url]to celebrate. 7. Pope Pius IX was a Salesian Cooperator, as well as Leo XIII. 6. If you join the Sisters, you will study Italian, and Italian sounds really cool! (Ma, Io non bene!) 5. You never forget what it is like to be a kid because the young people remind you daily. You meet Jesus in the young and they help you to deepen your relationship with God. 4. Buying water balloons and having sneakers be your primary foot wear is totally OK if it for ministry. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it is to ask you to be his [url="http://www.vatican.va/news_services/press/documentazione/documents/cardinali_biografie/cardinali_bio_bertone_t_en.html"]Secretary of State[/url] or the [url="http://www.saltandlighttv.org/prog_slprog_witness_popup_sister_enrica.html"]under-secretary[/url]of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life. 2. Playing sports, hanging out with young people, sharing the faith in an informal way, opening schools for the poor, and working for positive social change are all but one small part of our founding spirit. ---- and the top reason for being a Salesian ---- drumroll, please------ 1. Because it is what God is calling you to: to give your life for the young and to grow, day by day, in deeper love with Jesus as you meet him in the young. [quote name='Lil Red' date='15 June 2010 - 05:29 PM' timestamp='1276640949' post='2129529'] Top Ten Reasons to Join the Dominican Order by Mark Shea 10. Everyone looks better wearing black and white. (Not necessarily good, but better.) 9. It adds depth and resonance to all those great Jesuit jokes. 8. November is Party Month! (St. Martin de Porres, Nov. 3; All Dominican Saints, Nov. 7; St. Albert the Great, Nov. 15) 7. They validate your parking at Santa Sabina. 6. You can learn the correct way to spell and pronounce Schillebeeckx. 5. You DO expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition. 4. Buying lots of books doesnt count (much) against the Dominican spirit of poverty. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, its to ask you to be his secretary. 2. Arguing in bars is part of the founding spirituality of the Order. (See para. 15 of the Libellus.) 1. If you do it right, you go to heaven. [/quote] Edited June 16, 2010 by philosobrat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 [quote name='Lil Red' date='15 June 2010 - 06:29 PM' timestamp='1276640949' post='2129529'] Top Ten Reasons to Join the Dominican Order by Mark Shea 10. Everyone looks better wearing black and white. (Not necessarily good, but better.) 9. It adds depth and resonance to all those great Jesuit jokes. 8. November is Party Month! (St. Martin de Porres, Nov. 3; All Dominican Saints, Nov. 7; St. Albert the Great, Nov. 15) 7. They validate your parking at Santa Sabina. 6. You can learn the correct way to spell and pronounce “Schillebeeckx.” 5. You DO expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition. 4. Buying lots of books doesn’t count (much) against the Dominican spirit of poverty. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it’s to ask you to be his secretary. 2. Arguing in bars is part of the founding spirituality of the Order. (See para. 15 of the Libellus.) 1. If you do it right, you go to heaven. [/quote] LOVE IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Veronica Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 (edited) [quote name='vee8' date='15 June 2010 - 06:57 PM' timestamp='1276642630' post='2129543'] A Jesuit?! .... oh if only there were a female branch I would so try to join but alas Ignatius didnt have a St Clare type to help with that so nope not a Jesuit [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/weep.gif[/img] Much to my shock and disappointment my charism is predominantly Carmelite [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/shock.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/sadder.gif[/img] For proof see this thread. [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=104829&st=0"]http://www.phatmass....pic=104829&st=0[/url] LOL youre so mean! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/bye.gif[/img] [/quote] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/annoyed.gif[/img] you bunchie-hating, Ignatian, Carmelite black sheep!.... HAHA you're alright! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif[/img] Grarrr ((bear hug)) like a modern St. Joseph of Cupertino! *sigh* so humbly reluctant *tear* Edited June 16, 2010 by Mary Veronica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Veronica Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 (edited) you guys got top 10 [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/yawn.gif[/img] , well we got top 6 reasons to be a Carmelite [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nerd.gif[/img] [media][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruX09EuTREs"]http://www.youtube.c...h?v=ruX09EuTREs[/url][/media] Code BLUE! this Carmelite-aspirant is dying out love for GOD! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/stretcher.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif[/img] ...I hope the medical staff isn't Jesuit, Hardy har har! JK, St. Ignatius and Robert De Niro who performed superbly in the Jesuit movie "the MISSION." Edited June 16, 2010 by Mary Veronica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laetitia crucis Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 [quote name='philosobrat' date='15 June 2010 - 08:55 PM' timestamp='1276649738' post='2129569'] Not to create a war... but..... Top Ten Reasons to [url="http://www.salesianvocations.org/"]Join the Salesians[/url]. by Sister B 10. Our habit is virtue, according to Don Bosco. [We do wear a distrinct habit, though, but without virtue, we are just posers!] 9. Most of us can do magic tricks, juggle, or have some other wacky talent that would make us able to perform at birthday parties or bar mitzvahs (I do balloon twisting). 8. January (Luigi Variara, Francis de Sales, Bronislaus Markiewicz, Laura Vicuna, Don Bosco), May (Dominic Savio, Mother Mazzarello, Louis Orione, Leonard Murialdo, Joseph Kowalski, Mary Help of Christians) and October (Albert Marvelli, Alexandrina da Costa, Luigi Guanella, Michael Rua) are party months, but we have [url="http://www.sdb.org/index.php?ids=12&sott=73&ty=1"]many other reasons[/url]to celebrate. 7. Pope Pius IX was a Salesian Cooperator, as well as Leo XIII. 6. If you join the Sisters, you will study Italian, and Italian sounds really cool! (Ma, Io non bene!) 5. You never forget what it is like to be a kid because the young people remind you daily. You meet Jesus in the young and they help you to deepen your relationship with God. 4. Buying water balloons and having sneakers be your primary foot wear is totally OK if it for ministry. 3. When Cardinal Ratzinger summons you to Rome, it is to ask you to be his [url="http://www.vatican.va/news_services/press/documentazione/documents/cardinali_biografie/cardinali_bio_bertone_t_en.html"]Secretary of State[/url] or the [url="http://www.saltandlighttv.org/prog_slprog_witness_popup_sister_enrica.html"]under-secretary[/url]of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life. 2. Playing sports, hanging out with young people, sharing the faith in an informal way, opening schools for the poor, and working for positive social change are all but one small part of our founding spirit. ---- and the top reason for being a Salesian ---- drumroll, please------ 1. Because it is what God is calling you to: to give your life for the young and to grow, day by day, in deeper love with Jesus as you meet him in the young. [/quote] [i]Niiiiice!!![/i] I am certain Don Bosco would approve! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 (edited) [quote name='Mary Veronica' date='15 June 2010 - 08:47 PM' timestamp='1276652842' post='2129584'] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/annoyed.gif[/img] you [b]bunchie-hating, Ignatian, Carmelite black sheep!....[/b] HAHA you're alright! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif[/img] Grarrr ((bear hug)) like a modern St. Joseph of Cupertino! *sigh* so humbly reluctant *tear* [/quote] If I could get that part in bold on a tshirt I would wear it with pride! [quote]like a modern St. Joseph of Cupertino! *sigh* so humbly reluctant *tear*[/quote] I'm more of a complaining resister than a humble reluctant. Edited June 16, 2010 by vee8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 [quote name='Mary Veronica' date='15 June 2010 - 09:03 PM' timestamp='1276653799' post='2129592'] you guys got top 10 [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/yawn.gif[/img] , well we got top 6 reasons to be a Carmelite [/quote] Ya there's only six cus no one can stay awake long enough to think of ten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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