OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 My friend really needs your prayers. She left her home 5 days ago to enter religious life for the 2nd time. This morning, we got some upsetting news that the Sisters told her she doesn't fit in. She hasn't even been there for a week. This is hard to understand. She later emailed and said that, if they sent her home, she wouldn't pursue her discernment further. I can't imagine the pain and torment she is going through. She was very much looking forward to being with these Sisters and it was all she could talk about. Please pray that they will give her more of a chance before sending her home.
Lisa Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 (edited) Prayers. Oh goodness, that sounds hard. I know God's will will ultimately be done, but hopefully they give her more time before making their decision as she's likely still transitioning into the convent routine. Edited May 7, 2012 by Lisa
OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 I don't want to give away too much information in case the Sisters frequent this site, but my friend is a belated vocation. She received her call early in life, but rebelled against her faith. She came back and has had the most difficult time finding an order that would accept her because of her age. I am so upset for her and I am asking God for a miracle.
Strictlyinkblot Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 (edited) How difficult for her! I hope they give her a little more time. Prayers. And please let us know how she is getting on if you can Edited May 7, 2012 by Strictlyinkblot
marigold Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Well... sometimes people take a bit of time to adjust, even sisters. Hope everyone gives it more time.
Mary's Margaret Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 How devastating. With that going on, it makes it all the more difficult to "fit in." She and the Sisters are in my prayers. I do hope more time is given.
OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Thank you, everyone. It's so hard not to be angry at the situation. She has been through so much already with her autoimmune disorder and having to return from the other order. But, I don't know why God is allowing this to happen. I need to trust that God has a good reason for this and pray that everything works out in the end.
Maximilianus Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 A good saint for intercessions in this predicament it St. Benedict Joseph Labre. He was rejected by every religious order he tried to join. Prayers for your friend
organwerke Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Even if she will come back, tell her that exist many orders that accept belated vocations, and, even if now of course she is really upset, she shouldn't give up with her discernment. Even if she should spend years finding it, I am sure that it exists at least a community that can accept her!
LaPetiteSoeur Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Will pray. This must be so difficult for your friend.
EmilyAnn Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 That is very sad to hear, your friend must be devastated. I do hope the Sisters give her more time, it seems very strange to allow her to enter then only give her five days and expect her to be fully settled.
OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 [quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1336428535' post='2428256'] That is very sad to hear, your friend must be devastated. I do hope the Sisters give her more time, it seems very strange to allow her to enter then only give her five days and expect her to be fully settled. [/quote] It makes me wonder why they didn't tell her during the live-in that she did before she entered. I would hope they wouldn't lead her on like this. I'm going to have a talk with my pastor, hopefully this week, and tell him what's going on. She really shouldn't have to go through this alone.
OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 [quote name='organwerke' timestamp='1336427750' post='2428248'] Even if she will come back, tell her that exist many orders that accept belated vocations, and, even if now of course she is really upset, she shouldn't give up with her discernment. Even if she should spend years finding it, I am sure that it exists at least a community that can accept her! [/quote] That's what I thought, too, but she has checked out several orders that take belated vocations. I even offered to help her look some up but she said that she didn't think there are any out there she hasn't checked out. I really hope she doesn't have to leave and start all over again.
Maggyie Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Were they perhaps so averse to confrontation that they couldn't be honest with her about her personality being a poor fit? I have heard of similar situations with older vocations. And only after entrance do they gin up their courage to tell the candidate no. Meanwhile possessions have been sold or given away, jobs quit, leases terminated, and so forth. It's so unfair to the candidate. Praying for your friend and her peace.
Spem in alium Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 That must be a very difficult thing for your friend to bear. I will keep her in my thoughts and intentions. May the Lord be with her and help her to achieve true happiness and peace.
OnlySunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 [quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1336432405' post='2428297'] Were they perhaps so averse to confrontation that they couldn't be honest with her about her personality being a poor fit? I have heard of similar situations with older vocations. And only after entrance do they gin up their courage to tell the candidate no. Meanwhile possessions have been sold or given away, jobs quit, leases terminated, and so forth. It's so unfair to the candidate. Praying for your friend and her peace. [/quote] I hate to speculate, but it really does make me wonder. I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because of this. She is such a nice lady and I hate to see her go through this. If she comes back, she won't have any place to live. She'll have to job search in this horrible state (job wise). UGH! Please, God, help her stay and try a bit longer before any final decision is made.
Sister Marie Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I'm so sorry to hear that about your friend. Something similar happened to an older woman I knew before I entered. She had visited this community a bunch of times. They talked about what ministry she would be able to do when she entered, where she would be living (they lived in smaller convents with the professed sisters), and when she could enter. She had completed her whole application and was waiting for an answer and never got one. Weeks went by, then a month, and finally they told her no she couldn't come. She had already sold her house and quit her job. The biggest let down was that all she wanted was to be a sister... It was a real heartbreak for her. After that though, as hard as it was, she found that it had all been in God's plan. She got a job as a nurse in a place where she truly felt that she was ministering to the poor and needy and she kept her life and finances very simple. When I last saw her she was so happy that the grace of the process, however painful, had really freed her up to allow more room for God. We can be assured that God uses all things for good. I am so sorry for her suffering now though. I don't know why this happens sometimes in religious life but I will certainly pray for your friend that God's will be done.
OnlySunshine Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 [quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1336434786' post='2428315'] I'm so sorry to hear that about your friend. Something similar happened to an older woman I knew before I entered. She had visited this community a bunch of times. They talked about what ministry she would be able to do when she entered, where she would be living (they lived in smaller convents with the professed sisters), and when she could enter. She had completed her whole application and was waiting for an answer and never got one. Weeks went by, then a month, and finally they told her no she couldn't come. She had already sold her house and quit her job. The biggest let down was that all she wanted was to be a sister... It was a real heartbreak for her. After that though, as hard as it was, she found that it had all been in God's plan. She got a job as a nurse in a place where she truly felt that she was ministering to the poor and needy and she kept her life and finances very simple. When I last saw her she was so happy that the grace of the process, however painful, had really freed her up to allow more room for God. We can be assured that God uses all things for good. I am so sorry for her suffering now though. I don't know why this happens sometimes in religious life but I will certainly pray for your friend that God's will be done. [/quote] Thank you, Sr. Marie, for your kind words. I wish I was with my friend to give her comfort in the form of a hug and a prayer. It's so hard to be so many miles apart when she really needs some support. I can only pray that Jesus will wrap her in His loving arms and console her the way only He knows how. Before she left, she remarked that if this didn't work out, she'd consider going to Israel to work in the refugee camps. I don't know if she really meant it because she said it jokingly, but I hope she won't lose all hope in serving God even if she can't as a religious. I know her calling is out there somewhere.
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