xTrishaxLynnx Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) Been mostly lurking lately for various reasons. Time to play "Trisha's therapy journal." Continue at your own risk. (Risk of boredom and eye-rolling, mostly.) I start training tomorrow and I'm just praying that we don't lose power at any point during Sandy's sweep around Maine. If we lose power and I miss ANY part of my training, I have to start all over. And I have no idea when they'd be able to get me into another class. I can't afford to miss any work because my student loans go into repayment technically before I will even get my first check, but the due date is a few days later. I can't make that payment if I get set back by this and I'd rather not get off to such a bad start. Completely unrelated: I need to learn to not overwhelm myself with multiple projects when it isn't necessary. There are so many things I need/want to do around the house right now and I have always had the problem of getting myself in over my head with this stuff and basically just giving up at some point. I'll start a project then get distracted by another project, starting that one before I finish the first, and so it continues and it seems like nothing ever gets FINISHED. Part of the problem is that, when cleaning and organizing, I have to make more of a mess than I started with in the process; that's when I get distracted and overwhelmed. I'll have everything cleared out of one area, but it's all sprawled throughout other areas and, as I move on cleaning through those areas, at some point I just think "this is never going to end..." and I often end up undoing a lot of work I've done because I don't have time or energy to keep going [i]and I [b]can't stand[/b] to leave it partially finished. [/i]Just knowing that if I want to do one project, it's actually going to involve me doing what seems like an infinite number of projects makes it seem impossible to really get anything done and very hard to get motivated to do anything at all. I know it's partly because of my OCD (for example, the part about not being able to say "okay, I'm going to leave this right where it is and come back and work some more tomorrow." and having to undo work just to keep it from causing me anxiety.) I basically have to spend an entire day cleaning and rearranging one whole room to avoid this anxiety. (THIS is a newer realization... and I'm trying, but I just don't see a way around it.) This is probably why the bathroom is actually the only room I don't mind cleaning... it's not actually "lived in" ... it's a "transitional room"... and everything there has a place [i]somewhere else [/i]and I can actually truly get the whole room cleaned in about an hour on a good day. This is also our laundry room so that includes washing, drying, folding and giving clothes to their owners. It's actually therapeutic for me, cleaning the bathroom, I just wish all the other rooms were like that... I feel like the laziest person on the planet most days. I'm sure lots of people who hear me say I have OCD (not necessarily the people here, just in general) think "there's no way you have OCD because you'd be a complete 'clean freak' and your house would constantly be spotless if you did..." Which is pretty much what my dad thought until I explained the other ways in which OCD can present. Funny story (or not:) When I lived on my own, my place WAS spotless. Clothes were even hung up and color coded. As soon as other people's mess is in the picture and they let it get out of hand, forget it... I can't handle it, so I guess I just try to ignore it as some sort of messed up defense mechanism or something... Okay, I think I'm done for now... and now those of you who bothered to read got a glimpse of my own personal brand of crazy. Trust me... this is nowhere near the extent of it. Edited October 28, 2012 by xTrishaxLynnx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Hey, Tricia, Good to hear you are doing OK, and praying you get spared by the storm... and that your training goes thru OK. If something does fizzle the training, I'd see whether the loan company might be a little forgiving -- you'll have a VERY good reason..... all you can do is ask, but what ya got to loose? As far as the OCDish stuff... it's all on a continuum... we all have some of it, some more than others. I tend to think mine is more ADDish -- I just get distracted and forget to go back and get finished... and then beat myself up if I'm not careful. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, [url="http://www.Flylady.net"]www.Flylady.net[/url] is really good for this.... she gets it. She helps me to focus.... you might try it..... some of her podcasts are great - check out the crisis cleaning one.... and try doing a search for how to stay focused when decluttering.... she's been a godsend for me.. .and it's fun! Hang in there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Hi Trisha, didn't seem crazy to me. Though FlyLady is indeed a godsend... And prayers you don't lose power in training! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 Thanks AnneLine and BG. I didn't lose power at all during training, and only once in the middle of the night Monday. Today was our first "call simulation" at work and hopefully the worst of them. We don't really know anything yet, and we didn't do horribly considering that. I don't think it could have been a more awkward topic for our first time trying to simulate a call, though. The "customer" (classmate) said that their spouse had passed away. I have a hard time with regular conversations sometimes, and I'm even more poorly equipped to handle the less common and more touchy conversations such as this. Add that to trying to navigate systems we've been looking at for less than a day in some cases and trying to keep up with the scripted lines as well as the processes for completing the tasks, and I felt completely lost! Hopefully it can only get better from here... I can't believe there are people who have no trouble with this stuff at all. I want so badly to be like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 You'll get the hang of it. Just remember how badly some of the rest of the class did getting prepared and set up? Yeah, you have an edge, just a different one. Once you have the time to learn it all you'll be just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 My brain doesn't work when I try to find information [i]and[/i] read it [i]all while talking[/i]. I don't think this is a skill that can be learned. I think you either have it or you don't. I say this because I've tried doing it even with just friends on the phone and trying to listen to them while reading, or talk while reading... doesn't work for me. And silence is deadly, so really not an option most of the time. It's not a matter of can I do the job, really, but it's the way they want it done that makes it rough for me. If I can teach myself how things work and then go and explain them to the customer, I'm fine. That's what I thought this job would be like, and I'm still holding out hope that most of it will be like that. If I constantly have to be pretending I know what I'm talking about while desperately searching for the information in an endless expanse of a database, there's an issue and it just sets me up for sounding like an idiot. It also seems dishonest. I dunno. I'll just see how it goes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ContemporaryCaflicCrusader Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Beleeeeeeeeeeeeeeive in yourself. Keep praying about it. I am. Trust God and the job will work out... Or something better will happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Glad the training part came through well. As far as the mock sessions, just do the best you can Trisha. Remember that ultimately God is your main supervisor....do the best you can and that is all God expects of us... If your learning curve is anything like mine, I HATE having to do scripted stuff because it just feels... odd and wrong... .but then after about a 100 attempts suddenly it just... works. I pray the same curve for you... glad your friends are willing to try to do the demos with you.... you'll do OK... Praying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrysophylax Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Hi Trisha, I am posting in your thread! Taco Dance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 [i][b]Que [/b][/i][size=3][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]crazy-frantic-cleaning-organizing-setting-up-desk-just-so-and-breaking-out-the-poster-board-and-glue-sticks-to-post-job-aids-and-lists-and-random-possibly-helpful-facts-and-scripts-all-over-desk-and-walls![/i][/font][/size] ...aka [i][font=georgia,serif]FULL FREAK-OUT MODE! [/font][/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 i miss talking with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Soooo, talk to me? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 hi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 And while you're at it, can you find me a different job that won't make me feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown?Also... hi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 get married and have kids. i mean, if you're gonna have a nervous breakdown, it might as well be bc of people you love. addie is pulling peyton's hair. i will be back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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