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Make Cma Laugh!


cmaD2006

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brianthephysicist

A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has balls!"

The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?" The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!"

The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "Floopy you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"

Edited by brianthephysicist
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brianthephysicist

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny . So she said , "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pantaloons." said the Little Johnny.

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A friend in the Marines once told me you don't need to see uniforms to know what branch someone is in when in another country. The Marines will be the guys in the tents with the port-a-potties, complaining about how it's been months since they had a shower and a cold beer. The Army will be the guys in the barracks, complaining that a hundred other people see their every move. The Air Force guys will be the ones either in a hotel a country away or in a nice high rise building with a rent to own option and a reasonable mortgage rate.

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brianthephysicist

[img]http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i58/5/8/28/frabz-The-son-of-man-did-not-come-to-be-served-but-to-serve-bd3b1f.jpg[/img]

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Keep 'em up ... I got some bad news today. The injections will not happen until the end of this month. :(. I am in a funk for sure.

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brianthephysicist

[url="http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/d35ae554b2/just-some-bears-thinking-about-life#slide1"]http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/d35ae554b2/just-some-bears-thinking-about-life#slide1[/url]

There’s a Christian who’s hiking in the woods one day when he comes upon an angry bear.

The bear stood up on its hind legs and growled ferociously, clearly preparing to charge.


In panic, the Christian started to run, but the bear followed close on his heels.

Finally the hiker came to a cliff. So he dropped to his knees and asked God to please make this bear a good Christian bear.


To the hiker’s amazement, the bear suddenly stopped growling, fell to his knees and folded his paws together in prayer!

"Thank you, Lord!" exclaimed the Christian.


"Thank you, Lord!" exclaimed the bear, "for this meal I'm about to receive!"

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Sorry Cma :(

One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.

There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows. Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath. “You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"

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DiscerningCatholic

[quote name='BG45' timestamp='1349383238' post='2490030']
Sorry Cma :(

One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.

There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows. Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath. “You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
[/quote]

:crazyshoot:

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brianthephysicist

[img]http://www.askreamaor.com/images/demotivation_poster_3.jpg[/img]

[img]http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/anotefromyourbartender.jpg[/img]



[size=8][color=#FF0000]Warning Foul Language:[/color][/size]

[spoiler][img]http://img.izismile.com//img/img3/20100211/disguised_weapons_01.jpg[/img][/spoiler]

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[quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1349385353' post='2490043']
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyTCfB_J8HU[/media]
[/quote]

She's plain ol' ANNOYING. Especially when you actually have only been up for, oh, say, an hour!

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

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brianthephysicist

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1349442103' post='2490299']

She's plain ol' ANNOYING. Especially when you actually have only been up for, oh, say, an hour!

Grumble, grumble, grumble.
[/quote]

Yes, but you can in fact make yourself laugh like that. Try it. :)

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brianthephysicist

I went to pick up my girlfriend for a dress up party. I was dressed as Mario due to my love for the games. I knocked on her door and her dad answered. All he said was "Sorry, your princess is in another castle." Before shutting the door in my face.

I wasn't even mad

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Holy+sheet+what+was+that_fee5f4_4142448.gif[/img]

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/What+Could+Go+Wrong_3f6583_4142817.jpeg[/img]

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/If+you+can+dodge+traffic.+you+can+dodge+a+ball_fe7f09_4143179.gif[/img]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh1mZxDjHo4[/media]

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/The+Princess+Bride+Sort+of+.+An+old+favorite+of+mine_9faa9b_4143307.jpg[/img]

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/AHRNOALD_70adba_4131253.jpg[/img]

[img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/insert+title+here+.+Got+this+in+my+folder+for+a_55f872_4142070.jpg[/img]

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