BG45 Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?†They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The youngest brother gasped for breath and replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing and they think WE did it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 The Rev. Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, Rev. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven.†“I don’t think I’ll be there,†the boy said. “You don’t even know your way to the post office.†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1349202031' post='2489279'] WHAT THE HELL. [/quote] Literally my exact thought! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Great minds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Shall we make it unanimous... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 CMA I think you might be safe: The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I just now realized that was macho Jesus holding dead Michael Jackson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 [img]http://media-cache-ec3.pinterest.com/upload/253538653991953721_Hm5fGPVQ_c.jpg[/img] [img]http://media-cache-ec3.pinterest.com/upload/253538653991953789_3CfHNFuS_c.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 [quote name='BG45' timestamp='1349294312' post='2489652'] I just now realized that was macho Jesus holding dead Michael Jackson. [/quote] slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 [quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1349292974' post='2489642'] Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. [/quote] Almost got it right ... it is not getting the precert done in a timely fashion that kills you via the wrath of cma. ... keep 'em coming. See the prayer thread for the latest update ... needless to say if I don't get the injections on the 8th yall will have to put up with more of the grumpy cma for another 3 weeks. So make grumpy smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 [quote name='BG45' timestamp='1349294312' post='2489652'] I just now realized that was macho Jesus holding dead Michael Jackson. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I can indeed be Slowpoke sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 [quote name='BG45' timestamp='1349298678' post='2489681'] I can indeed be Slowpoke sometimes. [/quote] Well if it's any consolation, ya made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 It's a definite consolation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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