I'm Back With Important News

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1352774585' post='2508898']
Don't be afraid to say yes. It was also in response to that whole prayer thingy discussion-mabobber. But once again, God will not give you too much. He only gives you what you can handle.
[/quote]

Oh, okay. Yes, I'm definitely working on it. I guess I was just at the point to where He believed I could handle the news, and He definitely knew what He was doing, shockingly enough. It couldn't have come at a better time.

[the171]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1352774502' post='2508897']

Interestingly, Sartre would have agreed.
[/quote]

Chuckle.

[PhuturePriest]

By the way, though I have found peace with this decision, I have also found obstacles. My mother is trying to scare me out of being a psychologist, saying it will be difficult (She always says "That will be really difficult" every time I think of something new, including the Priesthood), and she is mad because being a psychologist quote "Won't make you much money". I said being a marriage counselor means I will make fifty five thousand dollars a year or more, but she said that isn't much. I don't know if she wants me to be a millionaire Wall Street guy or what, but I'm happy with fifty five thousand dollars a year, plus the books I will inevitably write (I love writing books, and marrying Emily would be a total bonus because she's going to get a degree in English).

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1352773222' post='2508884']

Thank you very much. I wouldn't say it is courage, I just wanted to share something major in my life with my friends (Because I really do consider you all to be friends). I also felt that it was necessary to tell you. You have all been so involved in my discernment, and it is only right to tell you this really important development. Above that, I felt like I should have. Yesterday when I was praying in front of the tabernacle, I felt a bit ashamed. I have made so much hype out of my discernment. With names like FuturePriest, and with telling a lot of people that I thought I was going to be a Priest, I've made a mess of things. I am going to disappoint so many people, and I really dread that. But I know that despite the feeling of not wanting to disappoint people, I have to be honest with myself and with what God wants me to do. So although it may be hard, I'm going to have to keep being honest.
[/quote]

I know exactly what you mean. It's rather dangerous to tell so many people of your plans, as I have discovered. You cannot know with absolute certainty whether you were meant to do something until you actually do it and are able to see it through to the end. I was very silly and stupid and told everyone I knew about 3 years ago that I knew I had a vocation to religious life and I knew I was going to be a Carmelite. Now, I've discovered that I am not called to be a Carmelite and I don't know with certainty that I have a religious vocation -- I pray that I do. But I have to be on guard that I don't claim to know God's will because that may change.

I am very happy for you, FP, that you found peace even if it is not the route you thought God wanted you to take. It takes courage to be able to accept that news. I pray that, whatever vocation you are called to, you find complete fulfillment and joy. God bless.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1352778141' post='2508944']
I know exactly what you mean. It's rather dangerous to tell so many people of your plans, as I have discovered. You cannot know with absolute certainty whether you were meant to do something until you actually do it and are able to see it through to the end. I was very silly and stupid and told everyone I knew about 3 years ago that I knew I had a vocation to religious life and I knew I was going to be a Carmelite. Now, I've discovered that I am not called to be a Carmelite and I don't know with certainty that I have a religious vocation -- I pray that I do. But I have to be on guard that I don't claim to know God's will because that may change.

I am very happy for you, FP, that you found peace even if it is not the route you thought God wanted you to take. It takes courage to be able to accept that news. I pray that, whatever vocation you are called to, you find complete fulfillment and joy. God bless.
[/quote]

It got so bad for me that there was a rumor at the store we go to a lot that I was already studying to become a Priest or something like that (Though I didn't tell anyone there this, I think it was my dad). If I can recommend something to anyone reading that might be discerning, it would be to keep it discreet, [b]especially[/b] if you haven't visited your community/seminary yet. You don't know what is going to happen. In fact, as a Priest said this weekend, the only time you know you are called to the Priesthood is when the Bishop has his hands over your head and ordains you. The same goes for religious life (Though I think it may go a bit differently than that). So be discreet, tell only those you trust and are close to, and listen to God's will. Sometimes kneeling in front of the tabernacle and not thinking anything at all is best. It is in complete silence that God can tell you your vocation clearly.

Thank you. Honestly, I took it relatively hard, and I'm still trying to get used to telling myself that I am not discerning the Priesthood anymore. It's like trying to use an arm right after you have broken it, and you remember that you can't. When I was praying in front of the tabernacle I nearly cried, which is huge because I never cry. Not because I'm too manly or anything like that, I just never do. But I know that God is calling me to better things, and that wherever He calls me I will be happy.

[GeorgiiMichael]

Well, I guess you'll have to change your phorum handle (I hope dUSt will let you).

Just make sure you stay with the FP initials.

Also, good discernment, keep it up, bro.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='GeorgiiMichael' timestamp='1352779560' post='2508961']
Well, I guess you'll have to change your phorum handle (I hope dUSt will let you).

Just make sure you stay with the FP initials.

Also, good discernment, keep it up, bro.
[/quote]

I honestly don't mind FuturePriest387, so if dUSt doesn't want to for obvious reasons then I have no problem with it. It reminds me of a good time of spiritual and character growth in my life.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1352770425' post='2508851']
I am really irritated right now. Really irritated. Nevermind.

If you do what FCC said, you had better be prepared for the hammer to come down, and make sure you have the spiritual resources in place to deal with it. It is not something to do for the drama or romance. Let me tell you from personal experience: there are not a lot of people who will give God the time of day, period. If you offer Him a blank check you can be damm sure He will take you up on it.

Of course this is not germane at all to the discussion of your vocation. <---sarcasm.
I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Later I will be sorry I'm sorry I'm not sorry. but right now I am really irrittated, and this is enough phatmass for me today.
[/quote]
I'm sorry that you're irritated and going through whatever it is you're going through. I get that you're irritated and I'm sorry I posted that in the first place, I didn't realize it would cause the problems it did.

However, I honestly didn't need to hear the above quoted post. I've been on the verge of tears for the past several weeks, and little things have been completely setting me over the edge.

If there's one thing I'm not it's inexperienced. Nor am I brave. I am desperate, and the weakest person I know of. But I do know what I've been through.

I regret posting my prayer. I do. I apologize. It has been getting me through the day every day, though. I want to know that God's will is going to be done. That is my only concern I have left. Somehow, this prayer reassures me. I am struggling with personal issues that are irrelevant at the moment, and I want to know that amid my suffering, God's will is going to be done ultimately. I was on the brink of death rather recently after months of being told nothing was wrong. I was mad at God for like 4 months. Every day I wondered if that was going to be the day I die, and now I know it very well could have. I may pray that prayer every day, but you know what else I say every day? "I'm not supposed to be here." and variants thereof. I'll never be the brave person I dream of being. But if nothing else, my one act of faith of the day is saying, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Yeah, life happens. It smells of elderberries. It happens to all of us. It doesn't make a difference whether I pray that prayer or not, whatever happens is going to happen. It's just how I help myself not be mad at God, and just lose control. I was tired of pretending like I was in control.

I am not brave and I feel like I smell of elderberries at life most of the time. I hope we're all happy now that I've finished tearing myself to shreds. I'd rather do it myself than have people do it for me, which has happened all too frequently lately.

Sorry this is all over the place. I'm exhausted.

[the171]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1352785079' post='2509031']
I'm sorry that you're irritated and going through whatever it is you're going through. I get that you're irritated and I'm sorry I posted that in the first place, I didn't realize it would cause the problems it did.

However, I honestly didn't need to hear the above quoted post. I've been on the verge of tears for the past several weeks, and little things have been completely setting me over the edge.

If there's one thing I'm not it's inexperienced. Nor am I brave. I am desperate, and the weakest person I know of. But I do know what I've been through.

I regret posting my prayer. I do. I apologize. It has been getting me through the day every day, though. I want to know that God's will is going to be done. That is my only concern I have left. Somehow, this prayer reassures me. I am struggling with personal issues that are irrelevant at the moment, and I want to know that amid my suffering, God's will is going to be done ultimately. I was on the brink of death rather recently after months of being told nothing was wrong. I was mad at God for like 4 months. Every day I wondered if that was going to be the day I die, and now I know it very well could have. I may pray that prayer every day, but you know what else I say every day? "I'm not supposed to be here." and variants thereof. I'll never be the brave person I dream of being. But if nothing else, my one act of faith of the day is saying, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Yeah, life happens. It smells of elderberries. It happens to all of us. It doesn't make a difference whether I pray that prayer or not, whatever happens is going to happen. It's just how I help myself not be mad at God, and just lose control. I was tired of pretending like I was in control.

I am not brave and I feel like I smell of elderberries at life most of the time. I hope we're all happy now that I've finished tearing myself to shreds. I'd rather do it myself than have people do it for me, which has happened all too frequently lately.

Sorry this is all over the place. I'm exhausted.
[/quote]

Claire, you know your heart. Do not tear yourself to apart like that. You are a daughter of God and a future saint. I cannot wait to one day hear your name in the Litany of Saints. I love you, Claire.

[cmaD2006]

Lilabettt is right though ... to pray the "break my heart; I want to do your will" prayer is not for the fainthearted. He does listen, and He does do it.

Sometimes we (including myself) make such a prayer, and when it starts happening we go "whaaaaaat?!?!?!" Lilabettt may have been a bit irritated, but she has a very vaild point.

The romance period is beautiful, but it does end. And again -- expect God to act when you pray any prayer that goes like these: break my heart, make me more humble, give me patience, etc.

FCC -- you have every right to post what you did (don't beat yourself up for your post); but Lilabettt has the same right to post what she did. Both were good posts -- and it is good to hear the "watch out what you pray for" post every so often. It is a good "warning" for those who are newer. (Although sometimes the best lessons come with the naive prayers )

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1352785823' post='2509041']


Claire, you know your heart. Do not tear yourself to apart like that. You are a daughter of God and a future saint. I cannot wait to one day hear your name in the Litany of Saints. I love you, Claire.
[/quote]
I love you too.

[ChristinaTherese]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1352785079' post='2509031']
I'm sorry that you're irritated and going through whatever it is you're going through. I get that you're irritated and I'm sorry I posted that in the first place, I didn't realize it would cause the problems it did.

However, I honestly didn't need to hear the above quoted post. I've been on the verge of tears for the past several weeks, and little things have been completely setting me over the edge.

If there's one thing I'm not it's inexperienced. Nor am I brave. I am desperate, and the weakest person I know of. But I do know what I've been through.

I regret posting my prayer. I do. I apologize. It has been getting me through the day every day, though. I want to know that God's will is going to be done. That is my only concern I have left. Somehow, this prayer reassures me. I am struggling with personal issues that are irrelevant at the moment, and I want to know that amid my suffering, God's will is going to be done ultimately. I was on the brink of death rather recently after months of being told nothing was wrong. I was mad at God for like 4 months. Every day I wondered if that was going to be the day I die, and now I know it very well could have. I may pray that prayer every day, but you know what else I say every day? "I'm not supposed to be here." and variants thereof. I'll never be the brave person I dream of being. But if nothing else, my one act of faith of the day is saying, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Yeah, life happens. It smells of elderberries. It happens to all of us. It doesn't make a difference whether I pray that prayer or not, whatever happens is going to happen. It's just how I help myself not be mad at God, and just lose control. I was tired of pretending like I was in control.

I am not brave and I feel like I smell of elderberries at life most of the time. I hope we're all happy now that I've finished tearing myself to shreds. I'd rather do it myself than have people do it for me, which has happened all too frequently lately.

Sorry this is all over the place. I'm exhausted.
[/quote]
FCC, if Lilllabettt was irritated by your post, it wasn't your fault. The prayer you posted was good. I know I've prayed something to that effect, although I haven't been in as bad of a situation as you have (I think), I've still been in a place where I had to give God everything and sacrifice my own desires (for health in particular) if that was what He willed. Lilllabettt is right, total surrender to God [i]is[/i] hard, but it is also worth everything. Keep on, and know that however weak you are God still loves you and loves to see you surrender your will to Him, no matter what anyone else says. A psalm that nearly became my mantra for the few months I was suffering health wise was Psalm 117: "O praise the Lord, all you nations, acclaim Him, all you peoples! Strong is His love for us; He is faithful for ever." It helped to know that even though life wasn't going my way, God still loved me. He still cared about me, and would work all things together for good, even though they might not be good in and of themselves (cf. Romans 8:28). And He [i]did[/i] use that time of suffering for good. I learned to trust Him, to surrender myself to Him, to really pray to Him.... Sometimes we need to learn, and sometimes we learn by pain. I think C. S. Lewis said that "pain is God's megaphone to a deaf world," and it's true. Sometimes pain is how we hear, when we won't hear any other way.

But I'm getting pretty far off track from the OP here. I don't have anything to add about you, FP.... Prayers, maybe....

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1352787159' post='2509054']
Lilabettt is right though ... to pray the "break my heart; I want to do your will" prayer is not for the fainthearted. He does listen, and He does do it.

Sometimes we (including myself) make such a prayer, and when it starts happening we go "whaaaaaat?!?!?!" Lilabettt may have been a bit irritated, but she has a very vaild point.

The romance period is beautiful, but it does end. And again -- expect God to act when you pray any prayer that goes like these: break my heart, make me more humble, give me patience, etc.

FCC -- you have every right to post what you did (don't beat yourself up for your post); but Lilabettt has the same right to post what she did. Both were good posts -- and it is good to hear the "watch out what you pray for" post every so often. It is a good "warning" for those who are newer. (Although sometimes the best lessons come with the naive prayers )
[/quote]
Oh, I'm aware. Trust me...

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1352787159' post='2509054']
Lilabettt is right though ... to pray the "break my heart; I want to do your will" prayer is not for the fainthearted. He does listen, and He does do it.

Sometimes we (including myself) make such a prayer, and when it starts happening we go "whaaaaaat?!?!?!" Lilabettt may have been a bit irritated, but she has a very vaild point.

The romance period is beautiful, but it does end. And again -- expect God to act when you pray any prayer that goes like these: break my heart, make me more humble, give me patience, etc.

FCC -- you have every right to post what you did (don't beat yourself up for your post); but Lilabettt has the same right to post what she did. Both were good posts -- and it is good to hear the "watch out what you pray for" post every so often. It is a good "warning" for those who are newer. (Although sometimes the best lessons come with the naive prayers )
[/quote]

I honestly agree with Claire. I think she is right. Lilabettt is right in that we should know what we are praying for, but if anyone questions if Claire knows what she is praying for they should sit in the corner for an hour and think about what they have done. She has gone through more than most naive college students have by the time they graduate. There is no need to tell her that she is naive and that she doesn't know what she is doing. She is well aware.

However. Off-topic.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Christina Thérèse' timestamp='1352787358' post='2509057']

FCC, if Lilllabettt was irritated by your post, it wasn't your fault. The prayer you posted was good. I know I've prayed something to that effect, although I haven't been in as bad of a situation as you have (I think), I've still been in a place where I had to give God everything and sacrifice my own desires (for health in particular) if that was what He willed. Lilllabettt is right, total surrender to God [i]is[/i] hard, but it is also worth everything. Keep on, and know that however weak you are God still loves you and loves to see you surrender your will to Him, no matter what anyone else says. A psalm that nearly became my mantra for the few months I was suffering health wise was Psalm 117: "O praise the Lord, all you nations, acclaim Him, all you peoples! Strong is His love for us; He is faithful for ever." It helped to know that even though life wasn't going my way, God still loved me. He still cared about me, and would work all things together for good, even though they might not be good in and of themselves (cf. Romans 8:28). And He [i]did[/i] use that time of suffering for good. I learned to trust Him, to surrender myself to Him, to really pray to Him.... Sometimes we need to learn, and sometimes we learn by pain. I think C. S. Lewis said that "pain is God's megaphone to a deaf world," and it's true. Sometimes pain is how we hear, when we won't hear any other way.

But I'm getting pretty far off track from the OP here. I don't have anything to add about you, FP.... Prayers, maybe....
[/quote]
Thank you so much.

FP, sorry for hijacking your thread.