FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1352856798' post='2509547'] FCC - Actually I don't think you tore yourself up in this. In fact there is a lot of down right emotional manipulation in your post. No, I will not let you get away with it because you're sick. I have been sick and I know the last thing sick people need is for people to give them a pass. I am sorry that, as you say, you are easily upset by little things. That is a hard problem to have. I frankly think you are made of tougher stuff than you admit to us or to yourself. That said: I too am sorry the prayer became a "thing." I gave it unnecessary attention. God hears your prayers and is very pleased by them. But I've learned by personal experience and wise direction that this kind of prayer - the blank-check/victim-soul type prayer - requires a great deal of spiritual maturity and is not something that bears casual recommendation. Even saying it with the proper disposition is a significant challenge for most people. There are many ways to become a saint, many ways to pray for God's will to be done, without explicitly inviting Him to break your heart. [/quote] I don't know your whole situation, and you don't know mine, so I'd appreciate if I wasn't told I was emotionally manipulative to the others. I'm not asking for a pass for anything, I too hate that. But, I don't know what I'd need a pass for? My post was simply explaining why I pray that prayer. It's a lot more than me just being sick, thank you. You don't know what is going on with me, and I also don't know what is going on with you. So, I am sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'll tell you what's wrong with her: She's moody, and she has a superstitious outlook on prayer. I'll tell you what's wrong with me: I'm a faithless bastard in love with the world and the things it has to offer. I know you didn't say "wrong", but that's what needs to be said: "What in Asgard's latrines is wrong with you, woman?" Maybe in all caps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1352785079' post='2509031'] I'm sorry that you're irritated and going through whatever it is you're going through. I get that you're irritated and I'm sorry I posted that in the first place, I didn't realize it would cause the problems it did. However, I honestly didn't need to hear the above quoted post. I've been on the verge of tears for the past several weeks, and little things have been completely setting me over the edge. If there's one thing I'm not it's inexperienced. Nor am I brave. I am desperate, and the weakest person I know of. But I do know what I've been through.[/quote] Lillabett has made a few posts on VS about having to leave her religious community due to serious and very painful illness, after being happy there as a novice, and other posts about the difficulty of adjusting to a tough and emotionally demanding job afterwards (once she was well enough to work, that is). Reading through the lines, things have been very hard for her, perhaps more than she has ever said. From what I've seen of her, she's handled it with a lot of grace, but I can understand her reaction to such a prayer about heartbreak. You are very right about the need to have trust in the will of God, but wouldn't quietly asking Him to help you understand Lillabett's meaning have been a deeper gesture of such trust than writing the post above? It does have quite a passive-aggressive tone to it. Claire, I think you are a wonderful and brave young girl. You are also going through a tough time right now. But sometimes from your posts I do get the impression that you are so caught up in your own medical problems and the uncertainty in your own life that you forget other people may have had experiences that are just as difficult, if not worse. This is absolutely not a criticism; i think it's actually a pretty normal problem for a young teenager to have. You're not alone with it and there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Just be gently aware that the tendency is there, and in future perhaps take a few moments to remind yourself that everybody you interact with has a past and life experiences that are not visible to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1352859823' post='2509578'] Lillabett has made a few posts on VS about having to leave her religious community due to serious and very painful illness, after being happy there as a novice, and other posts about the difficulty of adjusting to a tough and emotionally demanding job afterwards (once she was well enough to work, that is). Reading through the lines, things have been very hard for her, perhaps more than she has ever said. From what I've seen of her, she's handled it with a lot of grace, but I can understand her reaction to such a prayer about heartbreak. You are very right about the need to have trust in the will of God, but wouldn't quietly asking Him to help you understand Lillabett's meaning have been a deeper gesture of such trust than writing the post above? It does have quite a passive-aggressive tone to it. Claire, I think you are a wonderful and brave young girl. You are also going through a tough time right now. But sometimes from your posts I do get the impression that you are so caught up in your own medical problems and the uncertainty in your own life that you forget other people may have had experiences that are just as difficult, if not worse. This is absolutely not a criticism; i think it's actually a pretty normal problem for a young teenager to have. You're not alone with it and there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Just be gently aware that the tendency is there, and in future perhaps take a few moments to remind yourself that everybody you interact with has a past and life experiences that are not visible to you. [/quote] I never intended any of that. I apologize. I think it's time for a break from Phatmass for me for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1352859974' post='2509581'] I never intended any of that. I apologize. I think it's time for a break from Phatmass for me for a while. [/quote] Wrong answer. The correct response from you should have been thus: [quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1352859823' post='2509578'] Lillabett has made a few posts on VS about having to leave her religious community due to serious and very painful illness, after being happy there as a novice, and other posts about the difficulty of adjusting to a tough and emotionally demanding job afterwards (once she was well enough to work, that is). Reading through the lines, things have been very hard for her, perhaps more than she has ever said. From what I've seen of her, she's handled it with a lot of grace, but I can understand her reaction to such a prayer about heartbreak. You are very right about the need to have trust in the will of God, but wouldn't quietly asking Him to help you understand Lillabett's meaning have been a deeper gesture of such trust than writing the post above? It does have quite a passive-aggressive tone to it. Claire, I think you are a wonderful and brave young girl. You are also going through a tough time right now. But sometimes from your posts I do get the impression that you are so caught up in your own medical problems and the uncertainty in your own life that you forget other people may have had experiences that are just as difficult, if not worse. This is absolutely not a criticism; i think it's actually a pretty normal problem for a young teenager to have. You're not alone with it and there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Just be gently aware that the tendency is there, and in future perhaps take a few moments to remind yourself that everybody you interact with has a past and life experiences that are not visible to you. [/quote] Oh, hey. Right. Piss off, then. See? That's how you handle these jackanapes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1352860106' post='2509583'] Wrong answer. The correct response from you should have been thus: Oh, hey. Right. Piss off, then. See? That's how you handle these jackanapes. [/quote] Can I kindly say that this is not helping? All of us have stuff we're dealing with. Mine happens to have stolen too much of my newly teenage life from me, and so it's been hard. But I'm going to leave it at that. I don't want a pass. Lillabett has gone through extremely difficult parts of her life too, and while there's no way for me to understand, I want to leave it alone. I'm just going to take a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Look, a post about Future's priesty stuff. I know, let's pick at a prayer and then get dramatic about our own personal stories while tearing down someone who did absolutely nothing wrong. You harpies are unbelievable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1352860306' post='2509589'] Look, a post about Future's priesty stuff. I know, let's pick at a prayer and then get dramatic about our own personal stories while tearing down someone who did absolutely nothing wrong. You harpies are unbelievable. [/quote] I'm too dramatic about mine. That's what I've been afraid of doing, and look, I did it. I'm really sorry, Lillabett. And FP. And all of y'all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1352860255' post='2509588'] Can I kindly say that this is not helping? All of us have stuff we're dealing with. Mine happens to have stolen too much of my newly teenage life from me, and so it's been hard. But I'm going to leave it at that. I don't want a pass. Lillabett has gone through extremely difficult parts of her life too, and while there's no way for me to understand, I want to leave it alone. I'm just going to take a break. [/quote] Cool. But you're not wrong. There was nothing wrong with your prayer, and no reason for anyone to criticize you for it. If anyone needs to take a break, it's the ones who have a bizarre notion of God as needing blank checks from praying kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I think Winchester's frustration is right on, here. Monkey's Paw is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 While I appreciate people defending me, I don't think it's helping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) If I draw their rhetorical fire, they will have to choose between continuing to mess with FCC or remembering to breathe. Edited November 14, 2012 by Winchester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) nevermind. not worth it. Edited November 14, 2012 by Lilllabettt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) To get back to the OP - I just want to echo the sentiment that as wonderful as this change is in your life right now, you are still young, and things (and your feelings) may change yet again, many, many, many times. So go easy on your parents who are just concerned that their teenage son not get too dogmatic about anything - whether it be his previous desire to be a priest or his current desire to be a psychologist and get married. Believe it or not, you are INCREDIBLY young! I speak as an old fogie who has been through so much in my own life that I can see the patterns for others as well. I also raised a daughter, and the teenage years were very dramatic and traumatic and full of changing ideas and feelings. If you had told me when she was 7 years old (when I adopted her) that she would end up in the US army, and loving it - I would have called you insane. Her hatred of any kind of authority was that strong. But after 3 years, she has re-enlisted for another 3 because she loves it so much! All I am saying is not to put yourself into a box - even one of your own making. You MAY end up a married psychologist, you MAY end up a priest yet, or you may end up something completely different from either of these scenarios... time will tell. Continue to love God and trust in Him, and just enjoy your life as it unfolds. Edited November 14, 2012 by nunsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1352861889' post='2509610'] To get back to the OP - I just want to echo the sentiment that as wonderful as this change is in your life right now, you are still young, and things (and your feelings) may change yet again, many, many, many times. So go easy on your parents who are just concerned that their teenage son not get too dogmatic about anything - whether is be his previous desire to be a priest or his current desire to be a psychologist and get married. Believe it or not, you are INCREDIBLY young! I speak as an old fogie who has been through so much in my own life that I can see the patterns for others as well. I also raised a daughter, and the teenage years were very dramatic and traumatic and full of changing ideas and feelings. If you have told me when she was 7 years old (when I adopted her) that she would end up in the US army, and loving it - I would have called you insane. Her hatred of any kind of authority was that strong. But after 3 years, she has re-enlisted for another 2 because she loves it so much! All I am saying is not to put yourself into a box - even one of your own making. You MAY end up a married psychologist, you MAY end up a priest yet, or you may end up something completely different to either of these scenarios... time will tell. Continue to love God and trust in Him, and just enjoy your life as it unfolds. [/quote] Beautiful sentiments, nunsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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