Lil Red Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jan 2 2005, 05:10 PM'] I think there is a romanticized idea of struggling and being poor. It can bring a couple closer, but it can drive a wedge as well. [/quote] amen to that.
rachael Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Andrea348' date='Jan 2 2005, 07:23 PM'] I agree very much. I would not have a problem with struggling financially as long as the reason for struggling wasn't laziness. As long as my future husband was hard working and tried the best he could, that would be enough. [/quote] agreed!
cathqat Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Tink' date='Jan 2 2005, 05:47 PM'] I actually think struggling through trials is an excellent way to strengthen a marriage, because it leads you more to depending on Christ alone. [/quote] I agree. I had some male friends in college who were adamant that they would never even dream of getting married until they had all their student loans paid off. They would not date seriously, nor consider another alternative, they told me. I told them they were crazy. While I respected the fact that they [i]wanted[/i] to be responsible, they were underestimating the value of teamwork during that time of life. Didn't they realize that working off student loan debt was something that many women wanted to do [i]with[/i] their husbands as a team effort? My parents worked their way to financial stability [i]together[/i], and I know their marriage is much stronger for it. It requires struggle and commitment, but it can work out very well for the marriage.
cathqat Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jan 2 2005, 07:10 PM'] I think there is a romanticized idea of struggling and being poor. It can bring a couple closer, but it can drive a wedge as well. [/quote] People can romanticize it, and that's foolish, I agree completely. But I have seen it forge some very deep bonds. Not without plenty of crosses, trials, and tribulaions, of course. You have to be crucified to rise again. But it can be very positive. I think the trial will be what you make of it, a bond or a wedge.
traichuoi Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Benedict' date='Jan 2 2005, 12:04 PM'] They say money cannot buy love, but it can rent it. I guess I am lucky. Sam actually wants to avoid having a lot money in her marriage. I do too. Rich kids tend to be spoiled. Poverty builds character. [/quote] lol....i AGREE!!!! wholeheartedly... i work with rich kids...i am a youth minister at a wealthy parish and mostly it's hard for those teens to understand the concept of suffering and death...the paschal mystery is hard to grasp.
homeschoolmom Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 there's a difference between abandoning excess materialism (not having all the latest electronic stuff, etc) and I'm all for that. But being unable to support your family is something else again... I hope this makes sence... I am really tired... Zzzzzzzzzz
theculturewarrior Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 Poverty is when you kill an unborn child because you don't want to be late on your house payment.
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 wow, u ppl make me feel selfish...all this time i keep thinkin about what i am gonna do when i get outta college, and how i am gonna do this, and how i am gonna do that...thank you for the reality check, i needed it. but now that i have read the above thread... 1. If i get married, it will be after i graduate from college and have a fairly stable job. I wanna be on my feet b4 i change my life forever. 2. Its almost always been character that sends sparks off in me. Thus far, all the hotties I've met that r n my age range, kno they r cute and that bugs me. 3. so, i guess im in the btwn range...right now, i say id be uncomfortable with someone dirt poor, and yeah, money would be nice...but what if i fall in love with someone not so rich? i kno my family would support my decision, but expect me to do whats right...y'all r right, its love that bonds, and cash that often breaks...Until then, I'm gonna live my life right, until (if) God brings that someone into my life...
cathgirl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 As long as the man is capable of a steady job I don't think it'd bug me. I think that a couple living w/out much money could either help them or hurt them. I think it depends on the people and what they believe. (that prob. doesn't make sense, but I'm bad at putting some thoughts to words )
theculturewarrior Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 I think it's best to be somewhere in the middle. Too much is bad for the soul. Not enough is bad for the stomach.
cathgirl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 I agree. Personally, I think that I could easily get stressed out if I had to live in poverty for an excessive amount of time( 10 yrs etc. ) I think I oculd do it, but it probably would turn out well.
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 yeah, im 16 tho, so im really not worrying about it much...i dont want a bf rite now, and im perfectly fine on my own, but, answering the big IF question to the best of my abilities, i wanna be in the mid-upper middle, like we r now... both my parents r working so that they can send all 3 daughters to private catholic schools...we have to sacrifice, but were happy
cathgirl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='FightingforGod' date='Jan 3 2005, 11:47 AM'] yeah, im 16 tho, so im really not worrying about it much...i dont want a bf rite now, and im perfectly fine on my own, but, answering the big IF question to the best of my abilities, i wanna be in the mid-upper middle, like we r now... both my parents r working so that they can send all 3 daughters to private catholic schools...we have to sacrifice, but were happy [/quote] That is a lot like I am. I don't have a bf and am fine w/ it, too.
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 For a virgin to reject another virgin for a non-virgin on the basis that the non-virgin has more money is a slap in the face to all virgins. There is a word for someone who sells their love for money.....
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 01:27 PM'] For a virgin to reject another virgin for a non-virgin on the basis that the non-virgin has more money is a slap in the face to all virgins. There is a word for someone who sells their love for money..... [/quote] whered that come from? this is about love. i kno somenoe who married a nonvirgin knowingly, she told him before they got married, and theve been together for 19 yrs now, have 3 daughters, and r totally happy!
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='FightingforGod' date='Jan 3 2005, 01:30 PM'] whered that come from? [/quote] It stems from the opening two posts in this thread. The issue is what is more important, money or virtue. Maybe if you were one of the virgins rejected you'd understand the point I was trying to make.
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='FightingforGod' date='Jan 3 2005, 01:30 PM'] i kno somenoe who married a nonvirgin knowingly, she told him before they got married, and theve been together for 19 yrs now, have 3 daughters, and r totally happy! [/quote] And what about any virgins that were rejected in order for this person to marry the non-virgin? What about their happiness? Huh?
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 im afraid im somewhat confused, ill hafta go bak and read it, u sound as if ur speaking from past experience, if so, if sorry...but i told those peoples story bc i thought that it showed an example of love...
homeschoolmom Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 01:50 PM'] And what about any virgins that were rejected in order for this person to marry the non-virgin? What about their happiness? Huh? [/quote] yes, but most people are only deciding "yes" or "no" to a particular person... not choosing from among many. If a virgin is dating a non-virgin and decides to marry that person (out of love) should that person say, "nah, I'll hold out for a virgin" even though there are no virgins "in the running"? Do we decide on a mate based on the condition of their bodies? I'm not saying it isn't good and right to be a VTM-- it is, but it's only one factor in deciding a spouse... and rejecting someone because of his/her virginity is just plain stupid...
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 thank you hsm, u just said what i was trying to put into words...i love moms!
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