Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jan 3 2005, 02:04 PM'] If a virgin is dating a non-virgin and decides to marry that person (out of love) should that person say, "nah, I'll hold out for a virgin" even though there are no virgins "in the running"? Do we decide on a mate based on the condition of their bodies? I'm not saying it isn't good and right to be a VTM-- it is, but it's only one factor in deciding a spouse... and rejecting someone because of his/her virginity is just plain stupid... [/quote] BALONEY!!!!! 1) But there ARE virgins in the running! 2) Rejecting someone on the basis of virginity is NOT stupid! It sends out a signal that it is valued. It is about validating our efforts and hard work! For a male, staying a virgin until marriage is the HARDEST thing he can do and so should be REWARDED and NOT TRIVIALIZED!!! Take a lesson from the working world: if you take your good workers for granted, you risk losing them. Do you want that on your conscience????
Balthazor Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 It is times like this when I ask myself, Balthazor do you really want to enter into this? Then of course I stupidly do. Lord have mercy upon me. I do not think money is an issue unless there is someone really really destitute or really really lazy. I can't handle lazy, I also can not handle poor choices. I dated a man who continually had money problems, not because he was lazy but because he did not know how to handle money. He had a well paying job and should not have had money issues, but he was continually in debt because he frittered it away on non-essential and trivial things. It was nerve racking. I do not believe I would really want that quality in a mate. I have also dated a guy who had nearly no money because he (like me) was a college student. It was great though, we never spent much because we just did not have much. It was great sharing Ramen noodles and talking. But his lack of money was not the result of poor management, or poor money skills. It was because all of his time and money was in school. That relationship worked out much better. I suppose what I am trying to say is that money does not matter to me as much as how you handle your money. As for being able to choose and be picky about whether someone is a virgin or not I forfeited that right a long time ago. For me it is not whethet or not a person made a mistake or was stupid in the past, but rather that they are virtuous now and in the future will be virtuous.
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Balthazor' date='Jan 3 2005, 03:35 PM'] As for being able to choose and be picky about whether someone is a virgin or not I forfeited that right a long time ago. For me it is not whethet or not a person made a mistake or was stupid in the past, but rather that they are virtuous now and in the future will be virtuous. [/quote] But there are a lot of us who have NOT lost the right to be picky and frankly (speaking for myself at least) I am getting sick and tired of being taken for granted. As I said, staying a virgin until marriage is the hardest thing a male can do and when you've kept it as long as some of us have under the conditions some of us have you deserve to receive a reward to tell you the sacrifice has meant something, and a non-virgin plain and simpkle doesn't do it. Otherwise, it sends out a signal that it pays more to be a fornicating bum. "The laborer deserves his wages". A lot of us have a lot of overtime pay coming to us.
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 sry to say this, but arent u bein a little demanding... "you shall trust the Lord your God..." Im sure God has someone special in store for you, u just have to be patient for your reward...
bookin'it Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Balthazor' date='Jan 3 2005, 02:35 PM']For me it is not whether or not a person made a mistake or was stupid in the past, but rather that they are virtuous now and in the future will be virtuous.[/quote] All For the Glory of God! Few things are more encouraging to me than to know men (single, married, consecrated) who are committed to living a life of purity. Their self-discipline, humility and love for God are beautiful witnesses to Love. I do celebrate and appreciate their sacrifices. It should be noted, though, that just because someone is a virgin does not mean that he should be automatically in "the running" as a spouse. Likewise, just because someone is not a virgin should not mean he is out of "the running." A dear friend of mine lost her virginity in high school and struggled with serious sexual sins for years. By God's mercy she is now committed to living a lifestyle of purity and sincerely regrets her past mistakes. And they are exactly that - in the past. She repented, God has forgiven her, how dare we presume to not do the same. We are human, we sin and unfortunately none of us will approach the altar without some blemish. Still, we are called to be perfect just as our heavenly Father is perfect. Let us build each other up through charity and encourage each other (Hebrews 3:13).
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='FightingforGod' date='Jan 3 2005, 04:04 PM'] sry to say this, but arent u bein a little demanding... "you shall trust the Lord your God..." Im sure God has someone special in store for you, u just have to be patient for your reward... [/quote] No more demanding than a laborer who seeks a paycheck for the work he's done! Let's get another thing straight. You're only 15; I'm 40. You don't lecture me about patience; [i] I lecture you[/i]!! Capeesh?
FightingforGod Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 im sorry if ive offended u in any way, i am totally unaware of ages here. i understand. ill shut up now...
cathqat Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jan 3 2005, 02:04 PM'] rejecting someone because of his/her virginity is just plain stupid... [/quote] I agree. You should marry the person you love, trust, and want to spend the rest of your life with, virgin or not. Valuing a person based on what they have done or do, [i]instead of who they are[/i], is horribly [i]offensive[/i]. I am not saying that saving sex for marriage does not matter. All people should save sex for their spouses, and everyone would be much happier if they did. But no one should be rejected simply because they are a virgin or not a virgin.
cathqat Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 03:58 PM'] As I said, staying a virgin until marriage is the hardest thing a male can do and when you've kept it as long as some of us have under the conditions some of us have you deserve to receive a reward.... "The laborer deserves his wages". A lot of us have a lot of overtime pay coming to us. [/quote] I wouldn't be surprised if many women reject someone with a disgusting attitude like that! Do you even begin to realize how denigrating your words are to women?!?!?!?! Women are not your "reward" or your "wage" to be possessed! :mad: (I only regret that I couldn't find a "puke" smiley.)
Norseman82 Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='cathqat' date='Jan 3 2005, 04:50 PM'] I wouldn't be surprised if many women reject someone with a disgusting attitude like that! Do you even begin to realize how denigrating your words are to women?!?!?!?! Women are not your "reward" or your "wage" to be possessed! :mad: (I only regret that I couldn't find a "puke" smiley.) [/quote] Did you ever consider that the so-called "disgusting" attitude is a result of rejection by your half of humanity in the first place? How much do you honestly expect a person to put up with? Your half of humanity is only reaping what you have sown....
cmotherofpirl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 (edited) [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 06:24 PM'] No more demanding than a laborer who seeks a paycheck for the work he's done! Let's get another thing straight. You're only 15; I'm 40. You don't lecture me about patience; [i] I lecture you[/i]!! Capeesh? [/quote] You don't need to lecture anybody on this board, the mods are quite good at it. Edited January 3, 2005 by cmotherofpirl
cmotherofpirl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 07:19 PM'] Did you ever consider that the so-called "disgusting" attitude is a result of rejection by your half of humanity in the first place? How much do you honestly expect a person to put up with? Your half of humanity is only reaping what you have sown.... [/quote] None of the women have have sown it, so dish it out elsewhere. You think somebody owes you something special since you did the right thing? Do the right thing is the minumun required of everybody.
homeschoolmom Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 3 2005, 03:18 PM'] BALONEY!!!!! [/quote] "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." sound familiar? Are you saying that a virginal person should not forgive a non-virgin's past sins and they are somehow not marriable? Please don't get me wrong-- my husband and I both valued virginity and are raising our children to value it as well until they are married. But it seems to me that you somehow place sexual sins in a "graver" category than all others...
Norseman82 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jan 3 2005, 05:26 PM'] You think somebody owes you something special since you did the right thing? Do the right thing is the minumun required of everybody. [/quote] As opposed to rewarding someone who does NOT do the right thing at the expense of someone who does? What would happen if you ran a company like that, where you rewarded the people who did NOT do the right thing and penalized/ignored the people who did? Nobody would want to work for you! So....YEAH....I DO!!!!
Norseman82 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jan 3 2005, 07:15 PM'] But it seems to me that you somehow place sexual sins in a "graver" category than all others... [/quote] As I said before, that is the hardest thing a male can do. Please look at it from a male standpoint and maybe you will see my point.
DancesforLove Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 I hate to break it to you, but God is the only one who has the right to judge anybody and I highly doubt you are a wonderful saint. If you can sit here and HONESTLY tell me you haven't done something you shouldn't have and that you have never commited sin then you might have a TINY right to discuss what someone else is worthy of receiving. But regardless of how Holy you might consider yourself, you still have no right to discuss what someone deserves. BTW I feel its neccesary to use this quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times, if neccesary use words" - St. Francis of Assisi So if you want anyone here to believe you are this wonderful person that has made all these right decisions, I'd hop off that high horse of yours and look at those people who have made a bad desicion as the equal person they are. You are not better than a nonvirgin by any strech of the imagination, neither am I or anyone on here. We are ALL equal and God is the one who gets to decide who has made the right decisions and HE ONLY gets to judge who is worthy of love!
cmotherofpirl Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Jan 4 2005, 12:04 AM'] As opposed to rewarding someone who does NOT do the right thing at the expense of someone who does? What would happen if you ran a company like that, where you rewarded the people who did NOT do the right thing and penalized/ignored the people who did? Nobody would want to work for you! So....YEAH....I DO!!!! [/quote] Everyone sins and there are far worse sins than sexual ones.
Norseman82 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jan 3 2005, 05:26 PM'] None of the women have have sown it, so dish it out elsewhere. [/quote] Let's see.... Rejecting virgins for non-virgins and when you ask why they refuse to answer... Mocking people for actually believing and getting hope from what is preached in the gospel... Making a person feel guilty for wanting a family of their own.....pushing them back whenever they try to come out of their shell, dealing blows to their self-confidence.... Maybe you haven't seen that, but I certainly have....and these are Catholic women I'm referring to I've met!!! So I'll allow that you haven't seen it. Now please allow me what I've seen.
Norseman82 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 [quote name='DancesforLove' date='Jan 3 2005, 10:13 PM'] I hate to break it to you, but God is the only one who has the right to judge anybody and I highly doubt you are a wonderful saint. If you can sit here and HONESTLY tell me you haven't done something you shouldn't have and that you have never commited sin then you might have a TINY right to discuss what someone else is worthy of receiving. But regardless of how Holy you might consider yourself, you still have no right to discuss what someone deserves. BTW I feel its neccesary to use this quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times, if neccesary use words" - St. Francis of Assisi So if you want anyone here to believe you are this wonderful person that has made all these right decisions, I'd hop off that high horse of yours and look at those people who have made a bad desicion as the equal person they are. You are not better than a nonvirgin by any strech of the imagination, neither am I or anyone on here. We are ALL equal and God is the one who gets to decide who has made the right decisions and HE ONLY gets to judge who is worthy of love! [/quote] It's about appreciating the people who put forth the effort. Again, once you enter the working world and see the negative effect on morale that not appreciating the effort good employees make you will see my point.
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