MEN!

[journeyman]

Isn't this "sort of" the reason for some of the third orders? People were called to ministry, but not to ordination or vows? There were some "orders" which never received official sanction, but operated as communities, with and without diocesan support . . . until they were officially disapproved (the Beguines?)


Catholictothecore . . . part of the problem with quitting before putting the client ahead of family is that it leaves the client in the lurch . . . and bar associations love to yank licenses when clients interests are harmed . . . you need to either be extremely well organized - so there are no "crisis" situations - or extremely flexible (because a client crisis is rarely something that can be scheduled) - or a lawyer whose practice has no deadlines . . . if you can find the latter, please post

[Ash Wednesday]

If being single was an unacceptable permanent state or calling, then what about people who are emotionally or mentally unfit to be a spouse, or, a priest or sister? All of these vocations are certainly not cakewalks. Some people are simply not mentally or emotionally cut out to share a life with another, and it is difficult for them to be in a community on a regular basis outside of the mass. I know of people that are like this. They have crosses that they must bear every day.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='argent_paladin' date='May 21 2005, 02:42 AM'] I think that single life can be a true vocation. HOWEVER, I think that modern culture is so anti-life and anti-marriage that I would be very careful about discerning a call. In only a generation, the average age of marriage has increased from about 23 to about 27. More and more people are staying single. And of course more and more are getting divorced. There is a crisis in the vocation of marriage. I don't think that God is suddenly calling fewer people to get married and raise children. I think that it is more likely that many are ignoring the call by focusing on their educations or careers above answering their vocation. And the older you get, the harder it gets. Read WHAT OUR MOTHERS DIDN'T TELL US: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman by Danielle Crittenden. Her thesis is that for biological and psychological reasons, women are generally best served by having children young and a career later. And she says that women tend to unfairly blame men (as this thread does). Women are going against basic biology by seeking a career while young and being sexually active and then desire marriage at about thirty. Generally speaking, women are more physically attractive at 20 rather than 30 and their children will have a greater chance of being born healthier and without complication. Look at it from the average guy's point of view. He can choose to have sex without commitment with 20-year-olds or sex with marriage with 30-year-olds. Given that choice, and basic biology it is not surprising what the average man chooses. If women were chaste and married younger, then the choice wouldn't be so stark. Today, in educated society, it is much more looked down upon to be married at 18 than at 38. And having your first baby at 18 is much less approved of than your first baby at 38. But globally and historically, it wasn't unusual for a woman to be married much younger and to have children much younger.
The idea that women are supposed to be "sexually active" by 16 but not married until they have a career (around 30) creates a society of irresponsible men, because women are providing sex with no strings attached for the peak years of their life. Then, after they have wasted their flower of youth on random men and have a solid career (because that is who they are) they decide to get married, because it is expected.
We are living in a very sick society and we need to retrieve the vocation to married life. I don't think that there is too much pressure to get married. Rather, there is too little. Feminists and others tell us that women shouldn't marry before graduating from college and even then, if they get married, they shouldn't have kids until they can have a career, and both parents will share the responsibilities of raising the socially responsible two children equally, with government provided day-care and maternity-leave. [/quote]
Excellent post, argent.

Cohabitation is another reason people don't marry.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='May 22 2005, 02:49 PM'] If being single was an unacceptable permanent state or calling, then what about people who are emotionally or mentally unfit to be a spouse, or, a priest or sister? All of these vocations are certainly not cakewalks. Some people are simply not mentally or emotionally cut out to share a life with another, and it is difficult for them to be in a community on a regular basis outside of the mass. I know of people that are like this. They have crosses that they must bear every day. [/quote]
Unfortunately, in todays's "culture of therapy" where the twelve steps have replaced the Ten Commandments, it seems just about anybody can be ruled emotionally unfit!

[Socrates]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='May 22 2005, 10:02 PM'] Unfortunately, in todays's "culture of therapy" where the twelve steps have replaced the Ten Commandments, it seems just about anybody can be ruled emotionally unfit! [/quote]
True, but would you really want to be married to a raving psychotic?

I know I don't!

[God Conquers]

Here I am!

[master_alterserver]

I don't get this...I try my hardest to be a real gentlemen. I open doors for girls. I look away when girls are wearing low-cut shirts or short skirts. But it seems like all the girlsgo with the guys who try and look up their skirts or who grab their butt when they walk by. Even the girls at school who claim to be Catholic. I am not trying to get a date (becasue I am discerning my vocation to the priesthood) but I think it stinks that the jerks at school get rewarded for being jerks. I get ignored.

[missionarybelle]

then those girls are jerks too!! I promise good girls NOTICE when guys do that!!! Seriously I was in Mass the other day and I noticed this one guy who sang, let his sis go first etc etc and I TOTALLY noticed!

[Luthien]

[quote name='master_alterserver' date='May 24 2005, 06:39 AM'] I don't get this...I try my hardest to be a real gentlemen. I open doors for girls. I look away when girls are wearing low-cut shirts or short skirts. But it seems like all the girlsgo with the guys who try and look up their skirts or who grab their butt when they walk by. Even the girls at school who claim to be Catholic. I am not trying to get a date (becasue I am discerning my vocation to the priesthood) but I think it stinks that the jerks at school get rewarded for being jerks. I get ignored. [/quote]
...you know what? This is so familiar.

I always feel like guys are looking ay girls in lowcut tops and shirt skirts, and ignoring me because I wear modest clothing.

It certainly goes both ways.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Socrates' date='May 23 2005, 06:19 PM'] True, but would you really want to be married to a raving psychotic?

I know I don't! [/quote]
What I'm referring to are not the true cases of mental illness. I'm referring to the refusal of cliquish snobs who are stuck in a high-school clique mentality to accept people who may have come from the proverbial "wrong side of the tracks" whether it be due to family (or lack thereof) or class background and just to get rid of them want to wall them off into their own little "ghetto". I've heard remarks of "He's a good Catholic but comes from a dysfunctional family, so stay away from him" (earth to snottie, earth to snottie, what family is perfectly functional?). And yes, I've run into these types at Catholic events - including the Opus Dei parish, so this is not limited to groups whose fidelity to Rome is suspect.

Catholic dating needs to get cleaned up big time.

[Socrates]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='May 24 2005, 10:55 AM'] What I'm referring to are not the true cases of mental illness. I'm referring to the refusal of cliquish snobs who are stuck in a high-school clique mentality to accept people who may have come from the proverbial "wrong side of the tracks" whether it be due to family (or lack thereof) or class background and just to get rid of them want to wall them off into their own little "ghetto". I've heard remarks of "He's a good Catholic but comes from a dysfunctional family, so stay away from him" (earth to snottie, earth to snottie, what family is perfectly functional?). And yes, I've run into these types at Catholic events - including the Opus Dei parish, so this is not limited to groups whose fidelity to Rome is suspect.

Catholic dating needs to get cleaned up big time. [/quote]
I'll agree with you, but I think Ash Wed. was referring to people with genuine mental illnesses.

[Matty_boy]

My brother just graduated college and can't seem to find a good Catholic girl/woman willing to enter a relationship. Oddly enough, he's in the next room playing guitar for a girl with whom he worked Totus Tuus.

[ReinnieR]

[quote name='Raphael' post='594029' date='May 18 2005, 02:00 PM'][quote name='ReinnieR' post='594028' date='May 18 2005, 01:58 PM']
yeah a catholic priest. i feel like i shouldn't say anything to her though because it's not my business.
[/quote]

It's most certainly your business. Any priest of our Church who is not following his vows is the business of the faithful, not to see him condemned, but to bring him to light.
[/quote]
Micah do you remember this???

apparently they have a baby now. and she wants me to be the Godfather.

[SinginForHim]

God should always be your main man. He's the one who will never let you down no matter what happens...no matter what!! It's often hard for me to grasp that, but when I do, it's a very fresh feeling of relief. When you hand your relationship/love life over to God, he will weave it perfectly so you are no longer in that state of desire, but rather content with whatever position you may be in.
Putting ultimate trust in God (and also praying for our Blessed Mother's intercession) is always the best way to go about these situations. God will introduce your "perfect man" to you when the time is right, you just have to be patient (I'm living proof!!)

God Bless, and my prayers go to you and all other men and women that are also in your situation.

[quote name='master_alterserver' post='597566' date='May 24 2005, 07:39 AM']
I don't get this...I try my hardest to be a real gentlemen. I open doors for girls. I look away when girls are wearing low-cut shirts or short skirts. But it seems like all the girlsgo with the guys who try and look up their skirts or who grab their butt when they walk by. Even the girls at school who claim to be Catholic. I am not trying to get a date (becasue I am discerning my vocation to the priesthood) but I think it stinks that the jerks at school get rewarded for being jerks. I get ignored.
[/quote]

Oh, altarserver. Girls DO notice these things. I promise you. The girls who are worth your time (although I understand your discernment) will notice...the ones who allow those...jerks to take advantage of them are the ones who are simply in need of your prayers -- at this point, being a truly fine gentlemen probably won't get through to them. Keep doing everything that you are...it sends a message of hope to the "good girls" out there.

Edited December 28, 2006 by SinginForHim

[Totus Tuus]

My best friend and I stayed up late watching Pride and Prejudice last night. Afterwards I said it was a pity there are not [i]really[/i] any Mr. Darcy's in the world. She looked me square in the eye and said "we have Jesus, and He's better than a thousand Mr. Darcy's". It's so true. When I was in the monastery (where there are a lot less distractions than in the world, of course...) I learned how true this is; how you can talk to Him like a beloved (even if you're meant for marriage someday). So don't be anxious. Until you find "the one" in this world, meant just for you, created by God and destined for all eternity to be for you alone, Jesus will fill all the emptiness. Trust in Him!