Breastfeeding At Mass

[StColette]

[quote name='Galloglasses' Alt' post='1755646' date='Jan 19 2009, 04:32 PM']Exceptional circumstances by the fault of a tiny little Mid-Mass-Mischeif-Maker.[/quote]

lol Micah had totally missed what had happened and thought I was just acting up during Mass, I was sitting next to one of my roomies after all.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='StColette' post='1755378' date='Jan 19 2009, 03:21 PM']Very cute

Aaron wore my dad's baptismal gown. Thank goodness for oxyclean. The gown had been sitting in a cedar chest for over 50yrs and had become a yellowy color. Soaked it in oxyclean for about an hour and it was bright white.

I've noticed that baptismal gowns aren't that popular for boys nowadays.[/quote]

We have a gown that was bought when my older sister was born--just about every child in the family has used it, with the exception of a couple cousins. I think one of my sisters opted to use only part of it because she thought it was a little to frilly when she had boys. (it's a whole set with gown, cape, hat, under-dress, and it's got lace trim, with white ribbons and little pearly beads) If I have a boy I'll still probably use the whole thing... maybe skip the cape and bonnet, since (if the Baptism is down here in the south) it'll be pretty warm out at that point.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1755338' date='Jan 19 2009, 07:00 PM']+J.M.J.+
I guess it's okay with the Vatican:
[url="http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Papacy-and-Vatican/ss/events/wl/033002pope/im:/090111/ids_photos_wl/r2744040624.jpg"]http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Papacy-and-V...r2744040624.jpg[/url][/quote]
Very cool

[quote name='StColette' post='1755350' date='Jan 19 2009, 07:08 PM']On a side note lol did anyone have their little boys where a baptismal gown or did you opt for the little suit?[/quote]
Both My mom knit a beautiful cap, gown, & shawl; Kieran grew so quickly that we weren't sure it would still fit him at the baptism. His godparents got him a little white suit that was a bit too large. He was actually baptised in the suit, though, and then I squeezed him into the gown for pictures for my mom.

[sweens8403]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1595365' date='Jul 8 2008, 06:11 PM']I've never understood why anyone would make this a big deal-- either in church or the mall.[/quote]

One of my Aunts used to do this during sunday family get-togethers and it drove me nuts. So much so that I would leave the room whenever she did it. What's the big deal about going somewhere private to breastfeed? Is it such an imposition? Yes its a natural thing, but there are plenty of natural things that people don't want to see.

Yes infants need to eat frequently, but do they need to eat every hour on the hour? Can't it wait till after mass?

[Lil Red]

[quote name='sweens8403' post='1759307' date='Jan 23 2009, 11:36 AM']Yes infants need to eat frequently, but do they need to eat every hour on the hour? Can't it wait till after mass?[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
uh, no. with our first, i would try to feed her before Mass. you can't force feed an infant who is not hungry. and if she got hungry during Mass, there's only so much placating to be done before you have on your hands a screaming crying infant. i would rather endure dirty looks for breastfeeding than a screaming crying baby.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='sweens8403' post='1759307' date='Jan 23 2009, 01:36 PM']One of my Aunts used to do this during sunday family get-togethers and it drove me nuts. So much so that I would leave the room whenever she did it. What's the big deal about going somewhere private to breastfeed? Is it such an imposition? Yes its a natural thing, but there are plenty of natural things that people don't want to see.

Yes infants need to eat frequently, but do they need to eat every hour on the hour? Can't it wait till after mass?[/quote]
Where, exactly, is a private place at the mall?

[MithLuin]

I do know women who greatly prefer privacy. There was a get together at our house that was mostly adults, but some kids, and my task was to look after the little ones and keep them out from underfoot. One mother was breastfeeding, and she was very grateful when I showed her an out-of-the-way bedroom she could use. I made some off-handed comment about how it was her 4th, so it probably didn't matter, but if she wanted....and her response was definitely, 'oh no, I much prefer privacy.'

My sister would seek out privacy at a family party, or some othe big crowd, but if she's just visiting her own immediate family -- she's not going to make a big deal of it. She'll just feed the baby and stay part of whatever is going on. She does have 2 young brothers (18, 20) and I don't remember them making a fuss about it. I'm not saying they were comfortable, just that they didn't complain or ask her to get a room or anything.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='sweens8403' post='1759307' date='Jan 23 2009, 06:36 PM']One of my Aunts used to do this during sunday family get-togethers and it drove me nuts. So much so that I would leave the room whenever she did it. What's the big deal about going somewhere private to breastfeed? Is it such an imposition? Yes its a natural thing, but there are plenty of natural things that people don't want to see.

Yes infants need to eat frequently, but do they need to eat every hour on the hour? Can't it wait till after mass?[/quote]
As Red said, you can't force an infant to feed. Kieran usually needs to be fed during Mass. Mass happens to fall during a time that he normally likes to eat anyway. And during one growth spurt, he did eat every hour on the hour. The only options for where to feed Kieran at our parish is to stay where I am, off to the side and out of the way (no one around me realises that he's eating usually, and I don't show anything), to go to the foyer, which is open to the cold Mersey air, or to walk across the sanctuary and disrupt both the Mass and the children's liturgy, as that's the only other place with chairs. If I have him in a carrier I can sometimes feed him standing, but he doesn't especially like to feed that way.

During a family get-together the woman might think that's one place where she shouldn't have to relegate herself to an out-of-the-way area. After all, we nursing moms like to visit with the family as well. And when you have a child that will sometimes take a [i]really [/i]long time to feed, you don't always want to be in some other room for all that time.
[quote name='Lil Red' post='1759310' date='Jan 23 2009, 06:41 PM']+J.M.J.+
uh, no. with our first, i would try to feed her before Mass. you can't force feed an infant who is not hungry. and if she got hungry during Mass, there's only so much placating to be done before you have on your hands a screaming crying infant. i would rather endure dirty looks for breastfeeding than a screaming crying baby.[/quote]

[aalpha1989]

It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 28 2009, 10:46 PM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]

95% of the time the people around her have no idea that she is feeding a baby, so it is certainly not distracting, or inappropiate.

[sweens8403]

Well, even though it seems I have incurred the wrath of all the moms in here I still maintain that it bugs me. As for a reason why I don't like it when women do it in public places, I dunno. Breastfeeding is a totally natural thing, and if asked my opinion I would encourage any mom to do it; breastfed babies recieve significant boosts to their little immune systems from mum, and they tend to be healthier in general. But I doubt many pet peeves have any real reason why they bug people, they just do.

[Bubblicious]

Yes, if done discreetly.

Not a parent.

The first time I saw a mother breastfeeding during Mass, it totally caught me off guard. Even took me a minute to figure out what was happening. I didn't think anything was weird about it, it just surprised me.

If you're paying attention to the Mass, you won't notice.

[Socrates]

Those breastfeeding cloths (or whatever they're called) which cover up the breast and part of the baby's head are very discreet, and do not show anything at all. That's quite different than ladies whipping out their boobs in church.
There's also cryrooms (though I realize some object to those) to avoid creating too much of a disturbance.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 28 2009, 07:46 PM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]
bull croutons. read through the whole thread to see rebuttals of your position. including pictures of Mary, quite openly breastfeeding.

[quote name='Socrates' post='1765198' date='Jan 28 2009, 08:23 PM']Those breastfeeding cloths (or whatever they're called) which cover up the breast and part of the baby's head are very discreet, and do not show anything at all. That's quite different than ladies whipping out their boobs in church.
There's also cryrooms (though I realize some object to those) to avoid creating too much of a disturbance.[/quote]
yes, and most moms do use a cover cloth. as far as i'm concerned, at one parish i attend, the 'cryroom' is basically a breezeway to the restrooms, not any more private than sitting in church. at another parish, they don't even have a cryroom.

[cmotherofpirl]

Yep, and you certainly don't want to feed someone while you are sitting on a toilet!

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:46 AM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]
Sometimes there really isn't another place. As I've said before, my parish has no cry room. My options are to go to the foyer, which is open to the cold air, or walk across the sanctuary with a crying baby to where the children's liturgy is, thus disrupting them as well. Again, I've also said before that I sit in an out-of-the-way place so that people aren't disturbed.

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1765125' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:50 AM']95% of the time the people around her have no idea that she is feeding a baby, so it is certainly not distracting, or inappropiate.[/quote]
Yep. I've had a grand total of 1 person figure out what I was doing, as far as I know. That was during the Sign of Peace, as people aren't generally looking at me at any other time.

[quote name='Bubblicious' post='1765179' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:16 AM']If you're paying attention to the Mass, you won't notice.[/quote]
Exactly.

[quote name='Socrates' post='1765198' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:23 AM']Those breastfeeding cloths (or whatever they're called) which cover up the breast and part of the baby's head are very discreet, and do not show anything at all. That's quite different than ladies whipping out their boobs in church.[/quote]
Some of them are called Hooter Hiders. For some kids (like mine) using a cover is actually less modest because he has a tendency to pull it off and then pull himself off. So I tend to go the tanktop under a looser sweater route, so there's really no skin showing at all. I did use a nursing cover at first, when he was really little, though.

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1765321' date='Jan 29 2009, 04:57 AM']+J.M.J.+

bull croutons. read through the whole thread to see rebuttals of your position. including pictures of Mary, quite openly breastfeeding.


yes, and most moms do use a cover cloth. as far as i'm concerned, at one parish i attend, the 'cryroom' is basically a breezeway to the restrooms, not any more private than sitting in church. at another parish, they don't even have a cryroom. [/quote]

Edited January 29, 2009 by Archaeology cat

[Ziggamafu]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1595362' date='Jul 8 2008, 06:02 PM']+J.M.J.+
i came across two articles, one from [url="http://theanchoressonline.com/2008/07/08/nursing-at-the-mall-and-at-mass/"]the Anchoress[/url], who linked to the article from [url="http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4022&Itemid=48"]insidecatholic.com[/url].

from the article from InsideCatholic.com:


from the anchoress:

my emphasis added.

[url="http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_myblog&show=PHOTOS-Another-rude-woman-breastfeeding-at-Mass.html&Itemid=127"]here's a link with some interesting pictures.[/url][/quote]

My wife always breastfed at Mass. We always took a baby blanket; she looked silly, but she was basically cocooned whenever it was going on and you couldn't even tell what was going on (e.g., she may have been cold or something). I see nothing wrong with it in this context. If she didn't breastfeed in public than she would have never been out with the baby - never would have went to Mass.

[StColette]

[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 28 2009, 09:46 PM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]

Can you provide substantial support to say that breastfeeding would distract people? The only reason I could see that it would be distracting is if a person was watching a mom the entire time and happened to notice she was breastfeeding. Number 1, why is the person looking around at the people during Mass instead of paying attention to the Mass. Number 2, if a person does happen to glance over at a breastfeeding mom all one has to do is turn away, most moms are well covered so this usually doesn't matter. One need not sit there at watch the mom as she breastfeeds. Also what do you think people did before breastpumps and formula? Breastpumps and formula have made breastfeeding in public less common. But the days before these things women would most certainly breastfeed their babies during Mass. What is the mom supposed to do back then, not attend Mass? That's just not spiritually or emotionally healthy. My dad was born before the ages of breastpumps and formula, so my grandmother would breastfeed him at Mass. How can something be not inappropriate then and now be inappropriate? And as someone else pointed out, sometimes there is not anywhere else to go. Plus I find it more distracting for someone to get up and down out of their seat at Mass then a mom to quietly feed her child while keeping her seat. Yeah there is usually a cry room, but cry rooms are anything but private and are usually filled with people who do not belong there.

At the Steubie conference last year there was a young breastfeeding mom sitting a row ahead of our group, which our group had teenage boys in it. I was worried about how the boys would react toward breastfeeding, especially being teenage boys. They weren't phased at all by it. Most men, even teenage boys, are mature enough to handle a mother breastfeeding, because seriously there's not anything really sexy about it.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Ziggamafu' post='1765586' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:03 PM']If she didn't breastfeed in public than she would have never been out with the baby - never would have went to Mass.[/quote]
Very good point. I'd never get out if I couldn't feed Kieran in public.

[quote name='StColette' post='1765628' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:03 PM']Plus I find it more distracting for someone to get up and down out of their seat at Mass then a mom to quietly feed her child while keeping her seat.[/quote]
Agreed.

[Veridicus]

Be discrete. If someone complains, then be even more discrete. Use the cry room if available. Some people may really struggle with sexual issues and just the thought of a bare breast may scandalize them and set their mind down a dark hallway, regardless of how natural and innocuous the initial stimulus was. Just be discrete and always, always consider how your actions affect others. The thing about scandal is you can't just say "well they shouldn't be scandalized by that" and dismiss their struggle and go on doing whatever you want. Be considerate, be discrete...and God bless you for caring enough to breast-feed your child!

Edited January 29, 2009 by Veridicus