txdinghysailor Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='picchick' date='09 September 2009 - 03:13 PM' timestamp='1252520026' post='1963886'] Yes. So now maybe you can see. Hugging is innocent unless the intention there is to arouse the other person. Grinding is intentionally used to arouse. [/quote] Some girls I know grind their hips into you when they hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='StColette' date='09 September 2009 - 02:52 PM' timestamp='1252518740' post='1963883'] Not creepy, just true. Some of the most chaste men I know struggle with that often. It's not their intention to become aroused just by holding hands or looking into their significant others eyes. It just one of those things that happen. Most of the men I've talked to about this say it isn't because of the physical touch from holding hands or being close to someone, but because they love the person so dearly that those feelings of attraction are naturally there. [/quote] It's the other way around... the physical contact, not love or even physical attraction. Arousal is a purely physical response certain stimuli, like sneezing is to an itch in your nose. Sometimes it happens even with close relatives where there is (hopefully) no romantic attraction whatsoever. Men just learn to ignore it. Of course, this is why we become pretty good at ignoring women we are actually attracted to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 We don't like to be ignored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='Theoketos' date='09 September 2009 - 03:24 PM' timestamp='1252520652' post='1963893'] I don't think that there should be high school dances, though I am sure I could keep my job if I said it too loudly and too often. [/quote] Perhaps... I find it interesting, having learned more about the history behind dances, how many of them were not much more virtuous than grinding. It's like how our grandparent's thought Elvis and Three Dog Night were bad influences. [quote name='missionseeker' date='09 September 2009 - 03:54 PM' timestamp='1252522463' post='1963904'] ok.. so it's not creepy, I guess. But what do you do then? Like... would it then be sinful for him to look in her eyes? To hold her hand? How do you balance that? I'm not very experienced in this stuff. I just know I like being close. But what do you do if that becomes a problem? how do you get around that? [/quote] See my previous post: basically, arousal in itself doesn't mean anything. The decisions a guy makes in response to it (choosing to entertain thoughts, push boundaries, etc.) are where sin enters the picture. In a sense, you want a guy to be aroused by certain things, but even more, you want him to have the discipline to live rightly. Of course, how you carry yourself plays a part in that too, both in helping him, and in what kind of guys are attracted to you in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='rachael' date='10 September 2009 - 11:19 AM' timestamp='1252592348' post='1964409'] We don't like to be ignored. [/quote] Did you say something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 In response to the poll: I don't get the point of classifying this as venial or mortal sin. For one, there are varying degrees of grinding depending on just how much two people want to mess around, so I could see some not being a sin at all and others being close enough to sexual intercouse that it may well be mortal sin. All I can do is use some common sense and my conscience to judge each situation on its merits (or lack thereof). Second, the more serious grinding can be very objectifying of those involved. That makes the question of marriage irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='LouisvilleFan' date='10 September 2009 - 10:17 AM' timestamp='1252592266' post='1964408'] It's the other way around... the physical contact, not love or even physical attraction. Arousal is a purely physical response certain stimuli, like sneezing is to an itch in your nose. Sometimes it happens even with close relatives where there is (hopefully) no romantic attraction whatsoever. Men just learn to ignore it. Of course, this is why we become pretty good at ignoring women we are actually attracted to [/quote] So you're saying love and physical attraction aren't stimuli? I'm pretty sure my husband would beg to differ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='txdinghysailor' date='10 September 2009 - 07:50 AM' timestamp='1252583457' post='1964387'] Some girls I know grind their hips into you when they hug [/quote] That's what happens when you have to pay for hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='StColette' date='10 September 2009 - 10:57 AM' timestamp='1252594665' post='1964425'] So you're saying love and physical attraction aren't stimuli? I'm pretty sure my husband would beg to differ. [/quote] To be fair, Micah has had to beg for most things in his life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='LouisvilleFan' date='10 September 2009 - 10:17 AM' timestamp='1252592266' post='1964408'] It's the other way around... the physical contact, not love or even physical attraction. Arousal is a purely physical response certain stimuli, like sneezing is to an itch in your nose. Sometimes it happens even with close relatives where there is (hopefully) no romantic attraction whatsoever. Men just learn to ignore it. Of course, this is why we become pretty good at ignoring women we are actually attracted to [/quote] [quote name='StColette' date='10 September 2009 - 10:57 AM' timestamp='1252594665' post='1964425'] So you're saying love and physical attraction aren't stimuli? I'm pretty sure my husband would beg to differ. [/quote] Yeah I would say my husband would agree with Micah. Perhaps for some guys it is just the physical contact that does it, but for others it is a more complex response involving emotional and physical attraction. Not being a guy, of course, I cannot swear to this, but it has come up in conversation from time to time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='hot stuff' date='10 September 2009 - 10:23 AM' timestamp='1252596212' post='1964431'] That's what happens when you have to pay for hugs [/quote] [quote name='hot stuff' date='10 September 2009 - 10:43 AM' timestamp='1252597430' post='1964436'] To be fair, Micah has had to beg for most things in his life [/quote] Double zing! Unfortunately I have no free +1s at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='StColette' date='10 September 2009 - 07:57 AM' timestamp='1252594665' post='1964425'] So you're saying love and physical attraction aren't stimuli? I'm pretty sure my husband would beg to differ. [/quote] You don't even need to grab Micah. I would beg to differ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='hot stuff' date='10 September 2009 - 11:23 AM' timestamp='1252596212' post='1964431'] That's what happens when you have to pay for hugs [/quote] [quote name='hot stuff' date='10 September 2009 - 11:43 AM' timestamp='1252597430' post='1964436'] To be fair, Micah has had to beg for most things in his life [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 [quote name='Terra Firma' date='10 September 2009 - 01:08 PM' timestamp='1252602522' post='1964471'] Yeah I would say my husband would agree with Micah. Perhaps for some guys it is just the physical contact that does it, but for others it is a more complex response involving emotional and physical attraction. Not being a guy, of course, I cannot swear to this, but it has come up in conversation from time to time. [/quote] Yeah, I would say for some men it's more of the physical contact that does it, but from the men that I've spoken with it's more of an emotional level and physical attraction. I can't swear by this either, but like you said it has come up in conversations with other guys and my husband. [quote name='Slappo' date='10 September 2009 - 01:12 PM' timestamp='1252602754' post='1964473'] You don't even need to grab Micah. I would beg to differ. [/quote] lol glad we have a man that agrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts