Lisa Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1304981141' post='2239311'] I do too [/quote] I learned about Saul and David from Sister Mary David today I might watch again tomorrow. Really, it's good stuff, no matter what age you are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Magdalene Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1304952816' post='2239058'] This thread needs to be revived and I'm going to revive it because I've got a lot to say! First I feel I should mention that the convent at my Parish has two Orders sharing it, the Order I'm discerning with and the Religious Filippini Sisters. We've just found out the the Filippini Sisters will be leaving in June. I've never been a fan of them but it's sad and surprising that they're leaving. Some of them were my teachers. Actually we only had three. That community is really dying out. But as long as my Order does not leave, I'll be content. Second of all, I got to meet Sr. Barbara who is stationed in Africa and she gave a talk at all the Masses this weekend about her mission. She was really inspiring. I was walking in our May Procession with her yesterday. It was nice. I was waiting for a connection to be made with her and I finally got it. She and I have the same birthday! It's pretty cool! I had said I wanted to meet more Sisters from this Order and God is slowly answering my prayers! And the final thing was my dear friend Sr. Jessica had a birthday yesterday so I gave her a card. It was a good day. I'm very happy! [/quote] Yay!! I'll be praying for you, I hope everything works out for you. Its great that your finally meeting more of the sisters. Which order are you discerning with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Letter from my friend, Sr. Karis, who is a Poor Clare in Northern California!! I went to high school with her. It had been about two years since I had last written (bad friend, I know...), so this was the first time she'd heard of my discernment and acceptance into the SSVMs. I didn't expect a response, since she's only allowed to write to family. BUT MOTHER SUPERIOR GAVE HER SPECIAL PERMISSION TO WRITE ME BACK!!!!! It's a beautiful letter! And very encouraging for me! AND SHE KNOWS THE SSVMs!!!!!! Apparently the SSVMs and Poor Clares are close friends in N. California. I didn't realize it, but their convents are only like 20 miles away. So the SSVMs come over once a moth for a day of reflection and sing solemn vespers with the Poor Clares!! HOW FRIGGIN AVVESOME IS THAT?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 [quote name='Mary Magdalene' timestamp='1304988063' post='2239370'] Yay!! I'll be praying for you, I hope everything works out for you. Its great that your finally meeting more of the sisters. Which order are you discerning with? [/quote] The Franciscan Sisters Missionaries of the Heart of Jesus and of Mary Immaculate. They are a fairly new community but there is a thread about them on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Oh the range of feelings. Current feeling: Hopelessness. The it’s-never-really-gonna-happen-anyways sort of feeling. Frustrated. But, ya know what? My feelings don’t define me. I know that it’s all in God’s hands. I know that all things work together for good. I know that this is God’s will. This will pass. Most likely pretty quickly. I’ll wake up tomorrow and this feeling will have faded. And I’ll likely be on the opposite end of the spectrum. So I’m gonna acknowledge my current feelings. And offer it all up anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 [quote] Oh the range of feelings. Current feeling: Hopelessness. The it's-never-really-gonna-happen-anyways sort of feeling. Frustrated. But, ya know what? My feelings don't define me. I know that it's all in God's hands. I know that all things work together for good. I know that this is God's will. This will pass. Most likely pretty quickly. I'll wake up tomorrow and this feeling will have faded. And I'll likely be on the opposite end of the spectrum. So I'm gonna acknowledge my current feelings. And offer it all up anyways. [/quote] I have fought very hard over the years against a comment that was made to me in my first Carmel... "It isn't about feelings." because I am a very feeling-oriented sort of person. But I have learned that it is true - it isn't about feelings. Right now I am feeling very confused. I didn't want to discern religious life anymore because it hurts too much and I have been through too much already to be able to face yet more rejections and 'failures'. I know all the theories and philosophies about how it isn't failure, etc etc.... and I know intellectually it is all about learning things and trusting God, but let's face it, we are human beings, and we DO have feelings, which affect us very strongly. Perhaps that is part of my Cross, or just a way to make me grow in spiritual strength, but sometimes I get really confused about what God is asking of me, and I wonder why it has to be so hard..... ...but then I might pray the Office or receive Communion or just talk to Jesus and I feel better about it all, and understand that it is all because He loves me, and my feelings settle down again. It's a bit like the psalmists... they might start off asking God why He allows evil doers to flourish while the good suffer, and why He won't listen to our cries, but by the end of the psalm, they are always praising Him and singing His glory again. Human nature?? Last night I dreamt that I had to hide from some bad guys in a convent of Dominican nuns (I don't know why Dominican - but that will please DS) so they dressed me up in a habit and pretended I was one of them. After the danger had passed, I had to take off the habit and give it back, and I just started crying and almost screaming with anguish and despair that I couldn't be one of them. I woke up feeling very distressed indeed. Something deep inside me just won't let go of this dream, despite all my doubts and fears and worries that it is just my stubbornness that won't let me give up. There are good days and there are bad days.... but since the feelings do come and go, the most important thing is perseverence and commitment. "lead Thou me on...one step enough for me". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 My current feeling, mixed up. I swore I had my heart set on one Order and one Order only. Then I started considering the SSVMs. And now I'm potentially going to meet with them in a month. While I am looking forward to meeting with them, I'm scared I'm going to fall in love with this Community as well. Then I won't be able to pick one. I haven't been able to meet with many Sisters in the first Order of my choice because many of them are in France and Italy. I really wanted to meet with the Sister I was emailing while I was in Rome but it didn't work out. And now I haven't heard from her in a few weeks which is worrying me. My mom said if I have enough money, I could probably go out to France during my next Spring Break. I didn't think I would ever feel this way. I never even gave Religious Life a second thought before I met my friends. Now I'm finding myself so confused about choosing an Order. I just want to know I'll still have my friends after I do choose an Order. Please pray for me before I really do start banging my head on a wall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1301595610' post='2225096'] Part of entering, but first discerning religious life is being willing to give up your old dreams. You have to be willing to give up dreams of grad school, marriage, children, and what have. Whatever dreams you had for yourself you must be willing to give up. The thing is God has way better plans for you than you could ever make for yourself and so you must trust in Him and His plans. In all of this mess I trust that God will take care of me and that he has a plan for me. I have turned my life and will over to His care. [/quote] This is so true. In the beginning of my discernment I had my own dreams about what kind of community I was to be in and what kind of Apostolate I wanted. I had to be willing to even give that up. Often times we forget that total abandon to the Lord's will is not just in choosing marriage over religious life but in whatever vocation we believe we are called to. If it is marriage then we must trust him with the rest and if it is Religious Life we must trust him with that as well. In the beginning I was like a freight train ready to take control of finding my spiritual home but I had to learn to give the reins to Him (I am still learning to do that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1305748036' post='2243286'] My current feeling, mixed up. I swore I had my heart set on one Order and one Order only. Then I started considering the SSVMs. And now I'm potentially going to meet with them in a month. While I am looking forward to meeting with them, I'm scared I'm going to fall in love with this Community as well. Then I won't be able to pick one. I haven't been able to meet with many Sisters in the first Order of my choice because many of them are in France and Italy. I really wanted to meet with the Sister I was emailing while I was in Rome but it didn't work out. And now I haven't heard from her in a few weeks which is worrying me. My mom said if I have enough money, I could probably go out to France during my next Spring Break. I didn't think I would ever feel this way. I never even gave Religious Life a second thought before I met my friends. Now I'm finding myself so confused about choosing an Order. I just want to know I'll still have my friends after I do choose an Order. Please pray for me before I really do start banging my head on a wall [/quote] FutureSister, I understand how you may feel torn about this community that you have your heart set on and the SSVMs. However, I commend your openness. It is this openness that will lead you to your home. Yes you may fall in love with the SSVMs but if it is not where God is calling you, you will know it. Just like if the Lord is calling you to look elsewhere, he will show you that too. I had my heart set on a particular community and didn't want to visit any other orders but I did and when it came down to choosing I felt like I could not choose but then I trusted and prayed and found myself not choosing but rather recognizing where God was calling me. The choice to say yes to the Lord is yours however when it comes to the community, if you let Him lead you by the hand you will have nothing to worry about. You will definitely find your home. Prayers for you, Hopeful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 [quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1305749779' post='2243300'] FutureSister, I understand how you may feel torn about this community that you have your heart set on and the SSVMs. However, I commend your openness. It is this openness that will lead you to your home. Yes you may fall in love with the SSVMs but if it is not where God is calling you, you will know it. Just like if the Lord is calling you to look elsewhere, he will show you that too. I had my heart set on a particular community and didn't want to visit any other orders but I did and when it came down to choosing I felt like I could not choose but then I trusted and prayed and found myself not choosing but rather recognizing where God was calling me. The choice to say yes to the Lord is yours however when it comes to the community, if you let Him lead you by the hand you will have nothing to worry about. You will definitely find your home. Prayers for you, Hopeful [/quote] Thank you so much for your kind and helpful words. I've almost thought now that I just want to meet the SSVMs for the sake of just meeting them because they seem like such wonderful people. Every time I see my Sisters, I just feel it in my heart that I want to be a part of their Community. Like I said, it was the very first Religious Order I ever fell in love with so I guess that it most likely means it is the right Order for me. I just want to meet more of them first so I can really know if I can truly see myself living in a Convent for the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 [quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1305748373' post='2243288'] This is so true. In the beginning of my discernment I had my own dreams about what kind of community I was to be in and what kind of Apostolate I wanted. I had to be willing to even give that up. Often times we forget that total abandon to the Lord's will is not just in choosing marriage over religious life but in whatever vocation we believe we are called to. If it is marriage then we must trust him with the rest and if it is Religious Life we must trust him with that as well. In the beginning I was like a freight train ready to take control of finding my spiritual home but I had to learn to give the reins to Him (I am still learning to do that) [/quote] Everything has to be given up no matter what life you are called. Faith is all about surrender, surrendering your will to God's will, learning to bend your will to God's will and not the other way around. I forget to surrender all the time, every day. I surrender to God and then I take it back and try and run my life. Especially right now with everything seeming to going totally wrong. Nothing seems, feels, looks, sound right at the moment. I feel totally trapped and alone, even though I know that I am free and that God is with me always. I feel like I have become a burden on others because my life is so crazy right now and as my "friends" fall away I feel my trust in people fading and I feel more and more trapped and my hope leaving. I no longer have the energy to fight for anything or anyone. I'm in the process of moving and I had to go to my mom's to get my clothes and we had a huge blowout where she finally admitted that it's not me joining a convent that caused her to kick me out and not talk to me, but the fact that my step dad does not like me. She got mad because I pointed out that she chose him over me and proceeded to tell me how it's all my fault she chose him, because I am a horrible, worthless child that she should have aborted. I called my best friend and he has gone into hiding and isn't talking to me. I called my other "friends" and they tell me to stop complaining and just smell of elderberries it up. The next day I had to work and the guy I went to uni with who raped me showed up. I called my "friends" and no one had time for me. I haven't told anyone any of this because no one will listen, so I stopped talking. Maybe here isn't the right place, but I had to get it out. Emilie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1305787391' post='2243515'] Everything has to be given up no matter what life you are called. Faith is all about surrender, surrendering your will to God's will, learning to bend your will to God's will and not the other way around. I forget to surrender all the time, every day. I surrender to God and then I take it back and try and run my life. Especially right now with everything seeming to going totally wrong. Nothing seems, feels, looks, sound right at the moment. I feel totally trapped and alone, even though I know that I am free and that God is with me always. I feel like I have become a burden on others because my life is so crazy right now and as my "friends" fall away I feel my trust in people fading and I feel more and more trapped and my hope leaving. I no longer have the energy to fight for anything or anyone. I'm in the process of moving and I had to go to my mom's to get my clothes and we had a huge blowout where she finally admitted that it's not me joining a convent that caused her to kick me out and not talk to me, but the fact that my step dad does not like me. She got mad because I pointed out that she chose him over me and proceeded to tell me how it's all my fault she chose him, because I am a horrible, worthless child that she should have aborted. I called my best friend and he has gone into hiding and isn't talking to me. I called my other "friends" and they tell me to stop complaining and just smell of elderberries it up. The next day I had to work and the guy I went to uni with who raped me showed up. I called my "friends" and no one had time for me. I haven't told anyone any of this because no one will listen, so I stopped talking. Maybe here isn't the right place, but I had to get it out. Emilie [/quote] Em, NO ONE should ever talk to you the way your mother did. Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but I know you deserve better. Your "friends" are not friends at all if they don't give you the time of day and retreat everytime you need help. Maybe this is Jesus' way of stripping you of this world and making you trust in Him alone. I don't know how He does things, but I still believe that it is important to have faith, especially in the times when everything seems to go wrong. I kind of understand a little of what you are going through since my mom threatened to kick me out of the house if I don't find a job soon. I've been looking for almost a year now and nothing has materialized, but she is not being very understanding. We had a huge fight a few nights ago and she said some things that really hurt me (I know I said some pretty bad stuff, too). Right now, it's like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm praying as hard as I can, but it is very, very, very difficult, especially when the faulty, sinful side of me says that God is not listening to my prayers (even though I know He is). I'm literally scared to death of what could happen in the next few months. I know I need to have faith that God will provide, but the practical side of me doesn't want to listen. It's all about what needs to be done NOW so I'm not homeless in the future. I started a Novena to St. Joseph about 5 days ago and I will include you in my prayers. I pray that you are able to find a sanctuary so that you can have peace once again. I also pray that your mom will come to her senses and apologize to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/amen.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Prayers for all of my dear friends at VS, particularly those who are suffering!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 [quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1305804054' post='2243544'] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/amen.gif[/img] [/quote] [quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1305827313' post='2243624'] Prayers for all of my dear friends at VS, particularly those who are suffering!!! [/quote] Thank you very much for your prayers. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts