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Top Ten Reasons Not To Be Catholic


dUSt

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DiscerningCatholic
Because flesh gets stuck in your teeth sometimes at mass. Cannibalism is so hard.

 

He got stuck under my retainer (one of those ones that sticks to the roof of your mouth and pops out) once... :ohno: 

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Because flesh gets stuck in your teeth sometimes at mass. Cannibalism is so hard.

 

 

I try to eat with my front teeth when receiving the Eucharist in order to avoid that.

This is one reason that those cranky old timers and traddies are not completely out to lunch when they recommend not chewing. :hehe:

I have avoided that issue by not using my teeth.

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carmenchristi
I try to eat with my front teeth when receiving the Eucharist in order to avoid that.

You guys CHEW the Eucharist? I used to do that, but couldn't stand walking around with pieces of Jesus in my teeth. Then I learned that pre-V2 people didn't chew but just swallowed. Ok so it's true I was taught that you are supposed to chew because the Eucharist is true food. But still..

So here is the trick. As soon as you receive communion, flip the host over in your mouth ( that way the part that touches your palate is moist and it doesn't stick) then wait a few seconds and it will be soft enough to swallow without chewing. And voila, no more Jesus pieces in your teeth. See what 28 years of Catholicism have taught me ;)
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PhuturePriest
You guys CHEW the Eucharist? I used to do that, but couldn't stand walking around with pieces of Jesus in my teeth. Then I learned that pre-V2 people didn't chew but just swallowed. Ok so it's true I was taught that you are supposed to chew because the Eucharist is true food. But still..

So here is the trick. As soon as you receive communion, flip the host over in your mouth ( that way the part that touches your palate is moist and it doesn't stick) then wait a few seconds and it will be soft enough to swallow without chewing. And voila, no more Jesus pieces in your teeth. See what 28 years of Catholicism have taught me ;)

 

Couldn't you technically just break it up with your tongue by putting it on the roof of your mouth and then applying pressure, that way it would be easier to swallow? In my parish we don't usually use the tiny broken up pieces, we use the smaller round pieces.

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i<3franciscans
All the good Catholic guys end up becoming priests or monks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not a problem for me personally, but heck, I know that there are ladies out there suffering from this. 

 

We refer to such guys as Father What-a-waste up here. :P

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PhuturePriest
We refer to such guys as Father What-a-waste up here. :P

 

You have it all wrong, I'm afraid. A Priest when I visited the Seminary said that his motto was "God gets the best and the chicks get the rest."

Edited by FuturePriest387
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homeschoolmom
Couldn't you technically just break it up with your tongue by putting it on the roof of your mouth and then applying pressure, that way it would be easier to swallow? In my parish we don't usually use the tiny broken up pieces, we use the smaller round pieces.

I have noticed that one of our priests uses the broken up pieces for those who receive on the tongue and gives round ones to those who receive in the hand. (We sit in the front pew, so I notice from time to time...) I don't like that, though. I'm trying to figure out what his reasoning for doing this is...

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PhuturePriest
I have noticed that one of our priests uses the broken up pieces for those who receive on the tongue and gives round ones to those who receive in the hand. (We sit in the front pew, so I notice from time to time...) I don't like that, though. I'm trying to figure out what his reasoning for doing this is...

 

It would actually make more sense to do it the other way around, I think.

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homeschoolmom
It would actually make more sense to do it the other way around, I think.

 

I know, right? The broken up pieces are fairly large, too. Like trying to consume a whole Dorito in one bite. Ouch.

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It is possible that the broken pieces are more likely to leave particles behind. That tends to be true in my experience.

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homeschoolmom
It is possible that the broken pieces are more likely to leave particles behind. That tends to be true in my experience.

 

Oh, yeah... that makes sense. I wish they would take the time to break them down into their smallest triangular pieces though. (They often leave two together....)

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PhuturePriest
I know, right? The broken up pieces are fairly large, too. Like trying to consume a whole Dorito in one bite. Ouch.

 

I know I'm a terrible person for saying this, but that doesn't sound too bad. I know it's the Eucharist, but I love bread and I think the wafers are absolutely delicious.

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You guys CHEW the Eucharist? I used to do that, but couldn't stand walking around with pieces of Jesus in my teeth. 

 

 

Because being Catholic would make this a serious issue.  

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PhuturePriest
Because being Catholic would make this a serious issue.  

 

It is if you acquire large quantities of spittle quickly and accidentally spit out some of Jesus while you are chatting with someone after Mass.

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