Making Out

[Basilisa Marie]

It's not a problem for them to know about the "details." It's not some kind of forbidden knowledge; it's human biology. There is nothing filthy or sinful or impure about the reproductive process of humans and nothing that needs to be kept secret from mature adults. I'm sure some people can't handle it but most are fully capable. No, I wouldn't tell a teenager all the details but I certainly hope adults do not wait until they are 2 weeks from their wedding day to learn about practicalities. Childlike innocence of these matters is most appropriate in children...in fact a few days spent in the country would cure any adult of the need to blush.

And that's the thing, you can probably count on one hand the people who sit down 2 weeks from marriage to learn the X's and O's! This is how the Church loses people, and hypocrisy sets in, when it becomes a Let's Pretend game of ignoring reality, pretending a good Christian must stick their fingers in their ears and squeeze their eyes shut so as not to be defiled by knowledge. The marriage vows are the key to the locked up section of the library... And then we are surprised when people are confused and hurt by what they learn after they finally gain access?

The ironic thing is we've even had a pope write about the mechanics of sex and orgasm - how sad if someone waited to read him until after marriage from a misplaced sense of shame.

But it's not even the Church's standard- she exhorts us to purity and modesty, and gives few details, recognizing that these are not external concepts that can be measured, quantified, or checked off. Rather these are internal spiritual conditions and deeply subjective!!! A virgin who wears a sack and keeps her mind free of the slightest sexual thought can be both immodest and impure. And vice versa. But throughout history the church has been blessed with experts, clerical and lay, eager to fill in the details and tell us otherwise. Whether out of a sense of misogyny or obsessive compulsion or some other kind of anxiety.

 

I agree - it could be reasonably argued that people wait to learn anything more than the barest mechanics until they're engaged, if people are getting married right out of adolescence. Part of it, I think, has to do with an old idea that people weren't considered real adults until they were married ("settled down"), but now we've moved to a culture where nearly all the traditional markers of adulthood have flown out the window.  Is it really appropriate for a single 30 year old to know as much as a 17 year old when it comes to sex? Regardless of whether or not we come to the conclusion that it's more okay for 30-somethings to make out than teenagers, the fact is there's a big hole in the way we're going about addressing chastity among adults, and it only seems natural to me that marriage can't be the only way people get to be "allowed" to know things. How would priests or religious counsel married couples, if this were true? 

[the171]

what the hell is happening in here

[oremus1]

@Futurepriest, you might be in a minority with those views  BUT you only need to find wife. Out of the hundreds of catholic girls you know and have yet to meet in the coming years, you only need ONE. So do not worry about the probability!! and if she really supports your views (or even shares them) she will also have her own boundaries to enable you to maintain those beliefs. i shall indeed pray to St Joseph for you. this is so wonderful that a young man will have such views. instead of telling him he is wrong, we should pray for him. quite a few protestants do this. not sure how common it is among catholics.
 

ABC, your snide tone is frankly sad for someone in a public vocation like your own.

 

I have seen a few such posts by ABC and I often think the exact same thing.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

I tried making out a few times, i don't really like it, to me it isn't that intimate it made me uncomfortable and activated the sex instinct because it was so uncomfortable and the sex drive to me is a natural response to serious uncomfortablility, to seek comfort when uncomfrtable, it is grotty and messy, and what does it prove that loving words and other actions outside of sex can't prove?  All in all i think making out is a sexual thing from my experience and if used should only be in marriage. This is all just my opinion though.

 

God is GOOD.

 

 

Bad grammer and un looked at post. I meant Making out is grotty and messy and not the sex drive. My apologise.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Oh by the way i have said it before and will say it again on and off and i'm reminding everyone the last two days. Garbage in garbage out what goes in must come out. Ya'll watch to much hollywood where the bride and groom start tounging each other when the priest says "You may kiss the bride". YOu will turn into what you eat eventually to some degree or another. :( At least pray everytime before you watch a movie or t.v. series that you may not be strayed , deluded or confused by the content of fantasy and than if you wan't to be hardcore after praying flick some holy water at the box and sign your self with the holy water. Please Please Please start doing something like this every time you entertain yourself with t.v, movies,pop 40 or the theatre.

Edited February 23, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[Selah]

what the hell is happening in here

 

Everything is sex

Don't kiss.

 

Don't hold hands.

 

DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM OKAY IT'S BAD

[oremus1]

Everything is sex

Don't kiss.

 

Don't hold hands.

 

DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM OKAY IT'S BAD

 

all of this could be avoided if everyone going on a date was fully sewn into a blanket like the amish mentioned earlier on this thread. then we would not have young people losing their virginity by listening to a dirty joke, watching a film or indulging in tango dancing.

[Ice_nine]

Everything is sex

 

PREACH

[PhuturePriest]

all of this could be avoided if everyone going on a date was fully sewn into a blanket like the amish mentioned earlier on this thread. then we would not have young people losing their virginity by listening to a dirty joke, watching a film or indulging in tango dancing.

 

I've done the tango, samba, rumba, mambo, and salsa (Otherwise known as "The Dance of Love" because it's so sensual/sexual) with both my dance instructor and his wife. Am I still a virgin?

Edited February 25, 2014 by FuturePriest387

[Lilllabettt]

dd your dance instructor or his wife give you a firm hug?

[PhuturePriest]

dd your dance instructor or his wife give you a firm hug?

 

No. But my dance instructor did tell me quite plainly that dancing is acting. Every dance is supposed to express a certain emotion, and in Latin dancing, that emotion is sex. He told me flat-out that when I do Latin dances with his wife or anyone else, I better be acting as if there's no one else in the world I want to have sex with more.

 

I was told ballroom dancing was dignified. Then I realized people think this because we're supposed to act that way, not because it actually is.

[oremus1]

I've done the tango, samba, rumba, mambo, and salsa (Otherwise known as "The Dance of Love" because it's so sensual/sexual) with both my dance instructor and his wife. Am I still a virgin?

probably not - according to the current thread on CVs - see around page 12/13. apparantly the theological and 'normal'/socially accepted definitions are different. i dont fully understand that point. if you experienced venereal pleasure, and consented to that pleasure  while dancing in this way, then no, according to that standard, you are not still one.
 

To avoid such occasions of serious mortal sin, such dancing would be best whilst sewed into the aforementioned blanket.

 

Or you could try dancing alone in the privacy of your room, making sure to stop if you feel any pleasure, and of course, ensuring the music has no offensive lyrics. perhaps try dancing alone in your room to catholic music. or try playing some gregorian chant in your cassette player or vinyl LP? there are some good records out there. you can certainly sing along, one who sings prays twice.

Edited February 26, 2014 by oremus1

[ChristinaTherese]

I've done the tango, samba, rumba, mambo, and salsa (Otherwise known as "The Dance of Love" because it's so sensual/sexual) with both my dance instructor and his wife. Am I still a virgin?

Meh. I've done the tango with a friend. Nothing sensual about it for us, just something we were being taught. I didn't even like it nearly as much as waltzing. (I mean, what could possibly be more fun than a Viennese waltz? You get to spin and fly across the room and go way faster than anything else we were taught. (But they didn't want to teach us the polka because apparently they thought it was too accident prone... maybe it's more fun.))

 

[PhuturePriest]

Meh. I've done the tango with a friend. Nothing sensual about it for us, just something we were being taught. I didn't even like it nearly as much as waltzing. (I mean, what could possibly be more fun than a Viennese waltz? You get to spin and fly across the room and go way faster than anything else we were taught. (But they didn't want to teach us the polka because apparently they thought it was too accident prone... maybe it's more fun.))

 

Waltzing in itself is pretty sexual. I don't know if you were doing it with proper postures and positions, but your right leg is supposed to go in his crotch and vice-versa. This makes it easier to move you when you dance.

[oremus1]

Waltzing in itself is pretty sexual. I don't know if you were doing it with proper postures and positions, but your right leg is supposed to go in his crotch and vice-versa. This makes it easier to move you when you dance.

and easier to fall into an occasion of mortal sin.
 

[ChristinaTherese]

Waltzing in itself is pretty sexual. I don't know if you were doing it with proper postures and positions, but your right leg is supposed to go in his crotch and vice-versa. This makes it easier to move you when you dance.

Well, my preferred dance partner and I would have rather had a nice distance of at least a few inches between us, so we definitely did not.

 

[PhuturePriest]

Well, my preferred dance partner and I would have rather had a nice distance of at least a few inches between us, so we definitely did not.

 

Then you didn't properly waltz, pure and simple. You would have gotten a terrible score in a dancing competition. :P Ballroom dancing is very rigid and specific about things like that. Your posture and positions need to be exactly right, or your score goes down. There is no "leaving room for the Holy Ghost" in any sort of ballroom dancing, and if you do, it's technically not proper dancing.

[Nihil Obstat]

Aw man, if you ever post a karate video I am going to repay your pedantry a hundred fold. :|

[PhuturePriest]

Aw man, if you ever post a karate video I am going to repay your pedantry a hundred fold. :|

 

Bring it on, Canadian. :|

[Nihil Obstat]

Your move then, kohai.