Do You Have Food Neophobia?

[blazeingstar]

Excellent. The both of you are literally perfect in every conceivable way, and should be canonized no later than immediately. I will contact Cardinal Amato post-haste.

 

When did I ever say we were perfect?  I even said we only scored a 97%, which, mathematically is not perfect.   Or maybe you're doing common core math.  In that case, 100% is perfect, 97% is not. Kapash?  

 

We've come to a workable conclusion.  One dosn't have to be perfect to do that.  Just saying that I in no way feel unprepared or undeserving of marriage because of my opinions on the matter.

 

And obvously, much to other poster's chagrin, I am married while they who do everything "perfectly" are not.  Oh well.

[Nihil Obstat]

Welp, if someone maintains that they are not going to change, have no need to change, and that everyone should be ok with that proposal, it does tend to imply certain conclusions.

[blazeingstar]

Welp, if someone maintains that they are not going to change, have no need to change, and that everyone should be ok with that proposal, it does tend to imply certain conclusions.

 

So I'm supposed to go around changing so I'l be "more perfect"....yeah, I'll skip it.  I've gotten to where I am by being exactly who I am.  Perfection has nothing to do with the way I live, it dosn't really enter my mind on a day to day basis.  Not wanting/feeling the need to change has nothing to do with perfection for me, and everything to do with simply not needing to change and ensuring I get things my way.

[Nihil Obstat]

So I'm supposed to go around changing so I'l be "more perfect"....yeah, I'll skip it.  I've gotten to where I am by being exactly who I am.  Perfection has nothing to do with the way I live, it dosn't really enter my mind on a day to day basis.  Not wanting/feeling the need to change has nothing to do with perfection for me, and everything to do with simply not needing to change and ensuring I get things my way.

So then we are right back where we started. In my opinion this is not really an appropriate attitude. And yes, of course you do not care, no need to say it.

[blazeingstar]

So then we are right back where we started. In my opinion this is not really an appropriate attitude. And yes, of course you do not care, no need to say it.

 

LOL, I just find it vastly amusing how you can't seem to accept that my attitude works for me.  I'm glad that you're not running the world else I wouldn't of been able to even think about marriage, never mind be married and waiting to have children.

[Nihil Obstat]

LOL, I just find it vastly amusing how you can't seem to accept that my attitude works for me. I'm glad that you're not running the world else I wouldn't of been able to even think about marriage, never mind be married and waiting to have children.

Lots of bad things 'work' on a practical level. Politics and business prove that well enough. An honest practice of our faith requires that we go far deeper than that.

[blazeingstar]

Lots of bad things 'work' on a practical level. Politics and business prove that well enough. An honest practice of our faith requires that we go far deeper than that.

 

LOL

 

Well, you do what works for you, I'll do what works for me.  I think your view of things is rather narrow and limited to only what you believe.  You can't seem to fathom how I choose to live my life, how I work with my husband, or how I plan to raise children.  I'm sure you probably have some belief that this will preclude me getting into Heaven....which I find amusing in itself.  I figure that God knows who I am, I give Him his due and we're all hunky dory at the end of the day.

[Slappo]

So I'm supposed to go around changing so I'l be "more perfect"....yeah, I'll skip it.

 

Umm.... yes. As a matter of fact everyone is called to go around changing to be more perfect. It's called growing in holiness and virtue.

[Nihil Obstat]

LOL

Well, you do what works for you, I'll do what works for me. I think your view of things is rather narrow and limited to only what you believe. You can't seem to fathom how I choose to live my life, how I work with my husband, or how I plan to raise children. I'm sure you probably have some belief that this will preclude me getting into Heaven....which I find amusing in itself. I figure that God knows who I am, I give Him his due and we're all hunky dory at the end of the day.

You project a heck of a lot.

[Slappo]

I should add, that growing in holiness and virtue heavily involves daily menial tasks like parenting, preparing meals, household chores, work, and family intimacy. It's certainly not limited to prayer life, spiritual reading, and the liturgy.

[PhuturePriest]

I should add, that growing in holiness and virtue heavily involves daily menial tasks like parenting, preparing meals, household chores, work, and family intimacy. It's certainly not limited to prayer life, spiritual reading, and the liturgy.

 

Forgive me, but it seems as if you are suggesting your spiritual life applies to everything you do, and that is quite simply crazy talk. Catholicism is for Sundays, fool.

[Ice_nine]

No, it doesn't. But there is a difference between a picky eater and a phobic eater. 

 

Think of your worst fear. Spiders, heights, clowns, dUSt, whatever. That fear, anxiety, stress, panic is exactly what I feel when faced with 90% of foods. I've had tantrums even as a teenager because my mother said "eat this" and I physically cannot make myself do it anymore than I could pick up a tarantula. My parents tried the "eat or you starve" thing and I would just starve. A picky eater would eventually eat out of hunger. A phobic eater wouldn't. Phobias are by nature irrational and it's a very powerful thing. There's a huge difference between picky eating and phobic eating that hasn't been acknowledged much until recently - sadly there's a lot of ignorance and unfair judgement still, as evidenced by some people in this thread. 

 

sorry, I didn't mean to be dismissive. I just don't know if it helps for everything to be classified as a disorder. It's also weird to me I guess that it's called a phobia. Are you actually afraid of the food, or of eating the food? Can other people eat those foods around you?

 

I also wonder how much our society contributes to these disorders. For example, are there people who live in slums that suffer from OCD and contamination fears? I wonder how such a phobia may arise in the case of food, and if there's typically a comorbid disorder involved. I know a bit about psychological disorders.

 

maybe its classification as a phobia is also weird to me. Doesn't jive with what I've learned about phobias.

[Gabriela]

Well, you do what works for you, I'll do what works for me.

 

This is ethical pragmatism in a nutshell, and "ethical pragmatism" is just an industrial-sounding name for moral relativism.

 

So, yes:

 

 

 

I'm sure you probably have some belief that this will preclude me getting into Heaven....

 

...because moral relativism by any name is objectively wrong, according to the Church, every pope who ever lived, Jesus, God, and everyone else worth listening to (including Nihil).

[Gabriela]

Forgive me, but it seems as if you are suggesting your spiritual life applies to everything you do, and that is quite simply crazy talk. Catholicism is for Sundays, fool.

 

Nice way to lighten the mood, FP. ;)

 

sorry, I didn't mean to be dismissive. I just don't know if it helps for everything to be classified as a disorder. It's also weird to me I guess that it's called a phobia. Are you actually afraid of the food, or of eating the food? Can other people eat those foods around you?

 

I also wonder how much our society contributes to these disorders. For example, are there people who live in slums that suffer from OCD and contamination fears? I wonder how such a phobia may arise in the case of food, and if there's typically a comorbid disorder involved. I know a bit about psychological disorders.

 

maybe its classification as a phobia is also weird to me. Doesn't jive with what I've learned about phobias.

 

I understand this. Personally, it's not a fear of the food, but of having to put it into my body, of having to feel it in my mouth. Imagine people who are asked to eat while blindfolded, then eat some wretched eight-legged thing or something, and finally are told what they just ate. It's not uncommon for someone to vomit if the animal they consumed is strongly taboo as a food item in their culture/personal psychology.

 

I do understand also the perspective that food phobias (really eating phobias) are absurd, or a "first-world problem". I do very much doubt that such phobias existed back when food was scarce, or that they exist in countries where food is still scarce today. So I do think that they are typically comorbid psychological disorders. My mother used to speculate lots about my eating issues. Her primary theory was that, when my parents divorced, I felt that I lost control over my external environment, so I compensated by exerting extreme control over my internal one (i.e., what went into it and what did not). Since my eating issues began when my parents divorced, that made sense to her.

 

But my parents divorced when I was 4, and around the same time one of my spinster aunts who had no idea how to feed a child shoved a banana down my throat and choked me. So maybe that was the cause. I still can't be in a room with an open banana today without gagging violently.

 

In my experience (and so also in my opinion), my issue is in fact neurological. I think I really don't experience textures the same way others do. But my mother's theory may have some merit, because as I've gotten older and alternately gained more control over my life while also accepting not having control as okay (because of my faith), my eating issues have gotten significantly better. My mother CANNOT BELIEVE many of the things I'll eat today! She still sits at the table with me sometimes and just stares at me while I eat, with wide eyes and mouth agape. LOL.

 

But some issues do remain...

 

I'm glad we're talking about this now in a way that seeks mutual understanding, rather than in a confrontational fashion! Maybe FP's humor was all that was needed. ;)

[PhuturePriest]

Maybe FP's humor was all that was needed. ;)

 

This is the most sensible thing that has ever been said on Phatmass.