Can a person be friends with a bishop?

[PhuturePriest]

​1) That's a personal attack.  I'm entitled to think some traditions are stupid.

2) I didn't say making friends is childish, I said setting out to make friends is.  I'm going to be nice here becuase you sound very young, but yeah, you sound really young.

​1) It's not a personal attack, it's a sarcastic remark: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=3&term=your+face

2) I still disagree with that assertion. Also, I'm 18.

3) All of this is terribly off-topic and not even an interesting subject to speak about.

Edited May 19, 2015 by PhuturePriest

[franciscanheart]

2) I still disagree with that assertion. Also, I'm 18.

  How long have you been waiting to come back with that?

[PhuturePriest]

  How long have you been waiting to come back with that?

​Well, I first joined when I was 15, so... 3 years.

[hotpink]

​1) It's not a personal attack, it's a sarcastic remark: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=3&term=your+face

2) I still disagree with that assertion. Also, I'm 18.

3) All of this is terribly off-topic and not even an interesting subject to speak about.

​1) I really don't care...you still shouldn't do it.

2) You do realize I said young and not minor, right?  nearly 80% of the American population is older than you.

3) I didn't start this anyway.

​Eh, in some situations you might want to "set out to make friends." At work, for example, or when you meet someone new. I see being friendly and making sure the other person feels comfortable with you as "making friends," even if you just remain acquaintances. 

Not the age thing again. Anything but that. -_- 

​Meh, I still see that as setting out to make connections/aquantances.  I see frendship as a sort of relationship with privilages (not friends with benefit privlages btw) but like...I'd go to make a business connection and I'd give away a book scholorship and maybe get someone to continue their education.  But that's pure transactional.

So the priest is sensitive about his age?

 

Bishops need friends, too, from both the clergy and the laity.

A bishop was recently (end of last year) installed in my former diocese, after over a year of the diocese having no bishop. He was invited to live at the deanery, but he chose to live at a parish (my former parish, in fact!) so that he could be around people and, presumably, make friends with parishioners and laity within the diocese. He's pretty good buddies with the parish priest there, is friendly with some of the youth and has his own Facebook account. Of course, there would need to be some limits or boundaries, but I believe it's very important for him to have contacts and support from a broad area, and to have people in his life with whom he can relax, unwind, and just be himself. 

​I don't disagree with bishops having friends...just saying setting out to make a friend is a bit sketchy.

 

[PhuturePriest]

​1) I really don't care...you still shouldn't do it.

2) You do realize I said young and not minor, right?  nearly 80% of the American population is older than you.

3) I didn't start this anyway.

​Meh, I still see that as setting out to make connections/aquantances.  I see frendship as a sort of relationship with privilages (not friends with benefit privlages btw) but like...I'd go to make a business connection and I'd give away a book scholorship and maybe get someone to continue their education.  But that's pure transactional.

So the priest is sensitive about his age?

 

​I don't disagree with bishops having friends...just saying setting out to make a friend is a bit sketchy.

 

You seem to have an issue with telling people not to do stuff just because you personally don't like it.

​I've never met someone so weird and against the idea of intentionally making friends, who furthermore extends this to everyone else. 

You don't like the idea of going out to make friends. That's fine. Just keep in mind that that's not necessarily the "right" way, that most everyone else disagrees with you, and that adults (yes, even clergy) trying to make friends is not in any way "sketchy" and "childish". I think cheese is disgusting -- that doesn't mean I think everyone else should hate cheese and that I think anyone who likes cheese is "sketchy" and "childish".

Edited May 19, 2015 by PhuturePriest

[CatherineM]

I was friends with my archbishop when I was in my middle to late 20's.  Kind of started when I was on the archdiocesan choir and later at meetings of the board of directors for the statewide ecumenical organization I worked for.  He was in his late 60's, and I was young but had spent most of my formative years around elderly people.  He was a head shorter than I was.  Very strange friendship, but clergy of all levels are human beings and they need the same friendships the rest of us do.  I think he looked at me like a granddaughter who came over for tea and advice.  I miss him.

[BarbTherese]

I was quite friendly with my previous Archbishop - as a teenager, I had known him as a priest and just "Father .......... "

[oremus1]

when you are friends, do you still call them as ' your excellenecy' or 'bishop x' or by their first name?

Edited May 20, 2015 by oremus1

[dUSt]

when you are friends, do you still call them as ' your excellency' or 'bishop x' or by their first name?

​I would try to use the formal title as much as possible. Just because I'm friends with my dad, I don't start calling him "Paul". I still call him dad, and sir, etc. My friendship with my dad doesn't negate the boundary of respect I maintain for him--just like your friendship with a bishop must never lose sight of the respect you should have for him.

I am great friends with Fr Pontifex. I don't think I've ever called him by his first name, ever. I always call him Father--even over beers.

 

Edited May 20, 2015 by dUSt

[oremus1]

Is it bishop firstname or bishop lastname?

[dUSt]

In every day casual conversation I would simply use "Your Excellency" or "Bishop Smith". Then, if the use of his name comes up again in the same thread I would just start saying "Bishop".

For example,

"Good morning Your Excellency! Did you enjoy your donuts?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I was just telling my friend Kevin how cool you were, Bishop."

[oremus1]

if he refers to himself as Bishop Firstname, or even +Phil what do you do, is it ok to call him the same?

[Anomaly]

My family is uber Catholic and a few of them currently work or have worked for the Dioces. We've had priests, nuns, seminarians, and the Bishop at the house and family gatherings.  Kids I've grown up and went to school with have become priests. 

I would call the Bishop, "Bishop", unless he insists otherwise.  Same for priests.  Father is appropriate, especially around other people.  Some priests I know well have asked to be called by their first name.  We/I know them well, but do not address them that way in front if others.  One in particular that used to eat at our house every month or two wanted to be called by his first name when he was at the house and my wife and I wouldn't allow it in front of our kids, LOL. 

Theyre all just people and have unique personalities.  If you are friends, you have some say with what you are comfortable with as well.  It's being mutually respectful of their position as clergy as well as the relationship you have. Defer to being more formal at first.  

[Winchester]

Sure, if you don't mind late night calls asking for a ride back from the pool hall because "They won't let me carry my mitre on the bus". Not to mention the frequent requests to pick up hats from the dry cleaners, which inevitably leads to going back because they didn't put in enough starch. You'll also end up driving to neighboring dioceses to egg the rectories of rival bishops.

What I'm saying is it's certainly possible, but it's a lot of work and you might end up interrogated by the Swiss Guard.

[dUSt]

if he refers to himself as Bishop Firstname, or even +Phil what do you do, is it ok to call him the same?

​If you are friends with him, just ask him. If you are not friends, then use the formal greeting. Bishop Lastname, not Bishop Firstname. I would never be comfortable calling a bishop by his first name alone. It is a great privilige for me to be able to address a bishop of the church--so a bishop who asks me to call him "Phil" is maybe unintentionally taking that privilige away from me.

Edited May 20, 2015 by dUSt