Why are all the guys over the age of 21

[Luthien]

[quote name='Fides_et_Ratio' date='Apr 12 2006, 10:07 PM']... how are parents/friends taking the age difference?

There is a certain fellow about the same age difference from me (I'm 21... he's 8 years older) and my mother, who's practically desperate for me to get married, refuses to let me even consider the possibility of dating him, or as seeing him as anything other than a friend-- a distant friend. lol.

And some of my friends are a bit skeptical of the whole thing as well.

For now, I'm okay with being friends (I'm not sure how ready I am for marriage... lots of college loans to pay off and such), but I am unsure how to approach the entire situation (especially since he is older and more ready to be settled down).
Sorry for the ramble/interruption.. back to the thread!
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My parents love him! He has been very considerate of the fact that I am not quite as ready as he is to tie the knot. And he has reassured me that us eventually being married would not put a wrench in my going to college and getting my degree.

Its all about comprimise. If he really cares for you, he will make it possible for you to do what you planned before you met.

[franciscanheart]

I would have to say though that your parents, Luthien, seem to be a bit more accepting on a lot of issues. I know my parents wanted to launch a full-scale investigation when I was just [i]talking[/i] to a guy who was older than me. My parents and older friends were all very skeptical, even when the guy made a huge effort to be kind and considerate and to explain himself even on things that were none of their business. He was so willing to be open and honest but they didn't want to hear him. You got lucky.

[Balthazor]

[quote name='Sirklawd' date='Apr 13 2006, 09:40 AM']its the same in CT, i have yet to see any catholic under the age of like.. 40. its so depressing.
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Oh, I know plenty of 20 something "Catholic" guys around here...
UNfortunatly they Expect sex before marriage, and spend their weekends anywhere but church. But they Claim to be Catholic......
Don't beleive in confession either come to think of it...... So you see these guys that will say "oh yeah I am Catholic too" in a bar or a club...but you almost never see them at Mass.
It is the orthodox Catholics that are hard to find.

[Luthien]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Apr 13 2006, 10:27 AM']I would have to say though that your parents, Luthien, seem to be a bit more accepting on a lot of issues. I know my parents wanted to launch a full-scale investigation when I was just [i]talking[/i] to a guy who was older than me. My parents and older friends were all very skeptical, even when the guy made a huge effort to be kind and considerate and to explain himself even on things that were none of their business. He was so willing to be open and honest but they didn't want to hear him. You got lucky.
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I wouldn't call it luck, I'd say its more they are reasonable people.

Plus they have a 12 year age difference themselves, so its not a huge shock.

I'm sorry you had to go through that though.

[franciscanheart]

Meh, it's okay. I'm just glad we made it through the rough patches (and there were a lot) and are now good friends. For a while I was scared I wouldn't get to have that.

As far as your parents, I guess since they did have a big gap in age themselves, it wasn't such a big deal. My parents are two years apart in age so anything more than that seems crazy... except that now if he was two years older that would be 21 and he can drink and i can't and... bah! Will it ever end?! :

[azaelia]

I still haven't found a good Catholic guy over 21 around here...


...he's from Kentucky. :

I wasn't even looking for him either...as a matter of fact I was totally and completely against online "dating". Just be patient. You never know when God will put a guy in your life...or a PM in your inbox.


[quote]My parents and older friends were all very skeptical, even when the guy made a huge effort to be kind and considerate and to explain himself even on things that were none of their business. He was so willing to be open and honest but they didn't want to hear him. You got lucky.[/quote]
My parents were fine with him being four years older than me, but my friends and cousins were always a little wary...but they were still considerate.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='azaelia' date='Apr 13 2006, 12:14 PM']My parents were fine with him being four years older than me, but my friends and cousins were always a little wary...but they were still considerate.
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Well he's six years older than me which, around here, is a huge deal. You can ask him yourself but they weren't very nice at all. They made his stay awful. Mind you, I didn't help much by lashing out at every possible moment ( ) but meh... what are you going to do? Again I say, you got lucky.

I guess I would have thought that since we were just friends (and had no specific intentions of being a couple... especially soon) that it might go over a little better. I guess I was wrong.

whatever.

[franciscanheart]

Oh, and your parents accepting your boyfriend being four years older than you doesn't seem like a stretch at all when your younger sister is dating someone eight years older than her... which of course makes him older than your boyfriend. My parents would die... or kill us. :

[azaelia]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Apr 13 2006, 02:20 PM']Oh, and your parents accepting your boyfriend being four years older than you doesn't seem like a stretch at all when your younger sister is dating someone eight years older than you... which of course makes him older than your boyfriend. My parents would die... or kill us. :
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This is true.

[avemaria40]

[quote name='Balthazor' date='Apr 13 2006, 12:28 PM']Oh, I know plenty of 20 something "Catholic" guys around here...
UNfortunatly they Expect sex before marriage, and spend their weekends anywhere but church. But they Claim to be Catholic......
Don't beleive in confession either come to think of it...... So you see these guys that will say "oh yeah I am Catholic too" in a bar or a club...but you almost never see them at Mass.
It is the orthodox Catholics that are hard to find.
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I know a couple good Catholic guys my age. Sadly, they're taken....

Edited April 13, 2006 by avemaria40

[franciscanheart]

I always seem to be attracted to guys who are out of my league... and older.

[azaelia]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Apr 13 2006, 02:26 PM']I always seem to be attracted to guys who are out of my league... and older.
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Not always a bad thing Someday you'll find one that thinks you're out of his league...and you'll both be amazed that the other is even interested.

[Luthien]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Apr 13 2006, 11:26 AM']I always seem to be attracted to guys who are out of my league... and older.
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Thats not a bad thing, and I doubt that they're out of your league Laura dear. You're a lovely young lady, you just havent met "the One" yet.

[avemaria40]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Apr 13 2006, 01:26 PM']I always seem to be attracted to guys who are out of my league... and older.
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I'm always attracted to guys out of my league as well but they're usually my age

[OverheadNite]

Well I'm 20..close enough, and I'm not married yet. My eventual realization is you're going to find your someone when you're meant to. There is no point looking. Because those usually end horribly. At least they have for me.