The Secret Pasts Of Phatmassers

[Amppax]

I'm very surprised the Sultan's past hasn't been revealed.  

[CrossCuT]

I think I started visiting this site when i was 17..............I was terrible and used TINY font.

I dont want to go back and read those posts or else I might be forced to never show my face here again.

[Nihil Obstat]

I think I started visiting this site when i was 17..............I was terrible and used TINY font.

I dont want to go back and read those posts or else I might be forced to never show my face here again.

I still come across them from time to time. :hehe: They aren't that easy to find though.

[CrossCuT]

Haha! Oh dear! Please withhold any judgement! 

I swear Ive changed!  :paperbag:

 

 

:bounce:

[Nihil Obstat]

Haha! Oh dear! Please withhold any judgement!
I swear Ive changed! :paperbag:


:bounce:

I always read your posts very quietly.

[CrossCuT]

Haha!

Thats too bad, I like my posts to be read out loud with exuberance! 

[Nihil Obstat]

I'm very surprised the Sultan's past hasn't been revealed.

So am I. This must be remedied.

[Nihil Obstat]

All right, since everyone was wondering, I pulled together the information I have on Hasan.

 

First we have here an important video he made during his time as the Sultan of Kashmir. This video was the daily call to prayer, and it featured Hasan preaching in his unique style which was heavily influenced by Jason and Jaime (remember back to that first video), as well as Jimmy Falwell and the Hare Krishna movement.

You will also notice Hasan's displays of so-called divine power in his frequent use of polylocation (like bilocation, but >2).

 

http://youtu.be/mg-4c4uQmdo

 

Around 1827 he was driven out of Kashmir by a group of rebels attached to the Cult of Mithras who wanted to burn him as a sexy witch. Honestly it did not help his case when he showed up for the bi-annual Halloween party dressed up as a sexy witch. It was kind of a "let them eat cake" moment.

 

Although it was obvious that his diet was working, so you have to give him that.

 

 

After being exiled from Kashmir, Hasan took up residence in the court of the Holy Roman Emperor, Francis II. Hasan served Francis as a dog walker and occasional exotic dancer for visiting dignitaries. We have video records of one such occasion, where Hasan danced for The Infante, Carlos of Spain, Count of Montemolin. Here is that video:

 

http://youtu.be/93vB-XL-rCM

[Byzantine]

You missed the extremely important part which explains why we rarely, if ever, speak to each other on here.

[Nihil Obstat]

I miss nothing.

[Lil'Monster]

I can't believe nobody has mentioned me.

 

 

 

[Nihil Obstat]

[Nihil Obstat]

Revelation: Lil'Monster is actually a man.

This was a boring one, I realize, but routine revelations require revealing just as readily as do rousing revelations.

[cartermia]

Where is thy past?

[Nihil Obstat]

O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?

[Amppax]

Excellent use of Tunak Tunak.   :winner:

[Nihil Obstat]

Such is my love of bhangra.

[Nihil Obstat]

Since literally everybody on the internet wanted to know, I have decided to reveal another small piece of my own rather colourful past. Before I began my work at the Syndicate, I spent quite a bit of time with the British Secret Service, during the Cold War. My code name was Tony. I reported to the head of the SS, Control. These personnel files are recently declassified, and I now pass them along to you:

 

http://youtu.be/4vpc6A5Owng

[Lil'Monster]

Revelation: Lil'Monster is actually a man.

This was a boring one, I realize, but routine revelations require revealing just as readily as do rousing revelations.

 

That's offensive.

[Nihil Obstat]

That's offensive.

:wave: