Dating/courtships And Physical Touch

[EstoVir_TheWay_4]

Repression = bad

Acceptance + Discipline = Good

I like kissing.
But I also like praying with my girlfriend.

Do a little of both... unless you don't want to kiss. That's ok.
Praying, however, is not an option.

[dominicansoul]

I think a good measure of what to do and what not to do would be to think of Jesus standing right there next to the two of you doing it!

[havok579257]

[quote name='dominicansoul' post='1590445' date='Jul 3 2008, 05:55 PM']I think a good measure of what to do and what not to do would be to think of Jesus standing right there next to the two of you doing it![/quote]


I can't agree with that because if Jesus was standing next to anyone, who would really have sex with their spouse right next to Jesus?

[pan!c139]

I think it's okay to kiss for a very short period of time, and to do some touching, but nothing major - it could lead to sin.

[J.P.]

Depends on the intent.

One cannot kiss to arouse themselves or to feel self gratification.

Kissing should be a natural expression of affection and affirmation. Anything other than that is a cheap counterfiet.

For me it's as easy as that. 1,2 and 3!

[pan!c139]

^ Yup same here...I don't have a boyfriend yet, but it should be pretty easy for me too...especially because I know what you said above...I just hope my boyfriend does too, otherwise he won't be my boyfriend lol

[J.P.]

Easier in theory though than it is in practice.

Stay spiritually cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean!......

...and it should be much easier to achieve that end pan!c.

[pan!c139]

Yup. I strive every day. I've never made any serious sin against purity or chastity, and my prayer every day is that I never do.

[J.P.]

*high five*

Keep it up, trooper.

[Barbarus]

[quote name='J.P.' post='1633830' date='Aug 21 2008, 06:15 PM']Depends on the intent.

One cannot kiss to arouse themselves or to feel self gratification.

Kissing should be a natural expression of affection and affirmation. Anything other than that is a cheap counterfiet.

For me it's as easy as that. 1,2 and 3![/quote]
I used to think it was easy, but I've found that being in serious relationships muddies the water pretty significantly. Kissing is a natural expression of affection and affirmation, but in the context of a serious, loving relationship it also leads to arousal. At the right time and place, it doesn't take much to get to that point.

Even if you're trying act chastely, and to honor each other in the relationship, there are times that doing that is very, very difficult because the feelings you have (both physical and emotional) are natural, but you recognize that there is a certain context in which allowing those feelings to have free reign is right, and other contexts in which it is not. And maintaining the right attitude toward the other person, particularly when the pleasure he or she gives you is so great ... this is difficult to do as well.

Love is a lot of work. Worth it, but a lot of work.

[J.P.]

[quote name='Barbarus' post='1633849' date='Aug 21 2008, 05:31 PM']I used to think it was easy, but I've found that being in serious relationships muddies the water pretty significantly. Kissing is a natural expression of affection and affirmation, but in the context of a serious, loving relationship it also leads to arousal. At the right time and place, it doesn't take much to get to that point.

Even if you're trying act chastely, and to honor each other in the relationship, there are times that doing that is very, very difficult because the feelings you have (both physical and emotional) are natural, but you recognize that there is a certain context in which allowing those feelings to have free reign is right, and other contexts in which it is not. And maintaining the right attitude toward the other person, particularly when the pleasure he or she gives you is so great ... this is difficult to do as well.

Love is a lot of work. Worth it, but a lot of work.[/quote]

Agreed.

[quote name='J.P.' post='1633842' date='Aug 21 2008, 05:25 PM']Easier in theory though than it is in practice.

Stay spiritually cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean!......

...and it should be much easier to achieve that end pan!c.[/quote]

Edited August 21, 2008 by J.P.

[pan!c139]

Personally, I prefer to save being kissed till after I'm engaged. That way, at least I know that I saved it for the man I'd be marrying. Hugs, holding hands, and few of the other innocent touches mentioned in the poll (if short, and in the right time and place) I would be ok with...

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Barbarus' post='1633849' date='Aug 21 2008, 11:31 PM']I used to think it was easy, but I've found that being in serious relationships muddies the water pretty significantly. Kissing is a natural expression of affection and affirmation, but in the context of a serious, loving relationship it also leads to arousal. At the right time and place, it doesn't take much to get to that point.

Even if you're trying act chastely, and to honor each other in the relationship, there are times that doing that is very, very difficult because the feelings you have (both physical and emotional) are natural, but you recognize that there is a certain context in which allowing those feelings to have free reign is right, and other contexts in which it is not. And maintaining the right attitude toward the other person, particularly when the pleasure he or she gives you is so great ... this is difficult to do as well.

Love is a lot of work. Worth it, but a lot of work.[/quote]
Definitely agree.

[quote name='pan!c139' post='1633853' date='Aug 21 2008, 11:35 PM']Personally, I prefer to save being kissed till after I'm engaged. That way, at least I know that I saved it for the man I'd be marrying. Hugs, holding hands, and few of the other innocent touches mentioned in the poll (if short, and in the right time and place) I would be ok with...[/quote]
My husband and I kissed before we were technically engaged but after we'd been dating long enough to know we were planning to get married, if that makes sense. I didn't want to kiss anyone other than the man I'd marry.

[geetarplayer]

Personally, I think the less physically romantic a couple is before engagement, the better. It's not suppression, it's just knowing what kind of behavior is appropriate for and expected of two people who are not married.

Bishop Galeone of St. Augustine has a pretty good rule, I think. If the behavior is inappropriate between a wife and a man who is not her husband, or a man and a woman who is not his wife, it is inappropriate for you and your significant other before marriage. Or as he puts it, if you would feel angry or hurt seeing your spouse doing "X, Y, Z" with another person, then the "X, Y, Z" probably isn't appropriate outside of marriage. (Within reason, of course. Some people are more inclined toward jealousy than others.)

Edited August 22, 2008 by geetarplayer

[Saint Therese]

Do I even get a say in this? I'm going to become a nun.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1640965' date='Aug 28 2008, 08:52 PM']Do I even get a say in this? I'm going to become a nun. [/quote]
Well the pope gets a say.

[avemaria40]

Up till making out, I think you're fine.

But then again, I'm of Italian descent and come by affection honestly. A few friends of mine, male and female, are the same way. Cheek-to-cheek hugs, holding hands (when someone is sad, to console them), cheek kissing, face patting, back/foot massages, are all very common and not arousing in the slightest. Heck, the only way you could tell if it was romantic or not is if there was a kiss on the lips!

It depends on the person and how much affection you're used to, I think.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='geetarplayer' post='1634538' date='Aug 22 2008, 11:23 AM']Bishop Galeone of St. Augustine has a pretty good rule, I think. If the behavior is inappropriate between a wife and a man who is not her husband, or a man and a woman who is not his wife, it is inappropriate for you and your significant other before marriage. Or as he puts it, if you would feel angry or hurt seeing your spouse doing "X, Y, Z" with another person, then the "X, Y, Z" probably isn't appropriate outside of marriage. (Within reason, of course. Some people are more inclined toward jealousy than others.)[/quote]

See, I'm not sure if that holds water, at least for me. Would I be upset if my husband (whoever he will be) held some other woman's hand, or kissed her if we were married? Yes. However, I wouldn't be upset if he had kissed someone before we were together...and I've kissed other guys, too. *shrug*

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='MissyP89' post='1641656' date='Aug 29 2008, 01:26 PM']See, I'm not sure if that holds water, at least for me. Would I be upset if my husband (whoever he will be) held some other woman's hand, or kissed her if we were married? Yes. However, I wouldn't be upset if he had kissed someone before we were together...and I've kissed other guys, too. *shrug*[/quote]
Agree. That's why marriage involves a strong public commitment, but dating by nature does not.
Means it's not inherently wrong to end a dating relationship.
If it were... well our society would be in a way bigger mess than it is now.

[MakeYouThink]

If I were dating a girl, I would give her a romantic kiss every single time I saw her, to show her I care about her, and that I am honoured she choose me over every other guy on the planet.