JesusIsMySuperHero Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 I put up the post to remind people that touching is okay, until you get to the point where you want to have sex constantly. Then it would be time to get married. I am fine with touching, hugging, and kissing the girl in my life. However, when it comes down to it, when all you can think about is wanting to have an intimate moment with your loved one, then you need to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydigit Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 [quote name='JesusIsMySuperHero' post='1524211' date='May 10 2008, 03:25 PM']I put up the post to remind people that touching is okay, until you get to the point where you want to have sex constantly. Then it would be time to get married. I am fine with touching, hugging, and kissing the girl in my life. However, when it comes down to it, when all you can think about is wanting to have an intimate moment with your loved one, then you need to get married.[/quote] or, after having discerned marriage as seriously as religious life, answer God's call to religious life, where every normal man or woman still combats lust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alycin Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 [quote name='missionseeker' post='1522901' date='May 9 2008, 12:05 AM']I think healthy touches are good for a relationship. I can understand wanting to save kisses for marriage and think it admirable, to an extent. HOWEVER, if the problem is no touches because it leads to fornication... then... then there is a problem. A problem rooted in a misunderstanding of human relations and sexuality. Our sexuality is a means to our salvation. Sex is not bad. But it is only good in its proper place. As my philosophy professor says "at the right time, in the right place, with the right person for the right reason". If you cannot hold someone's hand without thinking about sex, then you have a problem. If you are afraid that by hugging someone, then you are sinning, then step back and think about it. The physicality begins while friends and finds its culmination in marriage. As friends, guys and girls generally exchange hugs (and sometimes kisses). Why is it ok as friends and not ok as a couple? No, just like friendship is deepened when a relationship moves beyond friendship, so too does the physical aspect. As the souls become closer, so do the bodies. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT FORNICATION IS OK. THIS IS JUST TO SAY THAT THE HUGS (AND KISSES) BECOME MORE INTIMATE AND EXCLUSIVE. We [i]are[/i] spiritual AND physical beings and our relations with others mirror that. There is NOTHING wrong with an intimate kiss in an inimate relationship. If you can't restrain your desires, then you are treating your partner as an object, not a person. That's YOUR problem, not theirs. Not a universal problem for the law is no touching until marriage. Seriously, if touching is that big of a deal for a guy, why would you want to date him? If he can't hug or kiss you without thinking about sex, then he doesn't REALLY love you and he's treating you as a sexual object.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 [quote name='missionseeker' post='1522901' date='May 8 2008, 11:05 PM']I think healthy touches are good for a relationship. I can understand wanting to save kisses for marriage and think it admirable, to an extent. HOWEVER, if the problem is no touches because it leads to fornication... then... then there is a problem. A problem rooted in a misunderstanding of human relations and sexuality. Our sexuality is a means to our salvation. Sex is not bad. But it is only good in its proper place. As my philosophy professor says "at the right time, in the right place, with the right person for the right reason". If you cannot hold someone's hand without thinking about sex, then you have a problem. If you are afraid that by hugging someone, then you are sinning, then step back and think about it. The physicality begins while friends and finds its culmination in marriage. As friends, guys and girls generally exchange hugs (and sometimes kisses). Why is it ok as friends and not ok as a couple? No, just like friendship is deepened when a relationship moves beyond friendship, so too does the physical aspect. As the souls become closer, so do the bodies. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT FORNICATION IS OK. THIS IS JUST TO SAY THAT THE HUGS (AND KISSES) BECOME MORE INTIMATE AND EXCLUSIVE. We [i]are[/i] spiritual AND physical beings and our relations with others mirror that. There is NOTHING wrong with an intimate kiss in an inimate relationship. If you can't restrain your desires, then you are treating your partner as an object, not a person. That's YOUR problem, not theirs. Not a universal problem for the law is no touching until marriage. Seriously, if touching is that big of a deal for a guy, why would you want to date him? If he can't hug or kiss you without thinking about sex, then he doesn't REALLY love you and he's treating you as a sexual object.[/quote] YOU ROCK! :bighug: You said exactly what I mean! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisieux Flower Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 yay! i agree with everyone else, missionseeker's post rocks!! also, i think it's admirable too, wanting to save your first kiss for marriage, but it surprises me that so many people say that if their husband is your first kiss, then you won't be tempted to compare him to other men you've kissed or that he'll compare you to other women. i would never dream of comparing someone i'm in a relationship with and in love with to other guys that i've kissed that i wasn't in love with. it's completely different with you kiss that guy who you're head over for, trust me. when you're in love, no other guy could possibly compare to him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) Thanks, guys. it's something I definitely become passionate about. lol. Touches are almost sort of holy in some ways- not to sound sacreligious- to say that they aren't that they are "just" touches, isn't giving them enough respect. To say that they are temptations to sin is puritanical in some repsects (I realize that someone can have a valid problem with it, but generally speaking)- it's kind of like puritans with art in churches. It isn't there for us to woriship or to distract us from God, it's there to bring us to God. Edited May 16, 2008 by missionseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 well, saving the first kiss for marriage, just wouldnt work for me. the only way i could imagine it happening is if we met and were married instantly fast, and there would be no way to figure out if each other were the right person. several years before a kiss? without wanting to sound shallow, but i would probably not be sticking around that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 woo, i killed the thread! anyways, my view on this is that it makes a good thought, but in the real world of long courtships and engagements before marriage(as it should be), i dont think it can work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 [quote name='Jesus_lol' post='1531324' date='May 17 2008, 10:41 AM']woo, i killed the thread! anyways, my view on this is that it makes a good thought, but in the real world of long courtships and engagements before marriage(as it should be), i dont think it can work.[/quote] Well, this has been one of those threads that dies and then after you think it's been safely put to rest, it comes back to haunt you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 oh. then, oops? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 [quote name='Jesus_lol' post='1531790' date='May 17 2008, 06:53 PM']oh. then, oops?[/quote] S'okay. It's not as painful as some of the threads that people don't let die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Like the torture thread Anywho, I like this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 So, I just noticed that there is no "t" in the word courtship in the title of this thread. I just find it odd that I've posted on this thread so many times and just noticed it now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 i just noticed that Misscripture spelled her name wrong, there needs to be another "S" gotcha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'll add my voice to the discussion without reading the other posts, and likely echo several: My thoughts: men come with a built-in chastity indicator. When the indicator goes off, it's a good time to stop. Past that, I'd love to at least try a relationship where we promised not to kiss until the altar, God willing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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