TeresaBenedicta Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 [quote name='JTheresa' date='22 June 2010 - 07:21 PM' timestamp='1277245301' post='2132970'] Wow, I forgot how much I love this thread!!! That prayer by Thomas Merton is amazing TB!! Thanks so much for sharing!! [b]Even though I think I know what I'm doing for at least the next three years, I feel like somehow I'm jumping out into the deep onto a path that will take me who knows where. Somedays, while I'm slowly gathering up the things that I'll take with me, I can't help but think to myself, "what the (beep) am I doing?". I feel like I'm walking into total darkness, with the hope that someday I'll see the light. It can be rather frusrating.[/b] other days, I feel exactly like brightsadness here: I must say, it's a very dizzying rollercoaster ride. But then again, isn't that what typically happens when you're in Love? [/quote] Exactly!! All of it. Especially the bold. Seems to pretty much sum up my spiritual life. I've been toying around with the analogy of a tight-rope to describe those darker periods. It's like all of the sudden I realize that I'm forty feet up in the air, walking on a single rope. [i]What the heck am I doing???? I have [b]got[/b] to be absolutely crazy!!!![/i] But then I realize that there's only two options: give into the fear and therefore "fall" off the rope (I wouldn't die... got one of them nifty harnesses on, but I would be making a conscious decision not to follow love, a decision to cut myself off from where God wants me, to turn my back on a special love given me) or keep going. Granted, I've recently gone on a ropes course as a chaperone for the youth group... so, perhaps that's why I am so keen on the analogy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 Right now for me it seems as though God has shown me the choice of two paths, religious life or not, and He is now waiting for me to decide or accept the proposal if you will. I was getting a bit frustraited and then saying please God tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it but leaning more on the side of waiting for God to simply make the choice for me. I finally realized today, on a deeper level, it's not that simple God gave me free will and here I have to exercise it. I have to say yes on my own. Of course saying yes to God is something we have to do in a big or little way each day but for me this yes is going to be a big one. The above posts remind me of a quote from Mother Angelica that I like " faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach." I feel like that right now too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 [quote name='vee8' date='23 June 2010 - 01:02 AM' timestamp='1277265723' post='2133129'] Right now for me it seems as though God has shown me the choice of two paths, religious life or not, and He is now waiting for me to decide or accept the proposal if you will. I was getting a bit frustraited and then saying please God tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it but leaning more on the side of waiting for God to simply make the choice for me. I finally realized today, on a deeper level, it's not that simple God gave me free will and here I have to exercise it. I have to say yes on my own. Of course saying yes to God is something we have to do in a big or little way each day but for me this yes is going to be a big one. The above posts remind me of a quote from Mother Angelica that I like " faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach." I feel like that right now too! [/quote] I remember one of the most pivotal points in my discernment when I realized that while I had never said "no" to God, I had never said "yes" either. I remember going to prayer, begging God to show me, to tell me (forgetting my previous realization, or perhaps not wanting to really remember it)... and clear as day, I "heard" (not audible, but definitely clear in my head), "Where else would you go? To whom else would you go?" Touche, God, touche. Prayers for you, vee8. That's about all I can offer right now- many, many prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='22 June 2010 - 11:57 PM' timestamp='1277269052' post='2133142'] I remember one of the most pivotal points in my discernment when I realized that while I had never said "no" to God, I had never said "yes" either. I remember going to prayer, begging God to show me, to tell me (forgetting my previous realization, or perhaps not wanting to really remember it)... and clear as day, I "heard" (not audible, but definitely clear in my head), [b]"Where else would you go? To whom else would you go?" [/b] Touche, God, touche. Prayers for you, vee8. That's about all I can offer right now- many, many prayers. [/quote] Its funny you should write that because that is the second or third time is as many days that phrase has come up, along with "who do you say I am?" Thank you for the prayers and I continue to keep you and all VSers in that novena to St Joseph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Pet Peeve #4: It seems that all parishes have decided to only offer confessions on Saturdays immediately prior to the Vigil Mass. I don't know about the rest of the world, but this is a [i]terribly[/i] inconvenient time for me. I don't generally go to the Vigil, so I'm usually doing something with family. Why are there rarely confession times outside of that? *grumble* On another random note, it seems like VS has gone quiet. But maybe I'm the only phool without a life that notices these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morostheos Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I completely agree about Sat. afternoons being an awful time for confession. At my parish this past year, there was confession 30 minutes before EVERY Mass. It was glorious!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTheresa Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='25 June 2010 - 01:55 PM' timestamp='1277488542' post='2134112'] On another random note, it seems like VS has gone quiet. But maybe I'm the only phool without a life that notices these things. [/quote] I noticed that too, I would speak up, but I have a bad reputation of killing a thread instead. I tend to overdo things. Like watering my plants. I give them so much water they die. sorry, random rambling. I give it a day or two. Then VS will be back to it's usual activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilde Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I feel like I want to live in a convent. Not become a nun, i can't do that yet, but just live there for the atmosphere and the LOTH. Well, well time will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 Maybe everyone is taking their quiet day(s) of contemplation at the same time if I could I'd enter today! All that total glorious union with God time *happy sigh* ......and I'd probably get more sleep too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 (edited) [quote name='vee8' date='25 June 2010 - 02:51 PM' timestamp='1277495489' post='2134147'] Maybe everyone is taking their quiet day(s) of contemplation at the same time [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif[/img] if I could I'd enter today! All that total glorious union with God time *happy sigh* ......and I'd probably get more sleep too! [/quote] I think all of Phatmass has been quieter. Maybe people are on vacation, or at work, or (gasp!) having a life! I log in and check posts, but I can't think of anything interesting to say. Maybe the heat has slowed us down. Note to Vee8: Why would you expect to get more sleep in the convent? In virtually every horarium I read on the Internet, the time for sleep is 7 hours or less a night. I truly envy people who can be energetic on 7 hours of sleep. You get so much more done! Edited June 25, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 [quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='25 June 2010 - 02:55 PM' timestamp='1277495735' post='2134150'] I think all of Phatmass has been quieter. Maybe people are on vacation, or at work, or (gasp!) having a life! I log in and check posts, but I can't think of anything interesting to say. Maybe the heat has slowed us down. Note to Vee8: Why would you expect to get more sleep in the convent? In virtually every horarium I read on the Internet, the time for sleep is 7 hours or less a night. I truly envy people who can be energetic on 7 hours of sleep. You get so much more done! [/quote] Right now I only get about five hours of sleep so seven hours plus the possibility of a siesta, and not to mention grand silence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTheresa Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 [quote name='vee8' date='25 June 2010 - 03:51 PM' timestamp='1277495489' post='2134147'] Maybe everyone is taking their quiet day(s) of contemplation at the same time if I could I'd enter today! All that total glorious union with God time *happy sigh* ......and I'd probably get more sleep too! [/quote] [quote name='vee8' date='25 June 2010 - 04:20 PM' timestamp='1277497257' post='2134162'] Right now I only get about five hours of sleep so seven hours plus the possibility of a siesta, and not to mention grand silence [/quote] I'm with vee. The Sisters get way more sleep than I do September needs to hurry up!!! I'm sick of being in limbo!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 If I ever join a community I hope they have a nap time too. I can't go all day without one sometimes, especially working full-time. I hope the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne can provide, otherwise God needs to give me the grace to go without a nap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Siesta!!! I love siesta!!! I became a little kid again in college... taking naps everyday... but then I gave them up for lent. And didn't go back to them because I technically didn't [i]need[/i] the extra sleep and I needed to get my work done, since I was overloading every semester. Could've used a nap today, though... I went to bed around 1:30am and woke up at 4am, couldn't fall back asleep, and have been up since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='25 June 2010 - 05:24 PM' timestamp='1277501094' post='2134191'] Siesta!!! I love siesta!!! I became a little kid again in college... taking naps everyday... but then I gave them up for lent. And didn't go back to them because I technically didn't [i]need[/i] the extra sleep and I needed to get my work done, since I was overloading every semester. Could've used a nap today, though... I went to bed around 1:30am and woke up at 4am, couldn't fall back asleep, and have been up since. [/quote] I took a nap today. I really needed it because of the stress I have been going through at my job (and I am job hunting again...). It was only about 45 minutes long, but it was good. I felt much better afterward. Naps FTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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