Norseman82 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) False. God doesn't pick out our spouses; there's no such thing as a "one true love soul mate destined and set aside for me by God." :) There are multiple people with whom you can have a holy marriage, which underscores the idea that marriage is about consent, about choice, and working to live up to that choice and making the marriage work. It's fine to talk about "my future spouse" or "my future wife is out there somewhere," but not in the sense that there's only one person "meant" for you and if you don't find him or her you're out of luck forever. Karl Keating had to tell his apologists to stop spreading that idea around. :) Edit: WAIT. You're probably being sarcastic. Derp. Nevermind then. This is what happens when I phatmass before my morning coffee. :P THANK YOU. I was going to post something similar (Tab also should read what you posted), but you beat me to it. And polski, i guess i just hope your open to the will of God on this and not your own will. Again i think it is fine for you to desire another virgin to marry, but stay open also to the possibility it may be the will of GOD that you help a prodigal to stay home and not leave again or a lost sheep that never actually left the fold is just a bit confused or something. And the priesthood or missionary brother even. :) just stay open to the will of GOD. I can't discern that for you. Edited July 21, 2013 by Norseman82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) Wow, 13 pages of this thread already!!! Anyway, a lot of good things have been said in this thread already but I wanted to add this video of Jason Evert who is a speaker on purity etc. He is pretty great! Its only 5 mins so please bear with the story and wait for the point at the end! The audio is a tad off but its a good video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW8nDjVGL3E Basically, people make mistakes but we are all given forgivness if we seek it. Thats the bottom line. (For those who dont want to listen to the video): Jason Evert's wife slept around frequently when she was growing up. She was lost and didnt know where to turn. She was able to crawl out of the dark time she was experiencing and received forgivness. Jason Evert married her in spite of her difficulties in the past and never batted an eye. Edited July 21, 2013 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 the op said he would not marry a women who was vaginally raped. he said if she was molested but not vaginally raped then he would consider marrying her but any vaginal rape and he would not even consider it. Apparently its the women's fault she would not be his version of a virgin when they married. So simple solution, women just need to stop getting raped. Easy enough. So if the op was walking along at night and a gang of men attacked and raped him, that would, in his eyes, make him unmarry-able? Or, what if the girl had ben anally raped? I wonder how he would view that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Marie Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I hope I'm not breaking any rule by posting this but the same thread was created on the catholic answers forum - http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=807112&highlight=virgin+to+marry Interesting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tufsoles Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I knew that I have seen this somewhere.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havok579257 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I think the biggest thing that men who are not married think about relating to their future marriage is sex. Although as all married people will attest to is that married sex although wonderful and fantastic is just 1 aspect of marriage and by far not the most important. The most important is helping your spouse get to heaven. I just don't think single men understand how small sex makes up in a marriage. Is it important, absolutely. Is it the most important thing, no. Once you have children its importance drops more since welfare and education of your children are more important than sex in marriage. So single men, stop thinking/worrying so much about sex when you get married. Stop being insecure about your sex life with your future spouse and if she will compare you to other men she has been with. Focus instead on putting her wants and her needs first and you will be fine. Here's my advice about sex from my perspective. I fell away from the church for a long time and had lots of pre-marital sex. I did so many things I am not proud of. Even with all the crazy things I have done(according to secular society what I did would be a good thing), none of it compares to sex with my wife. I love her, she loves me and when we are together it is better than anything in my past. Nothing compares. I am sure when you single guys get married, if your wife had a checkered past her point of view will be no different than mine. Sex with your spouse beats out everything else. So stop worry about sex. My two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 According to the Bible and Catholic teaching, people are supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. God valued sexual purity so much that he dedicated the 6th commandment to this teaching. However, when it comes to the topic of virginity, it's a pretty sad picture for the Catholic church, as well as other churches. Most people who are affiliated with the Catholic church have sex with multiple partners before marriage. Practicing catholics who actually play by the rules and wait until marriage are a minority. Let me say a bit about myself. I am 22 years old, soon to be 23. I graduated from college last year and I’m basically just starting to build my future life. I had some opportunities to loose my virginity before, but I did not act on them. When I was in college (major party school btw), a lot of girls there seemed to be sleeping around, having casual sex, and have liberal views on abortion. I’m not really down with that stuff. To me, if I’m going to be with a girl and invest a lot of time in a relationship, I want her to be have the decency to wait for me like I did for her. I don’t want to be male specimen #4, #14, or #24 for that matter. Biologically, a man usually has a higher sex drive than a women due to higher levels of testosterome in his system. If I was able to do it, with my strong hormone-driven sex drive, then it shouldn't be unreasonable to ask the same of a girl. Virginity is something that is important to me on a personal level and I have no intention of compromising on this issue. This being said, where could I go to find girls (18 and over obviously) who share my values and haven’t had sex yet? In my local catholic church, most of the people who go there for mass are pretty old. The only thing that comes to mind would be to possibly see if a neighboring parish has a larger, more active youth group. Are there any other places that I’m possibly missing? I agree that our culture is very lacking in this regard. I think it could help to get involved in a young adult group at another parish - especially if it's a more traditional parish. I attend an FSSP parish and we have a great young adult group where the faith is taken seriously. :) If there's no young adult group, there are also conferences/retreats for young adults where I met many great Catholics. Just a point... there might be young women in young adult groups who are perhaps not virgins, but who have repented of this and are living chastely now. I think the fact that they are living chastely now, matters. I mean, many people even virgins have somehow sinned against chastity in their life, even if not through actions. A person might have a past but can become a saint, like St Augustine did :) I'm not saying this to minimize virginity at all, I think it's a great thing that is very forgotten in our culture (and often made fun of, unfortunately). It might seem sometimes looking at our world that no one is caring about living chastely, - but those people are out there, and there are also people who have stayed virgins and are waiting till marriage :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I think the biggest thing that men who are not married think about relating to their future marriage is sex. Although as all married people will attest to is that married sex although wonderful and fantastic is just 1 aspect of marriage and by far not the most important. The most important is helping your spouse get to heaven. I just don't think single men understand how small sex makes up in a marriage. Is it important, absolutely. Is it the most important thing, no. Once you have children its importance drops more since welfare and education of your children are more important than sex in marriage. So single men, stop thinking/worrying so much about sex when you get married. Stop being insecure about your sex life with your future spouse and if she will compare you to other men she has been with. Focus instead on putting her wants and her needs first and you will be fine. Here's my advice about sex from my perspective. I fell away from the church for a long time and had lots of pre-marital sex. I did so many things I am not proud of. Even with all the crazy things I have done(according to secular society what I did would be a good thing), none of it compares to sex with my wife. I love her, she loves me and when we are together it is better than anything in my past. Nothing compares. I am sure when you single guys get married, if your wife had a checkered past her point of view will be no different than mine. Sex with your spouse beats out everything else. So stop worry about sex. My two cents. Well, the truth finally comes out. Are you that threatened by Polskieserce because you couldn't "hack it" but he can? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) Well, the truth finally comes out. Are you that threatened by Polskieserce because you couldn't "hack it" but he can? It's cool to want your and your future spouse's first time to be with each other but you come off as very judgmental in some of these posts. Edited July 21, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I think the biggest thing that men who are not married think about relating to their future marriage is sex. Although as all married people will attest to is that married sex although wonderful and fantastic is just 1 aspect of marriage and by far not the most important. The most important is helping your spouse get to heaven. I just don't think single men understand how small sex makes up in a marriage. Is it important, absolutely. Is it the most important thing, no. Once you have children its importance drops more since welfare and education of your children are more important than sex in marriage. So single men, stop thinking/worrying so much about sex when you get married. Stop being insecure about your sex life with your future spouse and if she will compare you to other men she has been with. Focus instead on putting her wants and her needs first and you will be fine. Here's my advice about sex from my perspective. I fell away from the church for a long time and had lots of pre-marital sex. I did so many things I am not proud of. Even with all the crazy things I have done(according to secular society what I did would be a good thing), none of it compares to sex with my wife. I love her, she loves me and when we are together it is better than anything in my past. Nothing compares. I am sure when you single guys get married, if your wife had a checkered past her point of view will be no different than mine. Sex with your spouse beats out everything else. So stop worry about sex. My two cents. You're married? No wonder you're always in such a bad mood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 It's cool to want your and your future spouse's first time to be with each other but you come off as very judgmental in some of these posts. And he doesn't? You don't see the inappropriateness (and, dare I say,hypocrisy) in someone who disobeyed disrespecting someone who is obeying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 And he doesn't? You don't see the inappropriateness (and, dare I say,hypocrisy) in someone who disobeyed disrespecting someone who is obeying? Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 And he doesn't? You don't see the inappropriateness (and, dare I say,hypocrisy) in someone who disobeyed disrespecting someone who is obeying? He's not attacking you for being a virgin. He's mad because you're coming off as holier than thou. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Actually, one of the people in that pic looks at the camera as Nedry tells his contact that no one cares...lol. It's ok. Some people thought I was a dude. Who knows... maybe some still do/will again. Either way, I still look good in a dress. If it helps, I didn't think you were a guy. You did have a female anime avatar for like, forever. Well, the truth finally comes out. Are you that threatened by Polskieserce because you couldn't "hack it" but he can? Norseman, I say this in all charity which you appear to be lacking, but if you can find a man who has never sinned sexually in some way, let him cast the first stone. One of the things I've been amazed has not come up in this thread has been the issue of MALE lust and adultery. It doesn't just have to be having sex before marriage, which Havok has quite obviously repented of and married the woman he loves. It can be masturbation, it can be watching pornography, it can be looking at a woman with an impure heart. Matthew 5:27-30 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery;' but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you. For it is more profitable for you that one of your members should perish, than for your whole body to be cast into Gehenna. If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off, and throw it away from you. For it is more profitable for you that one of your members should perish, than for your whole body to be cast into Gehenna'" We are ALL sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once.[/size] :like: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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